I’ve been with my boyfriend now for almost a year. He told me a few months ago that he slept with someone else at the beginning of his 5 year relationship with his ex girlfriend and didn’t tell her. I asked outright if he had cheated as my ex partner had cheated on me and he told me this and said he didn’t want to lie to me.
he went on to propose to his ex around 2 years later and they were set to marry but they broke up before that. He never told her about the cheating. The woman he cheated with was someone he worked with at the time and they spent one night together however they did remain in sporadic contact over the years. I told him outright that if he felt as guilty as he said he did then why did he not tell his girlfriend and why did he keep in touch with the OW? He said it wasn’t much contact but she was still popping up every now and again during the start of our relationship until I asked him to delete her, maybe I shouldn’t but the last message she sent him was one asking if he was “still romancing?” after he told her he was with someone new (me).
his explanation for this is that she showed him attention that night and he was very drunk and things weren’t good at home (but he went on to get engaged and have another 4 years with his partner).
do you feel that people can change or would this put you off someone?
his defence to me is that he didn’t have to tell me and that only 1 other friend knew about this, and I guess he didn’t have to tell me but I did ask because I wanted to know.