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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I reply to this….?

18 replies

Lilllypad11 · 19/04/2024 18:32

I like this guy, I’d been on some dates with him. Last week he went on holiday so understandably we couldn’t meet up, which was fine by me but said “let’s arrange something for the week I’m back”. He then texted me on Monday at 5 to ask if I was free this week, I replied 3 hours later at 8pm and said I can do tomorrow or Thursday. He then said to me at approx 6 pm Monday “ah damn, sorry I was out like a light by then or I would have said tonight but I’m in my work stuff and I’ve not got a change of clothes with me either” (works in a medical setting as a physio) and I took this as a no for tonight anyway, he then just asked me how my day was going at work.

Now, I’m really struggling emotionally at the moment anyway , and I’m a bit confused. I feel there’s mixed messages here, he didn’t suggest an alternative date and me being precious got a bit offended by that. In the end I did text back saying “not to worry, are you free any other night this week?” But I feel super frustrated by it all, I’m just at the point where I’ve found him to be a bit inconsistent anyway, do I just have that conversation with him and say sorry this is too much? Idk? But I asked him anyway and said “are you free this week?”

He’s not generally good with responses the original texts were sent on Tuesday and todays Friday and , he replied at 7 am this morning with “I’m so sorry, I kept thinking you didn’t reply to me ffs, I’m not gonna be free now as I’m busy the weekend maybe Sunday but can’t say 100%, how have you been all week? How’s work been? I’m genuinely so sorry!”

I’m stuck? What do I do

OP posts:
ShrubRose · 19/04/2024 18:46

This sounds a bit familiar - wondering if you have posted this before. ?

In any case, it shouldn't be this difficult to set up a date. There's a lot of noise in the system coming from his side, and I would walk away. I don't think there's anything here. If I had to guess, I would say he's met someone else but he's hedging his bets with you. Whatever it is, it's a non-starter.

Mydahliasareshit · 19/04/2024 18:47

Sounds like he loses track of what he's said to which woman at which time.

Zampa · 19/04/2024 18:48

He's either not that into you or as rubbish at communicating as my DH.

Do you want to do all the running? My DH was worth it but it's not for everyone.

category12 · 19/04/2024 18:49

I'd leave it. Sounds like a time waster.

MyUnpopularOpinion · 19/04/2024 18:51

Fuck it off. It sounds like he's got a few women on the go at the same time and he's getting muddled.

BoohooWoohoo · 19/04/2024 18:54

This man sounds familiar.

It’s ok to dump him for being crap at texting and being unavailable in general.

Watchkeys · 19/04/2024 18:55

So make question: would you enjoy an ongoing relationship with someone who communicates like this?

pilates · 19/04/2024 19:02

Just leave it - if he’s interested he will come back and arrange another date.

Olika · 19/04/2024 19:48

Too complicated. Just forget him. If he really wanted to meet you he would make it happen.

AtrociousCircumstance · 19/04/2024 19:49

Just reply “No worries!” And bin him.

samestyle · 19/04/2024 19:53

I don't think he's interested, he would make sure to have date scheduled if he was. He's making excuses and being wishy washy never a good sign.

twentysevendresses · 19/04/2024 19:55

I'd bin him off...he's got several on the go and he can't keep track of what he's said to which one of you!

Howbizarre22 · 19/04/2024 19:56

Bin him off. If a man is interested you will be 💯 clear on that.

Theorangejuice · 19/04/2024 19:57

This is familiar because you posted it before. The same words.

Is it best I just move on from this? - www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5051779-is-it-best-i-just-move-on-from-this

Ellie525 · 19/04/2024 19:59

Agree hes got several on the go sorry... throw him back 💕

littlebitstuck2024 · 19/04/2024 20:05

"Aww don't worry about it, I know you're really busy and it can't be helped. You're lovely but I don't think it would work out between us. I want someone who has more time for me. I wish you the best of luck. Take care"

Wait til he's read it then block him. It's a nice message that enforces your boundaries. He's clearly giving you the run around. Bin him off. You deserve someone who texts you back in a timely manner and makes time for you. I'd word the message in a more robust manner but I think the message I've suggested kills him with kindness.

Francisflute · 19/04/2024 20:08

You want someone enthusiastic, even if he can only fit in a coffee or plan something ahead after getting back from holiday. I'd just reply 'no worries'. If he comes back with an actual suggestion, fine, but these yeah maybe, sorry, I'm a bit busy, half arsed things never lead anywhere in my experience of dating. The ones that do, you make time for each other because you really want to.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 19/04/2024 20:20

I had something similar a couple of months back.

I didn't bother following up and lm glad because he posted on sm with a new gf he's been with for a while. Agree he's hedging his bets.

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