Partner ruining every weekend and special occasion

[Gigiy]

Hi mn
Been with my child’s father for 5 years and we have a 2 year old. Common theme in the relationship especially since we had Dc has been him during the slightest argument saying he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He will take a few hours space then come back into the house like normal. I, up until now was greatful him coming back and carried on as normal. But I’ve had enough now. Every weekend without a doubt he ruins with this strop and every special occasion. I’m noticing a pattern, it’s like when things go well he destroys it and says it’s over. During the weeks he’s busy with work, we get along and spend a little time in the evening then soon as he wakes Saturday morning he’s in a mood. I’ve had enough now. Any advice?

Yes. Get rid of him. You are in for a lifetime of misery if you don't.

Either wait til the next time he says, 'I don't want to be with you anymore,' and turn round and say, 'You know what? I don't want to be with you either. Let's call this a day now because I'm absolutely done,' and MEAN it.

Or just sit him down calmly when he's happy and say, 'I have been thinking this over for a while and I don't want to be with you any longer. I don't love you any more. You've managed to kill all the feelings I had for you with your stroppy behaviour, so all there is now is to sort out you seeing the DC'.

What is the housing situation? Owned or rented? And who by?

Take him at his word and don't let him come back

My exh used to threaten to leave when things weren't revolving around him. He ruined my 40th when he huffed and puffed guests hadn't left because he wanted to play his new game. As apparently it wasn't fair the whole day was about me.
He was an exh before I was 41....throwing him out was fucking fantastic..

Yes, next time he says 'I don't want to be with you any more', say 'Good. Ok, bye then!'

What happens if you so 'OK then' and carry on with the day exactly as planned without him?

He will soon learn the tactic is over.

Whether you want to carry on the relationship is another matter.

Sounds like a narcissist. Get rid

Oh good grief what a frightful and unstable environment for you and your child. I hope you realise that this is not good for your long term happiness and mental health or that if your child.

Tell him to get to fuck

Next time he strops off, lock the door and don't let him back in. When he asks why tell him you don't want to be with him anymore. Let's see how he deals with the tables turning.

Are you sure this tactic isn't covering up drugs /drink /affair or even just him wanting to go meet his mates for a few hours?

Seems he uses it to get a few hours out then he's happy. Where is he when he's out?

But yes, get rid.

What a terrible relationship to demonstrate to a child.

Oh imagine having every weekend ruined like that till the rest of your life.

Tell him you totally agree with his decision as you don't want to be with him either next time he pulls this stunt again

I think he’s avoiding the kids, if he has a fight at times which are supposed to be family time occasions and then gets to go off for a few hours then he gets to dodge parenting and you are overly nice because you are grateful he’s back.

Run far and fast. This is just unfair and cruel behaviour from him.

Hand hold please www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/5062206-hand-hold-please

Please read this. My ex was the same. It almost destroyed me - the constant threat to leave over a minor issue/me wanting to discuss my feelings/life stress.

The anxiety which resulted from walking on egg shells to try to avoid him getting upset and leaving was immense.

In the bin

LTB

Just a thought, does he by any chance do lunchtime and/or after work drinks during the week, then sober at the weekends when at home? Does he have the kind of job where drug taking ( cocaine) is rife?
That would explain the weekend change.
But whatever the reason, its good you've found your limit. All you need to do is agree with him when he next throws a strop, and don't let him back in after.

He's not just ruining weekends and special occasions and making you miserable is he?

He's ruining your child's life.

LTB. Tedious way to live your life.

Just tell him that as he isn't sure about being with you he should pack his bags and go.

Thankyou for the replies.
After an another threat of leaving me yesterday and saying he just wants to be alone, I said ok it’s over then.
He hasn’t come back.
No Idea where he his is.
I’m going to have a lovely day with the dc.

Honestly its for the best

its no way to live and long term puts you on egg shells.
Have a nice day with the kids.

Do not let him back into your life. He’ll try to stay away for a while, to see if you break.
don’t let him back.
he’s got massive problems, and this pushing you away and ruining happy times will continue.

I have an ex like this. He ruined just about every birthday, every celebration, by making scenes and saying hurtful things. He got worse when I caught on to him and didn’t react - he just got horrifically worse to make sure I was unhappy.
it turns out when I was happy, it threatened him. He couldn’t stand it.

please don’t give any more time to someone who actively kills your happiness … no matter what he says or promises.

so GLAD you’ve called him on his bullshit and gone to have a good day with your child.

Well done @Gigiy Life way too short for bullshit like that.

Hope you have a lovely day and a lovely life 😊