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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Apology note (Met a girl with Bipolar thread)

51 replies

Jules981120 · 12/05/2024 17:28

If you saw my last thread, this is the note I want to drop em off at her house with her jacket/sweater. Letting me know your honest thoughts would be nice:

Dear A*a,

I'm sorry for dropping off your stuff unannounced; it felt wrong to throw away your jacket. I apologize for any hurt I caused with my words or actions, especially if it made you feel compared or tested. Before our argument, I was referring to my brother, whom I drove around a lot during school.

I genuinely like you and would like to explore what could continue between us, if anything. It took me three days after my surgery to see your point of view, and I'm sorry it took me that long. I had time to think while the anesthesia wore off.

I regret making you cry and giving the impression that I didn't want to get to know you for you. It was a mistake, my fuck up, and I'm truly sorry for how I came across.

I asked you to block me because I have strong feelings for you and would rather not know you're out there if I can't have you. I hope that makes sense, but if it doesn't, I understand.

During our argument, I asked if it was your bipolar disorder that caused your reaction, not to dismiss how you felt, but to try to understand. I realize now that the timing and context were terrible, and I'm sorry for adding to the confusion and hurt you were already feeling.

I hope those three weeks were as special to you as they were to me.

If there's any chance we can talk in person again, please feel free to reach out, you have my info. I may not have understood your decision, at the time but I can at least respect it.

You made those three weeks into something special for me. Regardless of your choice, I respect it. You deserve a lot, and I would like to be the person to give and show you that, but I understand if you don't want to see me again, even though that's not what I intended.

I miss you.

  • J***
OP posts:
Wooloohooloo · 12/05/2024 17:29

Unless you knew her well for awhile prior to the three weeks dating, how on earth could you have strong feelings for her? That's coming on way too strong.

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/05/2024 17:33

Why leave a note, just leave her coat outside her door.

GreyCarpet · 12/05/2024 17:33

Fucking hell. You are clueless and terrifying.

Have you any idea how it would sound to a woman you have met 3 times to receive that message?

It took me three days after my surgery to see your point of view, and I'm sorry it took me that long. I had time to think while the anesthesia wore off.

Bit that's bullshit because you're still posting on your other thread saying you don't understand what you did wrong.

Leave the poor woman alone.

I asked you to block me because I have strong feelings for you and would rather not know you're out there if I can't have you

You went on three dates!

Drop the jacket back if you must but without a note.

Do not say anything and leave this woman alone.

You sound worse with every post you write.

Spottedshell · 12/05/2024 17:34

sent form iphon

HappyToSmile · 12/05/2024 17:35

Please don't send that note. Or any similar note.

FionnulaTheCooler · 12/05/2024 17:35

I asked you to block me because I have strong feelings for you and would rather not know you're out there if I can't have you. I hope that makes sense

This is a massive red flag. I'd immediately block you and never see you again.

IncompleteSenten · 12/05/2024 17:36

Fucking hell no.
That's all kinds of stupid waffly shit.
Drop the coat and leave her alone.

IncompleteSenten · 12/05/2024 17:36

FionnulaTheCooler · 12/05/2024 17:35

I asked you to block me because I have strong feelings for you and would rather not know you're out there if I can't have you. I hope that makes sense

This is a massive red flag. I'd immediately block you and never see you again.

Fucking bunny boiler territory that is.

Wooloohooloo · 12/05/2024 17:38

@Spottedshell 🤣🤣🤣

GreyCarpet · 12/05/2024 17:40

You could try just respecting her wishes, OP.

Honestly, if I received a note like that from someone who was behaving as you are who I'd met 3 times, I would be seriously considering going to the police.

But I'd be discussing it with my friends and we'd, at least, laugh and take the piss and, at most, go to the police.

Do you really want to he the reason a woman gets jumpy when she hears the doorbell? Because that the territory you're straying into.

She's blocked you. She wants no further contact from you.

Leave.her alone.

Olivia2495 · 12/05/2024 17:40

It took me three days after my surgery to see your point of view, and I'm sorry it took me that long. I had time to think while the anesthesia wore off.

But that’s a lie. You’ve been posting on your other thread still confused.

Are you neuro diverse?

Gazelda · 12/05/2024 17:42

Wow! That's incredibly intense and I'd run a mile if I received that after a few dates.

A short and sweet 'I'm really sorry things ended the way they did. I'd love to see you again, but if not then I wish you well'.

Then leave her the heck alone. You're messing with her mind.

nightmaries · 12/05/2024 17:42

Whut

(also the bit about rather not know you’re out there if I cannot have you is fucking TERRIFYING.)

Hoppinggreen · 12/05/2024 17:44

If your goal is to scare the shit out of her and guarantee she will never see you again then yes, drop that off with her coat.
OR you could just leave the coat and stop being creepy

Usernamesarenoteasy · 12/05/2024 17:46

Man your other thread was bad enough.
Leave the poor girl alone!
Sounds like she's had a lucky escape.
Your behaviour is very worrying.

LittleGreenDragons · 12/05/2024 17:49

I asked you to block me because I have strong feelings for you and would rather not know you're out there if I can't have you.

Good grief! I would be asking the police for guidance if I read that from anybody. I haven't seen your other thread but are the pp correct in saying you've only dated three times? That's freaking scary. Get help.

Absurdgiraffe · 12/05/2024 17:49

It's too much.

Also a human can not "have" another human. She's not a possession.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 12/05/2024 17:49

Spottedshell · 12/05/2024 17:34

sent form iphon

lol

GreyCarpet · 12/05/2024 17:52

LittleGreenDragons · 12/05/2024 17:49

I asked you to block me because I have strong feelings for you and would rather not know you're out there if I can't have you.

Good grief! I would be asking the police for guidance if I read that from anybody. I haven't seen your other thread but are the pp correct in saying you've only dated three times? That's freaking scary. Get help.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5073229-met-a-girl-with-bipolar-gone-bad?page=1

Met a girl with Bipolar, gone bad | Mumsnet

 met a girl from bumble and we went on 3 dates. Everything was going well, we had long talks about what we wanted from a partner in a relationshi...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5073229-met-a-girl-with-bipolar-gone-bad?page=1

OldTinHat · 12/05/2024 17:53

No. Just no.

Don't do that.

If her jacket was important, then she would have arranged a collection from you.

Please do not.

SamW98 · 12/05/2024 17:55

Unless you want the police calling you in for a restraining order do not even think about it.

LEAVE HER ALONE

BurnerName1 · 12/05/2024 17:56

Are you for real?

Stressyfab · 12/05/2024 17:56

I’d be scared of you.
On your other thread you make it clear you don’t understand what everyone is trying to tell you.

WimseyofBalliol · 12/05/2024 17:58

The woman in this scenario isn’t the one who emerges as having problems.

taleasoldashoney · 12/05/2024 17:59

It took me three days after my surgery to see your point of view, and I'm sorry it took me that long. I had time to think while the anesthesia wore off.

You argued yesterday and broke up today according to your other thread

You have had a lot of posts on the other thread trying to explain this thing you don't understand, but apparently you are going to ignore them and send the note anyway. Do you actually listen to anyone else ever?