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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I reading too much into this?

85 replies

Confuseddad2024 · 09/05/2024 08:43

So i will paint the picture first

Im a 32 year old dad of 2 girls ( should say angels as they are just perfect) 3yo and 2yo
my wife and I have been together for 9 years married for 6
relationship has been strained recently mostly because of finances and general parenting life but we love each other to our cores! This I am 100% sure about!

Another couple in this story Sarah and John
John has started a new job and is away from home a lot
Sarah wants kids soon but johns new job isn’t making it easy and has often commented on how lovely our family is

Sarah and I when we were teenagers ALMOST went out but didn’t and ended up barely now speaking as life drifted us apart

My wife and I and John and Sarah see each other every week in passing as we are all members of the same organisations and relationship between us all has been a BBQ few times a year and a few nights out together s part of a larger group

So!
I was waiting to get onto a plane at an airport gate and Sarah sees me and waves (not planned we just crossed paths randomly)
We were both traveling for our work but totally unrelated (I swear by this please rest assured none of this interaction was planned)

We got talking and had a bit of a heart to heart
Sarah seems to think John is having an affair of some kind (as she has found some make up on clothes etc but coudl be linked to his work also?) but hasn’t confronted him on this
We got talking at the gate and ended up talking all the way to the plane only to find that we were sitting beside eachother! (again this was not planned!!!!)

The flight was about 1 hour and we talked as the conversation got deeper and deeper (how I found about johns new job and potential affair) I saw her getting upset and we had a coffee and chatted more and more
It was a red eye flight so we were both very tired and Sarah's head started to drop onto my shoulder as I thought she was going to sleep
After the conversation and knowing she hadn’t been getting much sleep I decided to let her rest

The more she rested and the more I thought about how life could have been different (Different NOT better!!!) I rested my head on hers in more of a support/ feeling sorry kind of way
Sarah had her phone sitting on the tray table propped up for a video she never watched I looked at it and saw her eyes were open (I thought she was asleep) she didn’t see me looking but I don’t know if she saw me at all
My hand was open between ours and she pretended to shuffle in her sleep and held my hand while her head rested on my shoulder again I felt so sorry for her and i didnt know what to do so i shuffled and sat forward to "wake her up" and we chatted and laughed some more

As the plane landed and we got off and chatted through the airport we found out we were heading in the same direction and she suggested we shared an UBER we got a large van as she had quite a large bag and so did I
We sat opposite eachother and talked again and I tried to put the plane thing behind me and just chat away to a woman who I thought needed an ear

We kept meeting eyes and the stares got longer and longer until she asked me what hotel was I staying at again and I froze and said I honestly cant remember?!
the uber stopped and i got out and actually walked into my hotel like an idiot
I would be lying if I didn't say she was beautiful but again i am happily married!
but my mind does tend to wonder and don't know how to process this!

I told my wife about all of this of course and she joked about it saying “yea she’s fancied you for ages apparently” but my wife being her supporting loving person just joked about it and thought it was just a funny thing

Long story short I have no idea what to take out of this early morning interaction my emotions are everywhere, Am I reading too much into a small interaction?, Am I overreacting? Am I underreacting? is my wife acting strange not thinking more about this? am i a horrible person for even entertaining the thought of Sarah? do i talk to Sarah about all of this? do i talk to John? their relationship is already in a bad place!!

I love my wife and kids!
Please Help!

OP posts:
Hedgesansflyingpigs · 12/05/2024 10:40

Kurokurosuke · 12/05/2024 10:20

Dunno, but I do think you owe me 2 minutes of my time back.

😂😂😂😭😭😂😂😂😭😂😂

Hedgesansflyingpigs · 12/05/2024 10:43

I'm also surprised you didn't find out you were both at the same hotel and the same room was double booked for you by accident.

No other rooms or hotels around available so you had to share the double bed.
😂

Blahdymcblahdyface · 12/05/2024 10:45

Is this someone’s English homework ? Write an intro to a shit mills and boon ?

PhuckyNell · 12/05/2024 10:47

Please rest assured I don't believe this happened

Nonewclothes2024 · 12/05/2024 10:49

Are you doing a creative writing course ?Confused

SeismicSalad · 12/05/2024 10:58

I do have some important advice for you. You need to use fewer exclamation marks. You sound like how I imagine a puppy would speak.

