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Original poster

Do you know your 'boyfriend's' income?

56 replies

GreigeO · 03/04/2024 22:17

Cause I don't.

Boyfriend in scare quotes as we're in our 50's

We've been seeing each other 5 years, but don't live together as each have 50/50 childcare with our ex's.

He knows what I earn cos I am an open book, but I don't know what he earns. It's been so long now it would feel like prying to ask. I know its a lot more than I'm on - maybe even by 10x.

Just curious if that's unusual, it feels it to me.

OP posts:
opentoadvice88 · 06/04/2024 21:11

Yes, but only when we started looking at buying together otherwise it’s not really important to know specifics.

CheekyHobson · 07/04/2024 01:28

I know all his finances and he knows mine. We do plan to live together one day, and he knows my ex was financially abusive/hid money throughout our relationship, so it was important to him to show me he's not like that.

BoxOfCats · 07/04/2024 03:05

If you're in a long term relationship, I find it odd that you can be so intimate with someone and not know at least the basics of each others' financial situation. Why is it such a secret?

ladykale · 07/04/2024 03:35

CormorantStrikesBack · 05/04/2024 11:50

I don't even know what dh earns and we own a house together and have dc. Been married 25 years and he has always refused to tell me. When we bought the house he was actually unemployed so we got it just on my wage. I know he's a higher rate tax earner as the child benefit got stopped at one point when dc were little. But it works both ways, I've had a few promotions since then and haven't told him what I earn, though he could google if he wanted to as my job the wages are public record.

How do you budget / plan for future with no visibility of household income?

grinandslothit · 07/04/2024 03:53

I've always known for both of my husband and the couple of boyfriends I dated before I got married. I think they just like bragging to me LOL.

I guess if you're living together a marriage what you want to know so you can plan a budget and split cost as well savings and Investments?

Trez1510 · 07/04/2024 05:59

I've always known. Like @grinandslothit perhaps I've only ever been involved with braggarts? OTOH very few people have ever been privy to the details of my income - either they've never asked or they've asked in a way that raised a red flag.

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