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Original poster

Notifications switched off partners phone

55 replies

Me0 · 29/04/2024 21:49

I have just noticed that Lock Screen message notifications are completely switched off my partners phone. So when he receives a message and his phone is locked it doesn't show up at all that he's received a message. This wasn't the case before. I asked him about it he said he hasn't changed his settings. He has changed the settings because it wasn't like that before. He said I am creating a problem out of nothing. What shall I do?

OP posts:
TTPD · 29/04/2024 22:11

If you are arrested and the police have your phone, you don't want them to be able to read your messages, do you. And if they show up on the locked screen, they can.

Wouldn't they still need you to unlock it to actually see the message? When mine is locked the notification is just "one new email" or whatever. No actual details, not even the sender.

mondaytosunday · 29/04/2024 22:14

So he's comfortable with you looking at his phone.... so what are you worried about? What does it matter if he has notifications on or not?

Original poster
Me0 · 29/04/2024 22:17

mondaytosunday · 29/04/2024 22:14

So he's comfortable with you looking at his phone.... so what are you worried about? What does it matter if he has notifications on or not?

It doesn't matter what the settings are, it was more when I asked why that was the case he said that it has always been the same, it absolutely hasn't. I actually asked if I could have a look at his phone after, he said no.

OP posts:
mikado1 · 29/04/2024 22:18

The latest whats app update did change the notifications for me. I turned them off myself for email and FB. If anyone started questioning me about it, I'd be pretty annoyed!

BitOutOfPractice · 29/04/2024 22:23

So your settings have changed without you changing them. And now you’re pissy because his phone has done the same?

he probably didn’t notice the updates had changed the settings. I wouldn’t.

do you think he’d be up to no good if he hands you his phone to check your DS’s football.?!

highlo · 29/04/2024 22:25

@Me0 I'd absolutely understand your concern if he hadn't just handed you his phone and asked you to check his messages. Also from that it sounds like you know his passcode etc too.

Sounds like he only got defensive and doesn't want you going through his phone after you've started accusing him of deliberately hiding something.

If my DP wanted to use my phone to check something or use an app I couldn't care less. If he started questioning if I was hiding something and wanted to go through my phone to check I'd be raging

Original poster
Me0 · 29/04/2024 22:26

BitOutOfPractice · 29/04/2024 22:23

So your settings have changed without you changing them. And now you’re pissy because his phone has done the same?

he probably didn’t notice the updates had changed the settings. I wouldn’t.

do you think he’d be up to no good if he hands you his phone to check your DS’s football.?!

Edited

My setting hasnt changed without me changing them.

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 29/04/2024 22:29

Well he knows you're onto him now so will likely be more secretive. I'd of quietly changed it back while checking. Don't push him more for now as it looks like he is not up for honesty around this. Keep an eye, other signs will turn up in due course if something fishy is going on.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 29/04/2024 22:29

Me0 · 29/04/2024 22:00

No, he's had the notifications for WhatsApp off for a while and so have I for the same reason. He has completely and utterly denied changing the settings, they have definitely changed.

I'd probably deny it if I was being accused of something dodgy by a person who was literally in a position to go through my messages at the time.

I probably turned them off at some point because it would be incredibly annoying to have my phone lighting up with messages from assorted clothes shops and amazon at night, but I've got no memory of doing it, so they might have been off by default, when I installed apps or after an update. No idea.

Bobbotgegrinch · 29/04/2024 23:19

Why does it matter? Do you not trust him @Me0 ?

ByUmberViewer · 29/04/2024 23:35

TTPD · 29/04/2024 22:11

If you are arrested and the police have your phone, you don't want them to be able to read your messages, do you. And if they show up on the locked screen, they can.

Wouldn't they still need you to unlock it to actually see the message? When mine is locked the notification is just "one new email" or whatever. No actual details, not even the sender.

I'm pretty sure no one gives the police their phone code. Why would you?

Starsandflowers · 30/04/2024 00:58

If there isn't any more context to this (like he's cheated on you before) then I think you are being massively invasive and strange.
I would never in a million years notice what notification settings my husband had on his phone. Why on earth would I care?
And I have all of mine off and phone on silent 24/7! And I'm definitely not having an affair lmao

INeedToClingToSomething · 30/04/2024 19:10

No one should have their text messages show up on their Lock Screen. Turn them off! If someone steals your phone this means they can access the 2 factor authentication text messages of your Lock Screen, and you are making it way easier for them to authorise payments/access your bank accounts etc.

HashBrownandBeans · 30/04/2024 19:26

My phone has stopped notifying me of any messages in the last month or so, I switched it back over and it’s gone back again. No clue why!

SpringerFall · 30/04/2024 19:26

Me0 · 29/04/2024 22:17

It doesn't matter what the settings are, it was more when I asked why that was the case he said that it has always been the same, it absolutely hasn't. I actually asked if I could have a look at his phone after, he said no.

