For the last 2 years my Husband of 3 years has been working away. Its been with 3 different companies who all had continuity of work. The company he works with now is a really great company. They have a great team, fab incentives to stay such as private healthcare, the money isn't out of this world but is better than if he had a job at home or within realistic travelling distance.
We've been together 6 years, both had been married before.
This is where the resentful part comes. I have health issues, I've always worked until 2022 when my conditions caused a huge flare and I was house bound for a few months, I still work from home albeit so much less.
For the last 2 years I took care of my MIL who passed away Dec 23, I did it all on my own, physically and mentally. She became very sick quickly and the last 6 months of her life was awful, she was in so much pain and distress. He has a huge family, everyone wanted updates everyday via phone calls to me, or on a whatsapp group but not one person came to help in person. It was a fight to get her care, from insisting she was hospitalised, trying to get carers in, then fighting to keep her in hospital when they wanted to discharge her. I dealt with every phone call, every consultant and nurses. I went to every appointment, scan and visited every day. I looked after her home, did the washing to be taken back to the hospital. I had our dogs to look after too, large dogs. I still look after the dogs, one is elderly and soiling in the house now so it's more constant cleaning and washing.
My husband works 2 weeks away with 3 days off and travels back on the 4th day. He comes home with all his washing, dumps everything, leaves stuff at his arse. He doesn't walk the dogs voluntarily to give me at least a day off. The elderly dog is up during the night at least twice so I don't get a full sleep. I cook every night he's home, from scratch and clean up. I'm exhausted, I'm in tears most days with feeling just so lonely. The dogs and the house and work use up all my energy and more. I feel I'm constantly moaning. We rent, there was new heating and insulation done recently and anytime I mentioned it was an upheaval the reply was think of the benefits etc. Yes I know but sometimes a reply of ffs that's a lot, you're doing great dealing with it all.
There's nothing to keep me here in this area, I've broached the subject of us renting a property closer to his job. His employers have said there's 3 years more work in the area he is and then another not much further up the country.
I've tried speaking about this to him and he is saying I need to speak to his employer.
Am I being pathetic feeling like I'm just a cleaner/housekeeper/provider of meals and sex? I feel I should just move for a fresh start. I can't make a huge decision on my own In case it's a knee jerk reaction to how I'm feeling.
I often feel I'm going on about petty stuff. I have depression and I'm an overthinker, is the depression making me feel doom and gloom and negative or do I have grounds for griping? I just want to escape.
I'm prepared for some horrible replies but please be kind to me I'm struggling emotionally and physically. 🙏