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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

TOXIC PARENT - just need some kind words as I am thoroughly jangled by this late night phone call......

30 replies

Fullmoonfiend · 31/03/2008 10:37

Ok, so my birth father and I have been estranged for years. The last contact I had was when he rang to tell me my grandma had died 3 yers ago. The phone call ended as usual with his sneering and sniping at me, as usual.
This is a pattern. He persuades me taht we should try again, I agree and when he gets bored of trying to maintain any normal sort of relationship, he kicks me away.
Then a couple of years later, he gets drunk maudlin and rings me, yadayada.

I should explain there was never one ''issue'' or incident, just a lifetime of emotional abuse for my mother, my half brother and sister and me. He is an emotionally cold-fish.

My children are 10 and 8 and he has never met either of them, so great is his disinterest in me and mine.

So last night his wife rang us at 11pm (i was asleep) and had a hugely rambling (and tipsy) mostly one-sided convo with dh saying ''this has gone on too long''. They have apparently moved to Spain (The 2nd time they have moved without telling me).
Now, I've just 'healed' myself after the last rift.
She wants to ring me again to talk.

I inherently feel that my scabs are healing over and do not wish to lay myself open for more IFKWIM. what do I do?

I once started a thread for fellow sufferers of toxic parents on how we will feel when they die. So I know there are scores of you out there who might have an inkling of how jangled and upset I am at this call from the blue.

OP posts:
RubberDuck · 31/03/2008 10:39
  1. Invest in a caller-ID/answerphone system.
  2. If you don't recognise the number, let the answerphone pick up.
  3. Don't call them back.

Think you're spot on about picking open the scabs - it's not worth it. Don't let them call the shots.

Fullmoonfiend · 31/03/2008 10:40

oh rubberduck, my first thought this morning was ''change the phone number'' [tearful grin]

OP posts:
RubberDuck · 31/03/2008 10:42

That too

Honestly - it sounds as if they can't be arsed with much effort so if you only put a slight hurdle between them being able to contact you then I would lay good money on them not bothering to make any more effort.

Cut them off. They're not family. Family are those that love, nurture and make you stronger.

snowleopard · 31/03/2008 10:44

You poor thing. I don't see my dad at all and luckily it's so far gone that I now don't get calls like this - but I've been through that stage.

Remember that it is your choice not to see him and your first duty is to yourself, your own family, your feelings and your sanity. Just because someone puts pressure on you, doesn't mean you owe them anything. In fact the manipulation, playing people off against each other etc that my dad specialises in was one of the things that made me just decide I wasn't having anything to do with him. (The "sneering and sniping" you mention and long-term emotional abuse are all very familiar to me btw!)

Try to think of this call like a sales call or a needy stranger on the bus bending your ear. It's not your problem. Check the number and don't answer the calls. If you have to deal with her again, say "I'm sorry, I don't want to." No excuse needed.

RubberDuck · 31/03/2008 10:45

"It's not your problem"

Spot on, spot on.

RubberDuck · 31/03/2008 10:45

(spot on is obviously my phrase of the day, sigh)

LyraSilvertongue · 31/03/2008 10:46

Cut him out of your life. Tell him you don't want anything to do with him and change your number. You're getting absolutely nothing out of the relationship except more heartache. You don't need him in your life at all.
I don't have experience of this myself but I think you'll feel relieved when he can no longer contact you and open up old wounds just when you've started to feel better.

MrsMacaroon · 31/03/2008 10:49

if you get nothing positive from a relationship , I see little point in continuing out of a sense of obligation...to re-start a relationship you would have to accept that he won't change. If putting up with his shit is too much of a compromise for you and would cause you emotional pain and suffering- what would be the point? He also doesn't know your DC so you're not tied to him (unfortunately that's the only reason I still see my mum- don't see father at all).

Fullmoonfiend · 31/03/2008 10:53

you are all spot on

The problem is I keep trying to cut him out of our lives - I have had nothing positive, emotionally or practically for decades. But he (or his wife - who has played a small part in it too) keep doing this sort of thing. I'll be Ok, in a tub-thumping sort of way....

OP posts:
Fullmoonfiend · 31/03/2008 11:01

It's the filial guilt thing I alsways struggle with. Rational side says ''be selfish, protect myself and my family'' but the emotional side gets carried away on a small but insistant undercurrent of: ''water under the bridge''

OP posts:
RubberDuck · 31/03/2008 11:21

I have that song stuck in my head now

Just mentally picture yourself as a weeble

snowleopard · 31/03/2008 11:22

You're a parent though - imagine the parental guilt if you had behaved like this! And yet there's no sign of that is there? He (and she) have forfeited the right to your loyalty and filial duty.

