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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sex - How long has it been?

160 replies

Notgettinany · 04/04/2008 12:49

Name change if you have to, I have. Truthfully, how long is it since you have had sex?

I am coming up to two years (and I am married!). Can anyone beat that?

OP posts:
sussies · 06/04/2008 12:53

Dh and I have been together since I was 17, two years of sex and then we moved into together! and for the next 8 years I was lucky if it was 3 times a year. Then ds was born 8 years ago and we had a year of maybe once a month and then NOTHING. So I have been with dh since 1989 and since 1991 we have made love 50 times. That's the way to make a girl feel loved, sexy and wanted.

maidamess · 06/04/2008 12:55

The way I feel about dh at the moment, he won't be getting any of the good lovin' for a loonnnnnnng time

yummymummymybum · 18/04/2008 23:40

4 months now! but i must say that i have really struggled since having my 2nd DS now 19 1/2 mths. feel dead from the waist down. dont even get the urge to pleasure myself anymore! its getting that bad having severe cases of bladder weakness aswell!!!

bethoo · 18/04/2008 23:41

12 hours ago

twinsetandpearls · 18/04/2008 23:42

about half an hour, stopped for a game of scrabble.

lou33 · 18/04/2008 23:57

about a week

fiddledidee · 19/04/2008 00:13

about six weeks - shock we don't usually leave it that long. must put that one to rights, but how the practicalities will figure out when there is usually at least one child turning up in our bed before morning
and no, before anyone tells me, i can't shut the door. the alternative is usually screaming toddler hitting it or larger boy just opening it

solo · 19/04/2008 00:26

About 20 months...not my choice. Been together 3.6 years. Don't live together, (and no, he's not married or with anyone else) but I think it was getting pg that did it for him...doubt he'll ever forgive me. I even had the Mirena put in a year ago so he'd feel confident no more babies, and I've had nothing but trouble with the bloody thing! I think we had a fiddle about 6 months ago, but nothing to write to MN towers about...Tut!
Was totally gagging for it every day when I was pg, but he wasn't having any of it after I got to about 4/5 months.
I tried the talking about it stuff, but he's very grown up, makes me feel inferior with that sort of chat, so it got me nowhere really. Also asked him if he no longer found me attractive, to which he replied ' any man would have to be dead from the waist down not to fancy you'. Well, thank you, but you still don't come near me(no pun intended).
I do wonder if he'll be more interested when I stop bf Dd.

solo · 19/04/2008 00:30

And don't you find that the longer it gets, the more difficult it is to get started again? Then it's like learning to be with someone new all over again. You feel shy, embarrassed, silly etc. I found this when we did do it maybe once or twice a month- it never was frequent...It's definitely him and not me. I do need a good shag though...Sorry!

alipiggie · 19/04/2008 02:29

Coming up to 2 1/2 years. Why not of my choosing. H left for someone else . So here I am single working parent and not even the energy even if I wanted it for a relationship.

PurpleOne · 19/04/2008 02:46

Have had it 5 times in 6 years. last time wa 10 months ago.

God I'm fecking frustrated

solo · 20/04/2008 14:16

I had my way with him last night!!! just had to tell you all...first one in 20 months!

jaanpa · 20/04/2008 21:28

Ok guys, here goes! We have been together for 30 years and married for 26 years. Until January this year, we had not had any form of intimate relationship for about ten, yes ten years. There were many reasons, some to do with now long forgotten health issues on both sides and some to do with being absolutely k"!&*ered looking after children and both working full time. Finally this January it got so I couldn't cope any longer and had to tell him things had to change or we were over. I love him so much and really couldn't cope without that side of marriage any more. I felt worthless and unwanted and he did try to understand. He agreed to try to sort things out and though there have been a few bumps on the way, we are getting that side of our relationship back to where it used to be. That has been the only thing that hasn't been right, there have been no affairs etc. I can only say that now, our Saturday and Sunday mornings are usually spent in bed (our kids are old enough to know not to interrupt- after all, as teenagers they are probably too embarrassed to admit they know what er are up to!) and one or two nights in the week as well. I'm not saying it is all full on sex, but we are enjoying each other and having lots of fun finding new ways to give each other pleasure. I am so glad I told him how I felt and that he was as willing as I was to try to get back on track. I sincerely wish you luck getting your own issues sorted.

solo · 20/04/2008 22:30

jaanpa, that's lovely to hear and I personally wish you both well, with lots more love and loving.x

kittywise · 20/04/2008 22:43

2 years

tdotb · 20/04/2008 23:00

wow, my 10 years is winning - I am really not pleased about that

headacheagain · 20/04/2008 23:08

namechanged

Jaanpa thanks for being so encouraging

I think we have done it once in last 3 months.

headacheagain · 20/04/2008 23:15

Average of 1st 2 pages is just under 6 months!

zippitippitoes · 20/04/2008 23:21

well having skipped throught this thread there are some advantages to being in a new relationship

islingtonponce · 20/04/2008 23:27

and the mode?

headacheagain · 21/04/2008 00:45

the mean/average is 340 days

the mode (most common answer) 1 day (but that counts for anything 24 hrs or less) and it IS the weekend

the median (middle answer) is 14 days

about a third of answers were several months or longer.

OP at least you are in good company.

my DH is away travelling tonight in case you are wondering whether there is an obvious answer to our problem.

unhappy · 21/04/2008 13:32

Ok everyone beat this 5 years and no hope whatsover my dp does not fancy me anymore - makes me very sad

unhappy · 21/04/2008 13:34

just read threads above - OK 5 years is not the longest

unhappy · 21/04/2008 13:41

I would love to change things to the outside world we are a normal couple ( I Think) but in reality I am so unhappy my dp has another woman but denies he is still seeing her and he just doesnt fancy me anymore but the thought of life without him in it is not bearable as in so many ways he is wonderful kind of think there are alot of us out there hiding our tears away from the world and crying in the toliet when the kids are asleep - god I'm a depressing cow arent I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

sleepycat · 21/04/2008 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.