I split up with my DP of 2 years a month ago. It wasn’t a bad break up, the relationship had run its course. He started the conversation. I did surprise him with how unhappy I was and parts of his behaviour that was not nice. He thought I was happy and in love. He said I was the best person to live with. He just didn’t want to make an effort and in his words I am fine wine and he is the cheap beer that wants to do his own thing. Fair enough different values.
We used to live together I moved out 3 days before we split up to my own house (planned was lodging at his), so left a few bits.
over the last month he has texted me to say he found some bits and will drop them off. He has done we have had polite conversation, bit of catch up. He has started to open up how stressed he is and how it’s been making him ill for months. I knew this but he wouldn’t open up. I also know he is depressed but won’t admit it or get help. He says he doesn’t do emotions.
Yesterday was the year anniversary that we went on an amazing Caribbean holiday. It was the best holiday ever. He texted me to say he found our holiday kitty of a few euros, did I want it. The kitty was sat in his cutlery drawer in a big pink purse so very obvious. I told him if he wants it keep it or split it. Up to him.
This then went on to polite conversation. He then texted hours later to remind me we were on holiday last year and it was amazing and we had just moved in. Then he started saying he wasn’t seeing friends as he hates people, is working loads and very stressed. He is not eating properly and is just functioning.
I am not too sure why he is opening up now? does he need a friend or is he now realising he did have it great. He is impulsive and does reflect after he has reacted.
He wouldn’t talk about it before and honestly this is what destroyed our relationship as he went into silo mode to cope. Couldn’t see a partnership is there to support.
I could be overthinking this and it’s completely innocent. But any insight on why exes reach out?