You know, my dad could still be in my life and be in his grandchild's life - if he was a nice person who could be expected to behave decently and show some respect. He isn't. So he loses out. Yes I sound hard, but that's because he left me no choice, and that's how I've had to be - and he certainly has had a good old whine and tried to pull the guilt strings about how nobody loves him, we are all middle-class bitches who've ejected him from our lives, poor him. Er, no, we endured years of emotional, mental and other abuse until we could take no more. It's his own lookout.

snowleopard · 31/03/2008 11:28

Also, bear in mind that the fact that this is your father may have something to do with your feelings of guilt and needing to please and geting emotionally sucked in - I am like that too unless I fight it. I suspect because I wasn't show respect and I wasn't taught to respect myself as a child, and I was constantly the victim of manipulative behaviour from both parents actually - and you get used to that pushing your buttons. it's a long hard road to unlearn all that. I think I have really and truly shaken my dad off emotionally, but I'm still very susceptible to manipulativeness and neediness in general.

On a more immediate level, have a cup of tea and some chocolate and be proud that you aren't like this as a parent. You've got away from him, you don't have to see him - that's a good thing

Fullmoonfiend · 31/03/2008 11:32

thanks snowleaopard...I have chain smoked azillion fags since this morning when I found out...Tea and chocolate would be better.

OP posts:
RubberDuck · 31/03/2008 11:34

Oooo yes - have a really good vent in a letter, get it all out of your system and then burn it don't send it.

Very cathartic.

Tatties · 31/03/2008 12:48

FMF

I instinctively feel that you shouldn't be wasting time and energy on people who drain you emotionally. But it must be so hard for you when it is your father. Agree with what the others have said though, where is his sense of parental responsibility?

BuckBuckMcFate · 31/03/2008 13:08

Agreeing with everyone who is saying it's not your problem.

I no longer have any contact with my Dad. I have tried and it all goes ok as long as it is kept on a very superficial level and I don't dare to challenege him on any of his views on past events - it was all my fault, he never did anything wrong, I took mums side over him, blah, blah, blah.

I can never make him understand that he was the grown up in our relationship when it all went wrong and I was the child.

I struggled for 10 years with this on/off relationship with him. Things got better for me when I decided to accept that he was never going to be the father that I wanted. He fell out with his dad when he was younger and I get annoyed that he didn't learn from this.

I allowed myself the time to mourn the lost relationship with him and it is much easier now.

I do get maudlin when I've had a drink that I don't want this to be a cycle that is repeated with my DD and her father. The only thing i say to DP about his relationship with DD is that I feel the most important thing he can do as her Dad is to always let her know that she is number one to him and that he gives her unconditional love and proves this to her through his behaviour, as I never had this feeling from my Dad.

Be strong fmf. You don't need him in your life. You have made your own family and I'm sure you are doing everything to make sure that you have a great relationship with your DC.

maisemor · 31/03/2008 13:22

Can you change your number to an unlisted number?

BBBee · 31/03/2008 13:38

I think you have had really good advice on here - far better than I could offer.

Just I know you and I know you are completely lovely and it is only because you are so nice that you even entertain the thought of forgiving such awful behaviour.

lullabyloo · 31/03/2008 14:15

Oh lovely one
Big hugs
I so understand where you are coming from
I am here if you want to talk or mail etc xxx

TooTicky · 31/03/2008 17:13

Fmf, the guilt thing is shit. Throw it away - you don't need it. If you get nothing positive from him then just cut off. You are so lovely, you deserve better and he certainly doesn't deserve you.
{{hug}}
xxxxxxx

KiloFoxtrotCharlie · 31/03/2008 17:17

Any parent who behaves like this forfeits their rights.

UnderRated · 31/03/2008 18:18

FMF, how awful.

You sound very strong and you obviously have had time to think about the pattern and how it affects you.

You are right though - they don't need to be your problem. If he wants a relationship with you, he could write, send birthday cards, something for the children perhaps a little bit at a time to show he is thinking of you all in a nice fatherly way and see what happens. But barging back in to your life when you know he will cause upset and leave isn't acceptable. Parents don't do that, surely?

FrannyandZooey · 31/03/2008 18:26

If you have tried in the past and it does not work, then you are not missing out on anything except the prospect of more pain

I think you need to draw a line under this

very sorry to hear about it all

Fullmoonfiend · 31/03/2008 20:11

thank you all for your kindness. I cried a little in recognition of some of your posts.

I am steeled to not answer the phone tonight.
DH said the wife told him ''He's 67 you know.''
Yes well, he's never going to change, is he?

OP posts: