Husband guaranteed his friends mortgage so I want to separate.

[HoveactuallyBrighton]

Exactly what the thread title says.
Our home's at risk if his friend can't pay the mortgage.

What happens to the mortgage guarantee when we separate?

I cannot understand how someone would do something so irrational and against his own interests

Arrogance. He believes he knows how the situation will play out. Therefore that's definitely what will happen. In his mind there is no risk.

This attitude that it's "his money" shows the contempt he has for you.

You're "the help" in his mind. You're living there - in the house he considers "his", not "ours" - on sufferance. There were scullery maids in Victorian times who were given more respect.

OP put "husband" in the title. They're married, she can divorce him and all assets will be split. It doesn't matter whether she's on the deeds/mortgage or not, the house will need to be sold so he can give OP her half of the equity, that she's entitled to, because she's his wife.

If you did not sign the guarantee you will not be a guarantor however the estate of property owning with DH & DW is usually "joint tenancy". In short there is no easy way to get "your share" as you "jointly" own the whole house. This has the advantage that should one die the whole house passes [outside probate] to the survivor.

You need legal advice as if you wish to split the holding you will need a court order. @HoveactuallyBrighton

As said by pps this man doesnt see you as a partner OP, he's sees you as his domestic slave, you work for him for free so that he can focus on himself and his earning potential.
I would suggest it's not in your interests to stay in this marriage, and also not in your interests to let him know if you are plotting your course out.

She is entitled to some of the house if they are married

If he's a narcissistic type, what he gets out of it'll be something along the lines of fawning gratitude from the friend (and everyone else who he tells about it, so they can compliment him on how generous and kind he is), a feeling of power over the friend (a kind of "I own your house" twisted thinking thing), someone to demand kiss his boots on a regular basis because "look at everything I've done for you, I'm the reason you're where you are now", social status from everyone thinking how rich he must be to afford two mortgages and his current lifestyle (whether that's actually true or not).

That's financial infidelity and financial abuse. He is making decisions unilaterally that affect both of you, and that is an enormous breach of trust.

Do you have your own bank accounts/savings which are separate to his?

I agree. He can surely only use his half as a guarantee?

It's a marital asset. Whilst married, they both own the whole of it, not half each. It only gets divided up if they divorce.

My husband guaranteed a business loan against the equity we’ve got in our house. Fully with my agreement.

The business loan bank (NatWest) insisted that I got independent legal advice and signed an agreement to say that neither me or our kids would have a right to stay in our house if there was a default on the business loan and they needed to sell our house… there’s a second charge on our house (first with our own mortgage HSBC and the second from NatWest).

So I think you may have some protection against eviction if you’re resident and haven’t gone through the legal hoops above!! You should be able to see if there’s another legal charge by searching for the property records.

OP I think you need to calm down and get a grip.

You're not contributing to the mortgage, he has decided to help out a friend. The risk is entirely his.

You jumping to "In any financial settlement, would this be classed as economic or financial abuse?" seems a bit premature to say the least.

@HoveactuallyBrighton what finances do you or did you bring to/into this marriage? What contribution do you make to your partnership? Because, for whatever reason, your DH doesn't value you and/or whatever contribution you believe you bring here.

This situation aside, you also seem so focused on 'his money' as he also puts it. Is that why he refuses to put you on the deed? Did you register your interest 10 years ago behind his back? Your panic etc etc without first trying to get all teh facts and/or working on the issues in the marriage, speak volume.

You jumping to "In any financial settlement, would this be classed as economic or financial abuse?" seems a bit premature to say the least.

--
No, it shows OP's MO or state of mind. Just a settlement she can get from this man when she eventually divorces him. This seems to have been in the works or a solid plan by OP since '10 years ago' at least. She is not panicking as she fears her sinister plan is falling apart; she needs urgent assurance that she will still be quid's in, no matter the outcome of DH's guarantee etc etc.

OP, with respect, I would focus on improving your earning powers if you want money.

One Q I had was, is if DH is hoping to 'make some money' from his friend whilst he is a guarantor. Is the friend paying DH? I expect not, but important to know.

Has he actually put a charge on your home? If not its not at risk unless he is made bankrupt.

Nevertheless, take strong legal advice ASAP about your position.

*now panicking...

Sorry but it's his house, he's paying the mortgage, surely that means it's his decision? But instead, you want to separate, and get half of the house HE has paid for? You're giving women a bad name here.

You know what, if someone saw me as his "domestic slave" and paid for the roof over my head, I'd probably lick his fucking boots. Half joking, of course. But only half 🤪

What sinister plan?
He refused to put my name on the Deeds after 5 years of marriage and me earning £20 an hour.
He works 6 days a week out of choice.
He told me he wanted a family and we didn't have free childcare after school and school holidays, so i had to give up work, his idea for me to give up work.

He doesn’t see you as an equal that’s for sure

Was the house HIS and you moved in with him
hence mortgage In Sole name ?
were you married and bought the house but he put it in sole name of him ? Obviously he could afford mortgage on a sole application then
if this is so, why didn’t your solicitor bring this up to you ?
He doesn’t want you having anything he’s paid for that’s for sure
do you have children together?

You are focussing on the guarantor decision when in fact it is only a symptom of a rocky marriage where you have not been treated as an equal partner. Try to set aside the possible consequences of DH’s recent decision and think about what you want from the marriage. If there is anything there worth saving then this shouldn’t be enough to end it. If on the other hand there is nothing you want to save then this is the last straw.

She has a beneficial interest in law, and this has been registered, so she will be entitled to some of the value - how much ? that may have to be decided in court.

Divorce rather than separation is needed to go through the motions of forcing the division of finances.

OP your husband has been a complete fool, and has no financial acumen, only idiots stand guarantor - he is also out of order not putting you on the deeds IMHO.

If you love him, it's an ultimatum situation, he sorts it or that's it. Don't know if you can get out of being a guarantor - I assume a replacement guarantor would be needed.

great. that's your contribution- free childcare. relax- we just want a clear pic.

so, it is your life and dc's which is put at financial risk. this makes a bit more sense of your wanting to secure finances and jumping for separation straight away.