Why do men in relationships follow random women on social media?

[JellyRainbows]

Found out DH has been following random attractive women on Instagram and Twitter. I’m not talking big accounts, but just attractive women posting their night out photos, there are also some posting naked selfies. Some have barely any followers, so I don’t know how he found them.

I don’t understand why, why the need to follow them? Is there a further motive to DM them? Get there attention? Surely he could just look and move on. Why follow them?

I don’t know if he has dm’d any, as he deleted both apps and accounts when I told him I had found them.

I imagine he fancies them and get a vicarious thrill following & looking at attractive women,
maybe he fantasies they’ll meet or something will arise?
Sorry you’re going through this , I hope you have some RL support

Because he wants regular updates obviously.

I'm not trying to be harsh but why else? Why does anyone 'follow' anyone on social media? Because they're interested in their content.

Because he is a skeez?

I’d lose all respect for my husband if I discovered him doing this and vice versa I imagine.

Because they are sleazy! Very simple.

They could be wank material, but because of how available hardcore porn is, they might be who he's interested in on OnlyFans, or they're in-the-flesh prostitutes and he's bookmarking them.

Because they’re sleazy old creeps kidding themselves that these women would look at them twice

I suppose to get their rocks off in one way or another. It is random and if there's no other discernable reason that you'd be aware of like he's majorly into blush applying techniques and therefore follows a ton of beauty influencers then the odds are he probably fancies the women and may or may not fantasize about them. It's easier to follow them than remember their names especially if they're quite obscure random profiles. You'd do well to remember that a lot of those profiles aren't necessarily what they seem - anyone anywhere with a smartphone can present themselves to the world as a young beautiful globe-trotter. What would concern me about this is less his perving over women on Instagram and whether he'd be the type to get sucked in by one of these profiles professing to want a relationship but may need a £50 kickstarter.

Because they find them attractive.

Because he's a sleaze, OP.

So he can fantasise he is better looking and stands a chance!!

I don't understand why single men follow sexy Insta accounts either. Obviously I get why they look at them, they find the women attractive - who cares. But following (and worse, liking) in public is just... skeevy. No one wants to see you showing off your sexual tastes. Put it away.

When you had the conversation with him and he deleted the apps and accounts did you ask him why? I would have been asking and wanting to know from him why he felt he needed to follow these women. Personally I would have felt totally disrespected and unloved in my relationship if my partner did this and I would have wanted a discussion with him about how he viewed me and why he needed other people in our relationship.

This.

Why? … for most I would imagine it’s simply wank material for them.

The following is for a bookmark and to see any updates.

This gives me the ick! I have dated two guys who do this! One guy followed hundreds of women and regularly liked their pictures and I never took him seriously and I ended it. I felt he needed validation from loads of other women and that’s sad! The second guy followed a couple of random women's profiles and every now and then he liked their pictures! I called him out on it and told him I didn’t like it! To me when you like a women’s picture you’re telling her you find her attractive and this makes me dislike the guy! Men have done it to me! They like your pictures then slide in you DMs! Small messages and hearts to just test the water! Call him out on it and tell him how you feel. If it doesn’t feel ok don’t put up with it! I know some couples who don’t care! They like and follow random people all the time. Good for them, it’s not for me

Thanks all. It’s such a gross and disrespectful habit he has had going on. I told him exactly what I thought of it.

Its very hard to forgive 🙁

Men generally like looking at attractive women.

If they're going to do it they should do it more discreetly than your husband did, to avoid these sort of issues.

Some clearly don't get the public nature of social media and are in a bit of a bubble where they don't appreciate that other people can see their activity. The savvier ones are more discreet to save theirs and anyone else's embarrassment.

Well it came to light recently that my ex was on a fb site called guinness community which is basically men posting pics of their other halves with their tits out with a pint in front so basically men perving over other mens girlfriends tits hanging out and that in itself revolted me so i assume same reason. Perving. I cannot make sense of it myself.

So you think the answer is they should just be more sneaky?

How about having some respect and not seek out random women online instead when in a relationship?

This, Why have to search for naked selfies when you can get regular updates of naked selfies?

Yes they certainly message women unsolicited. It's not always just looking. Men tend to stop doing it the moment you conspicuously look and follow other men. They are then outraged so you will have to return fire. Otherwise you get dribble about men being visual creatures and apparently women don't need that sort of thing.

This.

Because he likes looking at them. Simple as that. I follow James Norton on all social media, not because of his acting skills or his personality but because I like looking at him. I find his face and body attractive. I don't think there's anything wrong with it personally but obviously some people would disagree with me.

How about having some respect and not seek out random women online instead when in a relationship?

I agree with this. I am a man. I don't connect with anyone on social media who I don't actually know, with the exception of my dog training instagram account. This is entirely connected to other dogs. Periodically I miss one and instagram suggests 'someone I might know', however I don't add those people as a) it isn't related to dog training, and b) why would I? I have no interest in being connected to random women I don't know regardless of how they present themselves. Also, it is disrespectful to my wife. It does bemuse me how the instagram suggestion thingy works though as it does suggest some strange accounts. I guess they pay for it or something.

What is the world coming to?

Absolutely right.

Very disrespectful to a partner. Nice to see a man come on here and not attempt to defend and patronise on this.