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Original poster

Ex's Wedding Invite

30 replies

popgoestheweezle · 29/04/2024 18:13

I've been asked by my ex if I would like to go to his wedding reception.
We were each other's "first loves."
I'm happily married to my DH and have been for a decade, there are no feelings on my part but I think it's weird.
Would you want someone who used to have sex with your new husband at the wedding?
The bride has apparently said it's fine but it's not is it?
For context I didn't invite him to mine.
Also I feel it's because a few people have dropped out last minute so they are filling seats. It's in a weeks time so not a lot of notice.
It's also about 3 hrs drive away from us.

We are friends but I haven't seen him since a few months after we ended things. (He took it very badly)

OP posts:
80schildhood · 29/04/2024 18:19

Do you want to go?

You have already given plenty of reasons why you shouldn't go:
He's your ex.
You haven't seen him in around a decade.
You have been invited last minute.
It's 3.5 hours away

HulaChick · 29/04/2024 18:23

Can't see any reason why you shouldn't go.

LadyIrony · 29/04/2024 18:23

I had 2 ex'bfs at my wedding reception ( the one who attended my very small wedding 2 days earlier is now 2DDs Godfather - at my-DH's request). If you are friends why not park the relationship thing and move on if possible.

No need to always go scorched-earth on a relationship ending. It's a case-by-case thing. Do you want to be friends with your ex?

Rocknrollstar · 29/04/2024 18:24

I suspect many weddings have guests there who have slept with the bride or groom. DS played in a band at a wedding where the groom announced that he knew the bride was sleeping with the best man. Personally I like a wedding and love getting on the dance floor. Have you anything better to do that day? Do you want to show off how happy you and your partner are? Would you and your partner sooner have a romantic day together or simply stay in bed with a bottle of champagne?

Iwasafool · 29/04/2024 18:27

Will there be old friends there who you haven't seen for a decade? That might make me want to go.

Amonthinthecountry · 29/04/2024 18:30

I think it just depends on the dynamic between you. I invited my first significant boyfriend to my wedding but he’s a good mate and we have a lot of friends in common.

LMMuffet · 29/04/2024 18:34

My husband and I had several exes at our wedding. Because they are relationships which ended fine with people we still like and are friends with. I don’t get why it’s such a big thing.

Original poster
popgoestheweezle · 30/04/2024 15:02

Recently he told me he would always love me, not feelings love.
No the friends we had together aren't going. It would just be me and my DH going

Sorry for the late replies. I have been at work.

OP posts:
NashvilleQueen · 30/04/2024 15:08

Well your last update changed it considerably. If you were just mates then fine. If he still harbours feelings for you then it's inappropriate and you stay away.

newyearnewknees · 30/04/2024 15:10

You're hardly friends if you haven't seen each other for over ten years. I wouldn't go for that reason more than anything.

Original poster
popgoestheweezle · 30/04/2024 15:12

I was going cleaning out my WhatsApp messages and came across it.

OP posts:
BarrelOfOtters · 30/04/2024 15:25

As long as it doesn't turn into 4 weddings and a funeral...

My husband's ex was at our wedding, I'd have invited my ex partner if he'd been in the country at the time.

Having the ex there was handy as she took their kids home when they'd had enought.

gannett · 30/04/2024 15:45

Would you want someone who used to have sex with your new husband at the wedding?

There's nothing unusual about that. I'm not sure I've been to a wedding where at least one ex of bride and/or groom wasn't also there. Why wouldn't the bride think it's fine?

But if you don't want to go to to the wedding of someone you haven't seen for over a decade, at the last minute, you shouldn't feel you have to. Those are better reasons for not going!

mlc0 · 30/04/2024 15:59

I don't think it's weird, I'd go to my ex's wedding if on good terms & friendly. I'm also happily married now

MaggieFS · 30/04/2024 16:11

So you last saw him a few months after it ended and you've been married for a decade? So you haven't seen him for more than ten years? Bloody weird IMHO for him to have invited you.

I know plenty of people who have remained friends with exs and some who have been to their weddings. But they've had regular, friendly, contact all along.

Original poster
popgoestheweezle · 30/04/2024 16:26

Part of me thought that it seems a bit like
" Ha look at me I'm getting married, I'm happy."
Don't get me wrong he's a lovely guy it just seems weird as it's been well over 12 years since I've seen him in person.
The "I will always love you." was since they got engaged

OP posts:
rrrrrreatt · 30/04/2024 17:07

My friends think I’m weird but I’d invite my partner’s ex to our wedding. They were together for nearly a decade so I’ve got her to thank for shaping him into the man I love and get to marry. I grew up in a blended family though so I don’t know any different.

I understand why some people feel less comfortable but I’ve always had the view some relationships are for seasons and when that season is over you can still appreciate what it gave you and maintain a friendship if it suits both parties.

Ohnodontwantthiscrush · 30/04/2024 17:16

popgoestheweezle · 30/04/2024 16:26

Part of me thought that it seems a bit like
" Ha look at me I'm getting married, I'm happy."
Don't get me wrong he's a lovely guy it just seems weird as it's been well over 12 years since I've seen him in person.
The "I will always love you." was since they got engaged

Jesus no. What a weirdo. How the f can he always love you if he hasn't seen you in 12 years? Just send a card and gift but don't go near it.

Left · 30/04/2024 17:33

Bit strange. I probably wouldn’t go to a wedding of a friend I hadn’t seen for 12 years… Let alone an ex.

Original poster
popgoestheweezle · 30/04/2024 17:52

Thank you, glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's weird.
I can't imagine his or her family being too enthusiastic about me rocking up either. I can imagine my DH & myself being left alone in the corner all evening as we wouldn't know anyone.
I hate attention so having to see all his family again would be my worst nightmare.
I will just tell him that we are busy that evening. Thank you everyone

OP posts:
sunflowrsngunpowdr · 01/05/2024 17:52

Don't go.

Pinkcountrybumpkin · 08/08/2024 12:13

Reading this made me chuckle, I was bridesmaid for my best friend. Her husband and I dated at high school and lost our V plates to each other, but we are grown ups and know what happened 20 years ago is irrelevant to now. Also, my exes parents came to my wedding because whilst their son and I didn’t work out, they were like a second set of parents to me. It can work, we don’t all have to hate our exes, sometimes it just doesn’t work out and as long as everyone is respectful it’s fine.

mrsdavegrohl0 · 11/08/2024 01:33

I went to my ex's wedding and had a great time! I actually helped them get together so they both wanted me there. Unfortunately, I also attended his funeral in 2020, right before Covid hit ☹️

Izzynohopanda · 11/08/2024 01:35

You’re a last minute invite , plus haven’t seen him for years.

You’ve made the right decision in not going. It wouldn’t be right.

Heretotalk1207538 · 11/08/2024 01:36

The answer is no hell no… i didnt even need to read the sotuation. Its weird. For the wife for u…hell no. Move on

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