SandInSandwiches · 12/05/2024 11:00

Has Mills and Boon heard of you? You’re full of yourself, aren’t you?

RoseyLentil · 12/05/2024 11:02

DustyLee123 · 09/05/2024 17:48

A red eye one hour flight ???

Bristol to Belfast
Birmingham to Glasgow
Glasgow to Belfast
Birmingham to London
All about an hour. Plenty of others too.

BlastedPimples · 12/05/2024 11:06

Please don't try and be a hero / white knight / shoulder to cry on for Sarah.

This is how many affairs start. It's boring. Predictable. And horribly destructive.

Shut Sarah down when she contacts you again. And she will.

Unless of course you want to lose your wife and current family set up.

Hedgesansflyingpigs · 12/05/2024 11:18

A moment of silence for everyone giving genuine advice on here 😭😂

EasternEcho · 12/05/2024 11:45

RoseyLentil · 12/05/2024 11:02

Bristol to Belfast
Birmingham to Glasgow
Glasgow to Belfast
Birmingham to London
All about an hour. Plenty of others too.

I was under the impression that "red eye" flights are typically overnight flights, hence the term implying a lack of sleep. I wouldn't have thought a one hour flight would be considered a red eye flight. I could be wrong.

greengreyblue · 12/05/2024 11:48

All you need to ask yourself is are you happy in your relationship? If you are, forget the rest and maybe put a bit of distance between you and this couple.

Combattingthemoaners · 12/05/2024 12:38

Sounds like a made up story from the fictional section of Take a Break!

MermaidEyes · 12/05/2024 12:57

Hedgesansflyingpigs · 12/05/2024 11:18

A moment of silence for everyone giving genuine advice on here 😭😂

🤣

DrJonesIpresume · 12/05/2024 13:00

Draw a line. Stay on the right side of it.

AngelinaFibres · 12/05/2024 14:11

Hello Op. I was in the position your wife is in 28 years ago. My husband acted on the opportunity offered by a colleague. We had 2 sons aged 3 and 2 at the time. It didn't work out at all as he intended . He ruined his life . I met and married someone else and my life is lovely. He did me an enormous favour.Your wife will move on. Your children will see you EOW until they want to see friends more.Put your cock back in your pants and get on with your life. My exhusband ended up divorced for a second time, homeless and penniless having used up all his pensions after being unable to find work. Killed himself 7 weeks ago.

NoThanksymm · 12/05/2024 14:31

You told your wife. Good job. That was all I was gonna suggest.

her reaction says she loves and trusts you - so no break that trust!

id probably ignore all the akward bits. Just pretend they didn’t happen. Maybe she was sleeping with her eyes open. But yeah. Again talk to your wife if that’s ok.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 12/05/2024 15:23

SandInSandwiches · 12/05/2024 11:00

Has Mills and Boon heard of you? You’re full of yourself, aren’t you?

My thoughts exactly @SandInSandwiches 😂

Shan5474 · 12/05/2024 16:47

On the same plane I could believe but sitting next to each other is just too far fetched. I think either some very important details have been tweaked or this a reverse from a wife who has been told this story. If real, your wife is incredibly trusting and you should put this behind you and not be alone with Sarah ever again. If it is a reverse, in the wife’s shoes I would be very suspicious of the story

tolerable · 12/05/2024 16:58

so many coincidences!
Your wife laughed it off.....loving\supportive.did she aye?
is she seeing John ?

tara66 · 12/05/2024 17:10

It appears she came on to you but nothing happened. You are not interested. She is worried about he marriage, you turned up out of the blue as a shoulder to cry on and she likes you so she may now think you are her destiny (or DESTINY!). Steer clear of this woman - you had a little relatively innocent surprise adventure but she may see things differently.

SeriaMau · 12/05/2024 17:20

Mills. Boon. And bollocks.

choccytime · 12/05/2024 19:38

🙄

time2changeCharlieBrown · 12/05/2024 20:05

Sarah is clearly in a bad place and needy for affection and attention
but i do not think you should act on this to be anything more
id forget it and be grateful for the happy family that you already have

BringBackLilt · 12/05/2024 21:32

I'm sure I saw this on channel 5 a couple of weeks ago when I was off sick.

What a plonker.