Show quote history

If a person acted this way towards me I would have said no

You want to think he is up to something nothing he says now will stop that

Gunkle1 · 01/05/2024 23:42

Me0 · 29/04/2024 22:26

My setting hasnt changed without me changing them.

Show quote history

Mountain out of a molehill.

Lots of things can cause changes to notifications. I am pretty tech savy especially with mobiles and this happens to me a times for unknown reasons and I can't find the reason. He probably either couldn't be bothered with your interrogation or he thought that it must have always been like this as he hadn't notice much change.

You know his pass code and he would have changed this as well if he was hiding something. I have absolutely nothing to hide, but my partner doesn't have my pass code and I also have some notifications off.

GoingOutShoes · 02/05/2024 08:21

I don't want notifications and have them turned off. I check the phone if I want to use it but aside from that it can wait.

Nocap · 01/05/2025 09:37

Me0 · 29/04/2024 21:49

I have just noticed that Lock Screen message notifications are completely switched off my partners phone. So when he receives a message and his phone is locked it doesn't show up at all that he's received a message. This wasn't the case before. I asked him about it he said he hasn't changed his settings. He has changed the settings because it wasn't like that before. He said I am creating a problem out of nothing. What shall I do?

You stated that his notifications weren’t hidden before but now they are? And he saying he didn’t change anything. Well too be honest it doesn’t sound right. I don’t understand when people bring insecurities, and you have no trust or privacy or whatever. Because me personally if your in a relationship with someone and you two are sharing saliva (hint) s.e.x, why you can’t share phones. Especially if you and him been dating for a while or have kids, share things within finance, (money) and or just in general. Yes that type of switch up can make you question whether they hiding something. There’s no way the phone did that to itself nope. You can manually go in settings to set it to where that certain app ain’t giving out no info.Hint why people in the comments saying some notifications show and some don’t. Than for him to say he had nothing to do with the change. When there has been one. He lying. No app update, no system update is going to say hey well let’s revert these notifications back to block. 😂 Nope if anything it’ll do the complete opposite.

Nocap · 01/05/2025 09:42

You basically still have access to his phone if you can go into settings and see the change. Change it back lmaoo. Only thing you’ll need to worry about is if that passcode change and him not letting you access his phone.

Nocap · 01/05/2025 09:46

I agree to this, especially if your in a relationship an or marriage and he/ or she allows you to have access to their phone I wouldn’t even be concerned.

OchreRaven · 01/05/2025 12:52

Why didn’t you have a quick scroll through when you had his phone? Do you know his passcode?

If he leaves his phone around and it’s not glued to him and you know his passcode then I don’t think there is much to worry about.

If he does act cagey around his phone in general I would snoop because as far as I’m concerned there should be nothing on his phone he isn’t happy with you seeing if you have a healthy relationship.

The fact he said you couldn’t look does raise suspicions but it could be that he was annoyed with your line of questioning and felt unfairly treated.

If I asked my H to look at his phone he would (and has) said knock yourself out and given it to me and walked away. He could choose to get pissy about privacy but ultimately he knows he isn’t doing anything wrong so why have the disagreement (and I only ever ask occasionally if there are plans he’s made that I don’t understand and want to check the original message).

Point being his behaviour is slightly suspicious but not a full on red flag. I would put my mind to rest and check his phone. Remember to check the recently deleted messages!

SummerInSun · 01/05/2025 13:00

Be grateful of your DH bothers to read his messages at all! Last time I looked at my DH’s phone for some reason he had over 200 unread What’s Apps. Doesn’t read any of the school parent chats or the chat with my family or any of the logistic chats for our kids (eg carpools to activities). There is no way he’d want his messages popping up on his locked screen - and neither do I. Incredibly disruptive.

highlo · 02/05/2025 09:36

GoingOutShoes · 02/05/2024 08:21

I don't want notifications and have them turned off. I check the phone if I want to use it but aside from that it can wait.

Me too. But if my partner asked me why I previously had notifications showing in my Lock Screen and then turned them off, id explain why. I wouldn’t lie and deny id turned them off. That’s the suspicious part IMO

Bobbotgegrinch · 02/05/2025 14:08

This seems an absolutely ludicrous thing to get worked up about OP, especially given that he's willingly asking you to check his phone for messages.

Is there any other reason thats causing you not to trust him?

iwannaknow · 02/05/2025 14:54

I have switched all of my notifications too.

This is because I do want to hide them. Not from DH, but from me! I don't want to be constantly pinged or see how many messages I've got. I want to check my phone when it suits me and I pick up any messages at that time.

I'm happy and in a faithful relationship. I can't imagine DH has even noticed and I'd think it weird if he questioned it!