Ok, so my birth father and I have been estranged for years. The last contact I had was when he rang to tell me my grandma had died 3 yers ago. The phone call ended as usual with his sneering and sniping at me, as usual.
This is a pattern. He persuades me taht we should try again, I agree and when he gets bored of trying to maintain any normal sort of relationship, he kicks me away.
Then a couple of years later, he gets drunk maudlin and rings me, yadayada.
I should explain there was never one ''issue'' or incident, just a lifetime of emotional abuse for my mother, my half brother and sister and me. He is an emotionally cold-fish.
My children are 10 and 8 and he has never met either of them, so great is his disinterest in me and mine.
So last night his wife rang us at 11pm (i was asleep) and had a hugely rambling (and tipsy) mostly one-sided convo with dh saying ''this has gone on too long''. They have apparently moved to Spain (The 2nd time they have moved without telling me).
Now, I've just 'healed' myself after the last rift.
She wants to ring me again to talk.
I inherently feel that my scabs are healing over and do not wish to lay myself open for more IFKWIM. what do I do?
I once started a thread for fellow sufferers of toxic parents on how we will feel when they die. So I know there are scores of you out there who might have an inkling of how jangled and upset I am at this call from the blue.