Old fashioned heartbreak

[lollipoppp]

Please hit me with all your positive stories of how you got over the heartbreak you never thought you'd get over.

I am struggling really, really bad.

Yep I'm the same. It's hard because I work with mine so constantly hearing his name/seeing group emails from him etc. It's just awful.

Radio silence from him, I couldn't bring myself to keep him blocked. He just reads all my messages and ignores them so I've not sent anymore.

I often wonder if he's struggling as much as me. I highly doubt he is. It almost feels like I'm out of sight out of mind for him now. Roll on 6 months time when we should hopefully be healed!

Absolute cold turkey. Don't call, message, check his social media or badger mutual friends for news about him. Like pulling off a plaster - absolute and brutal is easier in the longer term.

Make a list of goals for the rest of the year - places you want to go to, activities you want to try, jobs you want to tick off. Give yourself a focus and a reason to look forward. And record the little wins, successfully getting through a week, a month etc without him. Celebrate them.

Exercise. Honestly it's a cliche but it helps.

Surround yourself with people who love.

Ah, just seen you work together. That must make it super tough, Op....

@TeamPolin yep, it's a bitch. Otherwise it is total no contact, he doesn't have social media anyway so that's fine. Very hard at work, even if I leave I have a 3 months notice period and I've got to actually find something first, and I don't want to make a knee jerk reaction.

Good idea about celebrating the little wins - I suppose today is another day of no contact so I can be proud of that. It literally is hour by hour at the minute, it seems to be getting worse not better. I can feel my eyes welling up now!

Hour by hour is about right. Trying to keep a smile plastered on my face is such a fucking tiresome struggle.

I could do with a weekend alone somewhere so I can cry and scream at the ocean and write truly shitty embarrassing poetry. If only I thought that would get it out of my system...

I could really do with some support please? I’m 48 hours on after a 4.5 year relationship, terrible for past 2 years and I finally ended it. I moved job and county to be with him, my whole support system is 45 miles away and I feel very lonely, luckily I moved out a few months ago but being on my own makes me feel even more isolated.
Im swinging between, anger, grief and hopelessness, haven’t got out of bed for two days, I know it’s most definitely for the best but I feel bereft, can’t believe I’ll never see him again 😔

Hi , I destroyed all photos , I have to be honest , I only got over it when I met someone else .

Hi lovely, sorry I don't come on here as often now.

I remember that feeling too well. I'm a couple months down the line now and I'm still heartbroken but the pain definitely eases, I promise you. Try not to think too far into the future, take it one day at a time, hour by hour, minute by minute if you need to. Have you eaten? Please keep checking in and I'll check this board more often as everyone was so supportive for me.

I promise you it does get easier xx

How’s everyone doing? I’m now just over 4 weeks, the overwhelming grief has hit me hard, I also feel ridiculously guilty? Our relationship breakdown was definitely a two way street but my guilt is overwhelming, I sent him a card saying how sorry I was…even though it’s not all my fault 🤯🤯. His mental health was on the decline for the past 18 months and it came to a head when we split, I’m scared he may have done something stupid and I wanted to take some of the blame off him, does that make sense? When we split he was on sick leave from work due to his problems, we both work in similar roles and I can see from looking at a shared teams page that he’s still not back at work, I think that triggered me wanting to reach out, I know he’s still not well. It’s all I think about, my DC are grown and live away from home and I am finding no pleasure in my work anymore, I a mess to be honest. Does anyone have any words of wisdom and even a chink of positivity for me 🙏🏻❤️

@ChookaPooka Oh I'm so sorry. Yes it makes sense. Just because relationships didn't work out doesn't mean a switch just goes and you don't care about them anymore. Did he respond to you?

I still struggle but I haven't gone as no contact as I should have done. Mine reached out this week and seemed to open up and say he still loves me, but wishes he didn't. He said there's no going back and he's sorry he shouldn't have told me he still loves me because it isn't fair. We want different things in life. It's made things 10x harder so I am glad you've resurrected this thread, but I'm sorry you're struggling.

I just keep thinking we've gone through break ups before, we can do it again, and the wise women on this thread have proven that. Look after yourself x

Thankyou so much for replying.

Oh that’s really difficult for you as no clean break, your emotions must be all over the place 💕 For what it’s worth I really believe that you’ve made the right decision to split, as I known only too well, things are problems/non negotiables at the beginning don’t go away 💕

No I haven’t heard anything, I wrote that I wouldn’t reach out again and I hope he could take the note as it was intended. It’s absolute hell, I have been through the breakdown of my 15 year marriage to the father of my children and I KNOW that that was worse but this grief is engulfing me.

I’m going through the most painful break up I’ve ever had (including two 9 year relationships) and the relationship wasn’t even 4 months long! But we then extended it with another couple of months of not letting go and trying to be friends. Have been no contact now for 17 days and I’ve deleted his number/unfriended on Instagram today. I know it’s for the best but yeah, the pain is unreal.

Oh sending you 💕💕

The only thing that’s getting me through is reading other people situations, I’m keeping my head down in real life, trying very hard not to share too much as I get upset when I speak about it. We’ll get there 💪🏻💪🏻

Hey @lollipoppp and everybody else, how are things with you? Have things got any better for you?

Just wanted to see how everyone was doing? I'm currently going through an awful break up. We have a 3 yr old so I can't go no contact. I'm breaking inside and he seems totally fine. It was bad for the last year but I still love him dearly.