Is he a narcissist or just don't care?

[orb567]

So been 'seeing' a guy for an almost a year. Went from talking every single day, and seeing each other occasionally (he's very busy due to work). Then one day he said he can't do this anymore, ok fair enough. It happens. We then carry on texting etc. he ghosted me all last week, then I get a messaging saying he's finding it hard etc. text me the next day to see if I was ok. And now I've sent a few replies he's read and not replying!!! Is he playing games with me deliberately? My head is all over the place.

Ugh- just block him.

Stop letting him treat you this way. Take control and block him. If you don’t, the cycle will continue.
It doesn’t matter if he’s a narc or not.
Don’t waste your time trying to analyse him or find reasons for his behaviour.

But seriously, I really am genuinely curious... wtf is this about? It's just weird to me!

Then one day he said he can't do this anymore

what did he mean by this? Did he elaborate?

Just said because he's so busy he can't give me I deserve. Which I respect. But there's a lot of feelings there. Then he messages after this and now ghosting again.

Wtf is it about?

It's not complicated. There's no great mystery to figure out.

He's just playing with you. Maybe he's met someone else. Wants to keep you dangling for convenience.

Throws you a few breadcrumbs for which it sounds you are grateful.

I'd just block him now and leave it well alone.

He's showing you who he is and if you don't like it, don't engage.

Not sure why you'd infer narcissistic personality disorder from that, he said he didn't want a relationship but is happy to chat a bit intermittently for the familiar company. Doesn't sound like he's promising you anything or claiming the occasional chit chat is anything more than that? When he said he didn't want to keep seeing you (that is what 'i can't do this' means) you should have withdrawn and stopped providing a remote texting service. Waste of your time

Whether he’s a narcissist or not doesn’t really matter. He’s not being good to you. He’s tossing the bare minimum your way to see what you’ll accept.

These sorts of behaviours are disrespectful and unkind. You deserve better.

Sorry but this means 'it's been nice for a bit but I don't like you enough to make it work'. Work is a common reason but people with ridiculously demanding jobs are married with kids. Men will go to great lengths to get a relationship off the ground if they are really keen. Don't accept scraps.

He keeping you as an option …probably seeing someone else don’t give it any more head space honestly really not worth it

Do you think I should just message and say "you got what you wanted, I give up"

Bring busy is just an excuse. However busy one is, you can always make time to be nice if you want to. You'd know if he wanted to see you. In this case, it sounds like he's not bothered. Don't analyse, do yourself a favour and move on.

Maybe you were a rebound and he’s now considering getting back with an ex. Guys don’t often sort their feelings out before they jump into something with a new person. My bets are on that.

No, just give up or tell him it's over in neutral terms (not passive aggressively).

It doesnt matter if he's a narc or not, you can choose not to engage in this BS and I suggest you dont.

He cannot play games with you if you arent playing can he? What would be the point of sending that message apart from him using it to make you his human game of ping pong?

Just block his dickish arse and move on. You wont get anywhere with this one, bin him off.

What ? No ffs stop acting beggy and get some self respect it’s done move on

Yeah don't message him anymore. You deserve someone who is keen and on a level with you.

Yeah I agree, just don't message him. I understand in this moment that might be what you really feel like doing, but I think you will regret it in time as it sounds desperate. I would not message back, play it very cool, he doesn't know how you are feeling inside, don't chase him, it's his loss.

No, he let you know ages ago he wasn't interested and you've made yourself available as and when for company. This is on you. Just ignore.

Do you think I should just message and say "you got what you wanted, I give up"

Do not do this. He doesn’t care.He won’t reply and you’ll feel worse

Why would you bother messaging anything again?

You'll just look desperate, trying to spark his engagement.

Walk away and block him and keep your dignity.

Stop trying so hard. It's pitiful.

💯 cringy

Your last post was stupid. He hasn't wanted this. He doesn't want anything.

I think men are clear. If they chase you, make the effort etc, prioritise you, they are interested.

Anything else and they are not.

This guy....its not got off the ground. He doesn't want it to.

You can drag it out if you want, waste your lovely summer.

Or, you can get back out there and be messaging someone by tonight.....and possibly be his ideal and he messages you every day and can't wait to see you

You’re not genuinely curious. You’re just looking for reasons to justify his behaviour so you can keep in contact with him.

You’re trying to convince yourself ‘he’s going through something’, ‘he’s stressed at work’.

Please don’t be cringe and dramatic and message things like ‘you’ve got what you wanted - I give up.’ That’s just looking for a response, once he replies to you you’ll go right back to him.

You need to reframe your thinking so that the way he acts should be a massive turn off for you. Imagine yourself sitting down with your family and friends with him beside you, and having to tell them he tells you he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, that he ghosts you for a week at a time, he reads and ignores your messages, and that you go back to him every time when he needs some attention!

This non-relationship is stopping you from meeting someone decent that you could be happy with.

... but why would he message the other day saying he hates this?