Messed up at work

[moonled]

Hi, thanks to anyone who reads this. I just need to put it out there because these things really bother me.
There's someone at work who I really like. We spoke properly for the first time a few weeks ago and they seemed really happy about it. A couple of days afterwards we saw each other again, smiled and just looked into each others eyes for some time. It was really nice but sort of unusual to me. I was going away for a few days and at the end of a shift said good night to them. They seemed really touched by this and replied using a voice they never use with anyone else at work. But lately, I've just kept missing opportunities to speak to them and at one point last week, I let my social anxiousness get the better of me as they said 'hi' when waiting for the lift and I said hi back- really friendly, nice smile but I wasn't expecting to see them and just kept walking. It really bothered me for the next few days and I got a sense that they were possibly offended (but you never know what people are thinking). So I sent them this message:
I really want to apologise about the other day- I was hoping to in person but wasn’t sure when I would get the opportunity again. I’ve got in to a bad habit of getting too fixed on whatever job I’m doing, just saying ‘hi’ and then disappearing. It honestly isn’t any kind of negative refection on you, I’m not the best at communicating sometimes and it’s just me getting caught up in work when I should slow down. I regret it so much and I’m so sorry about how it must look. It meant a lot to actually talk to you properly the other week, you’re obviously a great person and I hate the idea of offending you in any way. I hope you can forgive me and please know this won’t happen again. I’m really sorry.

I'm not a weird person who makes people uncomfortable but now I'm worried that it was just too much - I have no one to run this by right now and keep running over this whole thing in my head- I always over think things. Does anyone have any thoughts? Thank you

'I always overthink things'

Understatement of the century.

Op you need to take a chill pill. That text was a but much, you could have just made a point of being extra chatty next time you see them and like 'sorry I didn't get a chance to talk the other day I was rushed off my feet'.

Now you know how to handle it in future though.

Maybe When you see them next you could be like 'sorry did I info dump with that text? Haha I'm such a chronic overthinker!'. Laugh it off. People like people who can have a laugh about their quirks.

I just want to know more about this voice that they never use for anyone else at work.
Is is like a Cookie Monster voice?

It seems a bit much to me to be honest, it's not like you blanked them. I also agree that it sounds like you are overthinking all of this massively. What was it that made you think they were offended? Did they say something, give a look?

haha, no it was just really lovely.

And just to be clear...is this potential romantic relationship territory, or just someone you think you could become good friends with?

🤣 I had Daffy Duck's voice in my head.

yeah, over thinking- on the day I did feeling like they had maybe been offended.

Did you seriously send that text?! Christ alive.

romantic potentially

I'm crossing my fingers for you, but that's a lot for him to digest!

I'm cringing for you OP, that text was unnecessary.

I'd echo what other OPs have said and laugh it off the next time you see them and then be upfront and ask to go for a coffee/drink/walk. You'll get your answer then.

I think I'd avoid romance with him now because you've kinda made it obvious you're a bit vulnerable atm. And if he's dodgy then he might exploit that.

The eye contact thing was giving me 'oh he might be a narcissist sizing her up' tbh. Especially as your gut even told you it was a bit weird (And he seemed offended that you didn't take time out to chat whist you were busy with work). Just a possibility. Maybe he's just bad at flirting lol.

I just think it sounds like maybe you should keep this a friend thing. For now. And work on your confidence more.

I’m sorry OP but that is quite strange and that would make me personally feel very uncomfortable

Yeah, I'm not good at this, certainly regret it.

The thing is with crushes is we've likely had more time liking them than they have us, and so maybe when we pick up the nerve to start chatting to them, things can be un-even feelings wise even if they like us back.

Like, you're treating them as someone you absolutely adore who may be offended that you weren't warm enough. But to them...you're just a person they've had one chat with. Even if they found you cute.

Crushes can make us all a bit mad and carried away. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a shake.

That message was OTT but we all say and do the wrong thing some time, OP. You can’t put back time but I find looking for the lesson helps take some of the sting out. It feels like you’re trying to force this. Just let things unfold. Don’t push the river.

I know! I’m laughing. It’s nuts x

I've just seen that they actually sent a really nice reply saying thanks for the message, no need to apologise, they completely understand and not to worry about it.

Phew :)

There you go then.
Travesty averted.

I'd just go 'haha, phew, I'm such an over thinker (if that wasn't obvious!)'. And leave it at that. Let him chase if he's interested. But maybe keep it just mates for now.

I'm guessing OP is male, message recipient is female

nope.

Not your finest hour op, but give yourself a break and laugh it off. Humour covers many cringey moments in my experience

Try not to read so much into 'looks' and 'tones of voice' OP, there's a chance you are seeing things that aren't there and that the other person is not on the same page at all.

Alao, definitely try and hold back on such long intense follow up texts. Sounds like your colleague took it really well but many people, on receiving such a text, would try and avoid any further contact.

You really need to chill the fuck pit, OP.

You're coming across as a bit clumsily worded and wayyyy too much after that message.

No harm done

Take a deep breath:)