I was on and off it for a couple of years. Most men wanted sex. I made it clear that wasn’t on the table to start with.
Had all sorts of dates including one or two who ending up revealing they were married but kicked into the spare room. Any hint of sex talk up front was a no.
I started many conversations and ended them if they didn’t pick up on something I said and ask me a question back. So for example - if they said - how was your weekend going? (Bit boring but ok) I’d say - yes planning to watch The boat race or whatever - your plans? And I saw on your profile you are interesting on cycling - are you going out for a ride - what’s the weather like?
if they replied something like. Weather looks good going out Saturday but didn’t actually ask me or pick up something I said - I cut it off.
if they said something on their profile eg I like reading but couldn’t answer the question what was the last book you read? It was a no
if they had a mental ex or going through a separation or divorce it was a no etc
etc I met a few
I always gave them at least one date unless they had a red flag during the date
Over a year of looking with a 3 month break I am now on an exclusive relationship. He’s nice, kind, normal, and rather than spouting he is a feminist etc his actions show it. He is compassionate and empathetic and I have met his friends. He was a 55 year old looking for someone 50-60. He’s told me what’s going on with him, what he wants. After many texts we had a few phone calls and then met and then arranged a next and then he asked me if I was interested in dating properly and as I have two children and he has one grown up child, we agreed I might meet his sooner than he met mine but also that it was important to actually meet regularly and I think he said something like … we both work full time and your time with your children at the weekend is important too. But shall we try to meet once a week even if it is for a cup of tea together pending children and parenting etc
A natural friendship bloomed on mutual interests, a genuine want to get to know each other and a spark …… but it’s still relatively early days / months and I really like him. We do laugh a lot but both of us agree friendship is vital. He’s into good communication …
I might be on here reporting in a weeks time he has a gambling issue but fingers crossed 🤞
I would advise you to find a connection and build on it - and have very very high standards. If they didn’t communicate or ask stuff I ended it. If they ‘harassed me’ eg 6 messages without a reply - again shut it down. I was very demoralised at time and came off and back on but it is a numbers game. But probe gently and at a red flag - run - just finish it.