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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Child teacher not responding to me

59 replies

regretnot · 27/04/2024 16:31

Child started reception in private school.. since she started I’ve been in touch initially quite a bit she also had a fair amount of time off due to being poorly etc.,

I don’t get a good vibe from the teacher toward me specifically.. she interacts verbally with other parents at pick up on occasions..

she doesn’t interact with me and recently hasn’t replied to my email asking for a bit more info regard child’s social/emotional wellbeing - as he doesn’t seem too happy.. the email was general, would be nice to find out further information surround the wellbeing of child this term.. could we touch base in a few weeks to get your thoughts so u can understand better and support more..

should I call a meeting?

I don’t want to badger but at the same time feel like I need to know more what’s going on..

one of the other mums made a joke that the teacher rarely gets back to her, but they are actually on what I would call friendly/chatty terms and I felt this maybe a dig at me!

OP posts:
SomethingIn · 27/04/2024 23:52

Why the fuck are you emailing her teacher all the time

That's not normal and really boring and time consuming for the teacher

Stop harassing the teacher

It's harassment dressed up as being a concerned parent

You're just bored with nothing better to fill your time with

SomethingIn · 27/04/2024 23:55

Most parents with DC at private school do not as PP spend all their time emailing teachers

They have far better things to do and expect the teachers to just crack in and teach

kiwiane · 27/04/2024 23:57

Your child’s teacher has lessons to prepare and marking plus safeguarding issues etc. You have only just had a parents evening - just because you have time for constant emails does not mean that the teacher does as well.
Speak to her if there is a specific issue.

Funchalbynight · 27/04/2024 23:59

You sound like a psychopath. Get over yourself.

Littlefish · 28/04/2024 00:00

regretnot · 27/04/2024 23:25

2nd child

not posted before

parents evening overran and therefore rushed 10mins..

10 minutes is a completely normal length for a parents meeting.

NewName24 · 28/04/2024 00:01

parents evening overran and therefore rushed 10mins

10mins is plenty.
Longer than you would get in most schools even though I understand you feel entitled to more as you are paying

If you have a specific concern, then use @Icanseethebeach 's suggestion on P1.
If you don't, then why e-mail the teacher, especially as you have recently had a conversation with her about your child, at Parents' Evening ?

DaftyLass · 28/04/2024 00:02

If you have a specific concern, it is reasonable to ask to discuss that, although it should have been brought up at the parent night.

HarryPottersScar · 28/04/2024 00:10

Teacher here. The fact that you have posted this in relationships demonstrates that you do not understand the dynamic between parents and teachers.

At best you sound needy, but you are bordering on harassment. You say you were in touch quite a bit. If a parent says that you can bet the teacher feels like you never leave her alone.

10 minutes is way more than enough for a parents evening consultation. If you need to discuss anything further make an appointment.

cinnamonandnutmeg · 28/04/2024 00:22

Didn't you already post this exact thread a few months ago? I remember it

Original poster
regretnot · 28/04/2024 08:55

😂 some of the replies here.. amazing supportive bunch

👋

OP posts:
Blahdymcblahdyface · 28/04/2024 09:02

Are you listening op or are you going to carry on bothering the teacher all the time ?

Sherrystrull · 28/04/2024 09:04

How often did you email the teacher in the autumn term? How often do you email now?

Vault4 · 28/04/2024 09:06

There's definitely been a post on this before, a while back. I remember because I replied about how ridiculous it was!

SheilaFentiman · 28/04/2024 09:14

What did you mean by “so she can understand your child better and support him more”?

Do you have a concern?

Even though it is private school, the teacher still has 20-30 kids to teach, I assume. If your child has an issue - bullying, anxiety about certain subjects, struggling to follow the teaching then absolutely ask to discuss those. But general “emotional well-being” is an odd one.

Crazycrazylady · 28/04/2024 09:23

Honestly it does sound like you've come on too strong to the teacher and she's giving you a wide berth as a result.
If you have a specific question or issue you'd like resolved then email her agaib

It's not the norm to have lots of contact with your child's teacher im afraid unless there are big issues such as bullying

Triy and step back a little if you can because unfortunately teachers talk and you could end up with a reputation so that when you have a actual issue you may be not be taken as seriously because you're seen to be in touch over every little thing.

veryfondoftea · 28/04/2024 12:14

Given that you are paying an insane amount of
money for your DC to attend a private school I don't think you're being unreasonable to expect better communication

Littlefish · 28/04/2024 12:36

'could we touch base in a few weeks to get your thoughts so u can understand better and support more..'

You need to be much more specific about your concerns. What is actually the problem?

usernother · 28/04/2024 12:41

OP. You are 'that' parent. Give it a rest.

Pantaloons99 · 28/04/2024 12:42

I totally understand your fears. School, even private, is not this amazing safe space we are all warped into believing. Sometimes there are big issues that you need addressing but most the time there's not much you can do to influence the day to day situation for your child.

The more I let go, the more I backed off and let my child find their own way in the school system ( yes which is flawed terribly), the better they did, the less stressed they were and in turn me. Just accepting that you can't control things and letting them go can be freeing and can actually help your child.

Smartiepants79 · 28/04/2024 12:43

I do agree that if there is a concern then communication should be better.
my girls are at an independent school. I don’t think I’ve had a single email with either of their teachers this year. I’ve never really met one of them and the other I’ve spoken to briefly on a couple of occasions. The girls are happy and working hard so we’ve no reason to communicate.

NewName24 · 28/04/2024 16:25

regretnot · 28/04/2024 08:55

😂 some of the replies here.. amazing supportive bunch

👋

Are you trying to imply that everyone ought to "support you" just because you started a thread?
Discussions don't really work like that.

You have explained what you see as a problem, and asked people's opinions. People therefore gave their opinions, about the situation that you asked about.

Mamamiaaa · 28/04/2024 20:15

Reading this whilst watching Baby Reindeer 🙈

Original poster
regretnot · 29/04/2024 09:13

@Mamamiaaa 😂👌

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright3 · 29/04/2024 09:26

I have a dc who completely refused to interact with his teacher and was restrained the first couple of times I left so did need to speak to the teacher when he first started ..

however I suspect your child was in nursery - there are no daily handovers .

tbh the teacher not speaking to you is a good thing it means all is well .

My child has SEN’s … I am envious of those parents who just speak to teachers on parents evening .

Any meetings with teachers were business meetings for me .i litterally had a list of points needed covering - but it was complex .

what was said at parents evening . What is your child saying about school ?

Spendonsend · 29/04/2024 09:43

I feel like i missed something in this thread?

I cant quite see harraasment or a psychopath.

OP, teachers dont generally chat much at pick up unless they have to report something so dont read too much into that.

if your child is unhappy, i would book an appointment. Its not actually easy to have a discussion on email.