Just need to vent, so angry / upset

[bakingmummy21]

Backstory, DH currently out of work. Was made redundant last year, found a job but let go after his probation so now job hunting again. We have some savings but not much and can’t live long term on just my income so it’s a lot of stress. Cut down on outgoings etc and can’t make any plans for a summer holiday, but it’s our 10th wedding anniversary this weekend, so we spoke about doing a last minute budget weekend away if the weather looked nice (with the kids, we don’t have anyone who would babysit).
DH has gone and crashed his car in a car park this morning, £900 excess to pay on the insurance. I know it was an accident and I know it’s just bad luck but honestly I’m so bloody frustrated. I now feel like we shouldn’t go away at all this weekend and just save the money.
And I just want him to get a job - he is looking but it feels like it’s slow going.
Just needed to vent really 😢

Gosh this is very bad luck and I’m sorry your break away is fading into the distance.

Sadly we can’t have it all so as much as your frustrations and disappointments are great, get the car fixed because that’s more important than going away however much you want to. Could you afford days out on the train or a bus trip? Think outside the box.

Meanwhile DH needs to get a job doing anything. Absolutely anything he’s capable of. Supermarket delivery driver, bus driver, groundsman, labourer, B&Q staff, (get my drift?) anything to put bread on the table, whilst he’s looking for something he’d like better and is more suitable.

I don’t mean to sound preachy but when I was made redundant back along, I was prepared to do anything, absolutely anything to pay my mortgage. I physically took my CV around businesses local to me and asked about vacancies. In the end the Employment Agency placed me. Phew!

Worked out ok in the end but boy, was I panicking when the 💩 hit the fan.

Yes you now shouldn't go away with this extra unplanned expense, unless all already paid for - cracking on regardless is the way to get into debts. Sorry. Bet your husband is also upset

Can he claim benefits for the time being?

I would go away anyway, unless you really don't have the money. Frustration is bad. I would be so pissed off in your position and I would also be pissed with your DH even though it isn't really his fault. Could you possibly go somewhere just yourself and leave him with the kids?

Why would he need to do that when he can work?

If he can get a part time work cleaning or in retail, then he needs to go for it.

What sort of work does he do? Should it be that difficult to get a job? Sorry things are so difficult.

What sort of car does he gave that has a £900 excess on?! Sounds an expensive one! Can he sell it (once fixed!) and get a run around until he's back in secure work.

As for the weekend are you able to fund a cheap premier inn near the coast? Not exactly the romantic getaway you might have love hoped for but a change of scenery for the weekend might be good.

It is that difficult to get a job. My DP had to find a new job recently. He is well qualified as an accounts assistant and applied for everything in our area that he was qualified for. He spent hours every evening doing more applications. Most don’t reply at all, the first interview got cancelled last minute on him and then the recruiter couldn’t get the lady to reschedule. It took a few months for him to get his first offer and then a second turned up a week later. He handed in his months notice and started the new job 3 weeks ago so it’s about 10 weeks since he last applied for anything and he’s still hearing back now for interviews or rejections… so so slow! Getting Tesco jobs is no quicker or easier.

It is hard and depressing finding work, but he needs to treat the jobsearch like a job and be spending a good few hours on it a day.

I wouldn't be going on the anniversary trip with the extra bill coming.

Personally no I would not go on holiday in this situation, irrelevant of the accident,

Getting tesco jobs is an utter nightmare, same with m and s or b and q. Endless forms on horribly ‘friend,y ‘ websites. You get an automated response that you’ve applied and then you just fall into the wilderness. Soul destroying and so disrespectful somehow.

You are correct @RemarkablyBrightCreature

Yes, it really is that difficult. DH applied for every job with even just a tenuous link to what he does. In 4 months, he received one reply for a job on less than half of his usual salary.

I was made redundant last year - started applying in March, left job in June, started new one in Sept. It can take me 3 months to find a new role. They are quite unique and senior, often 4 stage process, a presentation.

Oh yes, DH had to do a 40 minute presentation as part of his interview. The whole interview was an entire morning, which was preceded by a 60 minute preliminary Teams interview.

For the time being is what the poster wrote , that's what benefits should be used for when ppl are genuinely out of work and looking for a job.

Precisely. Hence the name Jobseekers Allowance.

@RemarkablyBrightCreature
Why should he not claim any benefits he may be entitled to?
He was working, got made redundant. Got another job, but was let go when his probationary period ended.
He's looking for work.
Presumably he's paid into the system, (NI, Income Tax, etc).
Benefits are there as a safety net for people such as him, (even 'though the DWP make it very difficult for people to claim - but that's another matter).
Of course "he can work", but he needs a job!
If people like OP's DH shouldn't be claiming benefits........who should?

That's such reckless advice

I agree with PPs that he needs to pick up something else for the time being.

How do you crash a car in a car park?

If it's just cosmetic damage (scrapes, dents) I'd leave repairs for time being if it's still roadworthy.

He needs to get any job at all to tide you over while he looks for a "proper" job. Why did he fail his probation? His employment history sounds a bit patchy.

Yes it can take that long for more senior or specialist roles but no offence to the OP's husband but in the last year he has been made redundant and failed probation so something is potentially not quite right.

He needs to find a job, any job and start contributing while he continues his job search. He could temp, clean etc.

And I do find it a bit much on these threads when inevitably the question of claiming benefits comes up so quickly. The OP is (rightly) upset that they won't have a summer holiday and won't be able to go away for their anniversary now. These are not exactly essentials. Plenty of people cannot afford holidays even when working full time. The first port of call should be to get a job, any job, not claim benefits.

Not really. We're not put on this earth to grimly exist, life's for living.

@MsLuxLisbon - & making your situation deliberately more perilous is helpful?