Is this wrong?

[Cougar101]

43 year old female, don't look my age, have been told I'm quite pretty, I'm also very young at heart for my age. Have been chatting to a 22 year old guy online with potential plans to meet up.
He seems very mature and not at all sexual or sleazy, have done a video call already.
Just want to know is this totally wrong?.
I don't notice the age difference when we are texting or chatting.
But I'm aware I could easily be his mother.

Yes, how old did you tell him you are ?
Are you making out you’re much younger , therefore deceiving him ?

If you are both honest, I don't see the harm in 2-3 dates to see.

Age isn't everything.

Good luck!

Although it's very rare , it can work , look at Aaron Taylor Johnson and his wife.

Do you realise that the fact that most people can think of literally this one example of a similar male-female age gap working tends to substantially undermine your case rather than strengthen it?

ETA: There is also a widespread body of opinion that Sam Taylor Johnson, who was in a far more powerful position than Aaron at the time, is a total creep for going for an 18-year-old who she was directing, and their relationship is pretty icky.

if you are looking for a fling it’s ok. Men this age are attracted to older women only for sex though. Sometimes It may blossom to a relationship but usually it has an end date.
AFM - I have never been attracted to such a young man. See them in a very protective way. I am 46 and couldn’t do below 40. Even that feels too young for me. But it’s down to personal taste.

@Cougar101 you could be feeling very silly very soon. Please disregard his age and have a mature getting to know eachother and see if it's not just lust. Be gentle with him... Good luck though 🙂

My friend met his now wife when he was in his early twenties and she is twenty odd years older than he is. She's the best thing that happened to him, and they're still together thirty years later.

This. Be very careful.

I really struggle to see what common ground you would have.
Even if it's not going to be a long term relationship there has to be sone attraction?

22...my son is 22.
No.

It’s a no from me. At 30 I had a travel fling with a 22 yo and he was lovely but even at 30 I did feel a bit weird about it, despite us getting on really well. With that though it was only ever going to be a temporary thing.

I'm 43 and have a 24 year old. No, just no.

Fyi , he does know my age, he knew this before we started chatting and he initiated the chat

I think there’s quite a difference between 20 and 40. Can you imagine hanging out with his friends, him hanging out with yours? I’m around your age and most of my friends have young children or babies.

You say you have children, would they feel uncomfortable about this? My friend’s dad has starting going out with someone our age and she finds it very uncomfortable.

Can you imagine going out with his friends for a drink or for a meal? It would be like you were their mum.

Can you imagine him coming out with you and your friends? It would be like somebody had brought their son along.

How long do you think your friends would put up with that?

How long do you think his friends would put up with it?

Financially, I think you would come out this much worse off as well. You'd be paying for him all the time and it would be like having a child with you.

My daughter is 21 so absolutely no way for me. Gives me the ick thinking about it.

You do realise that the Taylor Johnson marriage is grooming situation. How could you possibly not understand that that man was groomed, thats why the relationship has lasted - he doesnt know anything else. He was 18, she was his boss.

The fact you see that relationship as successful is actually concerning. You being 'young at heart' is what all older people who are after younger partners say! It's a cliche!

In mumsnet world you will be judged as a kiddie fiddler and should be in jail, never to see the light of day again.
In the real world, why not enjoy a fling with someone who is well over the age of consent, with plenty of stamina, and unlikely to want a serious relationship.
He will probably brag to his mates that he's pulled an older woman.
Seriously, take no notice of the morality police, its nobody else's business

I mean, I wouldn't but you're both consenting adults so I guess in theory it's ok. A bit weird for me (although I'm old enough to be Harry Styles' mum and I wouldn't turn him away!) but as long as it's just a bit of fun then each to their own.
I'd be more worried that it's a bucket list kind of joke with his mates and he'll drop you like a hot potato once he gets a shag.

I am the same age a you and I would find it weird even if it is for a fling. I won’t consider anyone under 30 even for casual dating.

No, it’s not wrong because nobody else is involved. It is unusual. Keep in control of the situation, don’t let emotions rule your head (or your purse) and don’t expect long term. Focus on passion.

Have fun and have condoms!

Been in this situation. Absolutely agree

I would just assume it’s a sex thing - which is fine clearly. I don’t think I’ve met a man that age that I would be remotely interested in talking to beyond superficial subjects but you never know.

I would ignore anyone talking about their 22 year old sons because they’re clearly not impartial.

Well if you want to have some fun with him then why not.

OP I don't think the question is if this is wrong, but instead you need to be asking yourself - what could YOU want / gain from this? Because possible sexual fling is the only thing that can be gained, with high risk of a messy outcome.
Regardless of who is initiating and driving the chatting, this can never be an equal partnership or a meaningful relationship.

Is he looking for a mother figure?

Why waste your time? It's a non starter from the off.

Just yuck 🤮