Pregnant and unhappy

[Bm2015]

Hi I’m 32 weeks pregnant, it’s my 3rd child, 1st with my fiance, got engaged few months ago, he’s young kids from previous relationship, we have the kids regularly, I treat them as my own, they stay at my house, but he never tells me nothing about how kids are during week but is texting the mum daily, anyway my issue is he definitely has a drink problem and a cocaine, he promises me the world it will stop etc, never happens, I don’t believe any more and I am fed up hearing his lies. He works away and comes home for weekends, from the moment he’s home to he’s gone it’s all about drink. He’s always sneaky on phone also, and making jokes about my ‘other man’ it really pisses me off, It’s not the life I want. I think I may be better alone. I do love him but I feel taken for granted, I feel he has it too cushy with me staying in my house, driving my car, not contributing to nothing. I do know if I leave things would be nasty and he would Make my life hell. Sorry don’t really know what I’m asking 😢😢

Just get rid of him and claim maintenance.

Why on earth did you get pregnant by a pisshead druggy cocklodger who you don’t even particularly like?

This. Dont tie yourself to a man who you know would het nasty if he doesnt get to take advantage of you.

Or if you decide to stay with the abusive fucker hopefully your other children have a father who will put them first and have them living with him.

Okay, so had he got any good points?

@GrazingSheep

I understand the other 2 kids are his....?

OP, please get out of this situation now. You have a child and can't be affording a useless cocklodger living in your house.

I didn’t say I didn’t like him,

Why do you like him?

Why do you like a drunken drug addict who already has children who don't live with him?
You say he'll be nasty if you leave? Are you afraid of him?

@MariaLuna
She says it’s her 3rd child, first with him.
He also has children from a previous relationship.
Poor kids - all of them.

Where did I mention abusive??

He uses cocaine
Drinks
Lies

No my other 2 kids aren’t his,
ok thanks-
wouldn’t need to be at breaking point on this forum anyway.
shouldn’t of asked nothing.

He is emotionally abusive. He lies about stopping his addictions. He jokes about you being with other people. That is manipulation, which is abusive.

He may also be financially abusive if he depends on living with you for free and using your car etc, without contributing. Or at best, he takes advantage.

If you’re afraid he’ll get “nasty”, that tells us all that he will react in an abusive manner.

It’s OK to call things by their name. Your partner definitely sounds abusive.

What do you want people to say?
You know yourself exactly what you’re facing.

Another woman putting men before her children.
He's a drug addict, loser , cheater and sponger and you picked him to dump on your current children. Poor poor kids and now another to add to this toxic mess. But no doubt op will still keep this man at all costs.

I think I may be better alone. I do love him but I feel taken for granted, I feel he has it too cushy with me staying in my house, driving my car, not contributing to nothing.
all completely correct

what are you getting out of it? It’s not money, love, a partner, a friend, a family or even basic kindness

I do know if I leave things would be nasty and he would Make my life hell
how nasty? Would you be safe? Can posters help you make a plan?

In your OP.

You said he'd turn nasty if you left.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

It doesn't sound good that he's abusing substances, being sneaky on his phone, and not contributing to the relationship, living in your house, driving your car.

Situations like this can escalate and I know he promises he will stop, but it may get worse and start effecting the children.

My advice would be to give an ultimatum. If he doesn't change, I would leave. The children deserve to see you happy, they pick up on more than what we think.

Good luck ❤️

You said he also has kids. How many children are there messed up in this? 5? More?

Feel bad for the kids here, what a life to grow up in, and another one on the way. I hope you can find a way out, for your child's sake. Sadly your posts don't seem to be heading in that direction

Frankly, who do you love more - your children or him?

Because living with an alcoholic drug addict isn't ever going to be in their best interests is it?

So decide. Your children's short and long term wellbeing or your relationship with this man.

Which do you value more?

What is that , being a single Parent ?
my kids always come first- I was posting maybe in hope someone has come out the other side, but it seems I’m being daft. Life isn’t how I planned it, I’m emotional and know I need out of this I didn’t expect all the nasty comments and making out I’m a rubbish mother, obviously drink and drugs wasn’t always a problem. And I don’t touch anything I’m dead against it.

My kids

@Bm2015 Does he work? Do you? Thinking of a way forward...