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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Family members forged my name on documents to transfer ownership to sibling

54 replies

AnonforThis123 · 02/04/2024 09:35

As the title says, I found out yesterday that my DM and DS forged my name on legal documents to transfer ownership of my car to DS. I'm wondering how others would handle this on a personal level. For context, there has always been a scapegoat/golden child dynamic in my family and DM has a history of impersonating me and forging my signature, but this is the first time there is a paper trail. DS is fully on board with this dynamic and doesn't treat me with even the most basic amount of respect. We are both in our late 30s.

A few years ago I unexpectedly moved to the UK from my home country for a new job. I thought it would be easier to sell my car if it was fully paid off so I left it in my parents' garage and made the last few payments after moving. It was agreed that they would send me the title document (sent to their address) so that I could start the process of selling it and they would facilitate viewings.

This is when the trouble started. DM refused to give me the title, pretending that she didn't know where it was, or that she wasn't aware she had it. This was always followed by a comment about how DS might need a car one day. DF is very passive and refused to look for the paperwork.

In Feb I started hearing about how my DS's car was beyond repair. My family visited the UK two weeks ago for my wedding but did not bring the paperwork. While visiting DM said DS wanted to buy my car and that she had a family friend (with no car knowledge) "value" it for a price that would barely buy you a wreck (the car has 40,000 miles on it). I said if DS wants to buy the car we can discuss it as I want to sell it in general, but not at that price. This was in front of my husband and another family member.

After the wedding DH and I took 4 days to go away to a rural part of the UK. On Thursday evening DS messaged to ask about a few features in the car. On Friday she suggested an initial price, then a lower price, then said this was probably going to drop more after she had it "inspected". I told her the signal was very poor where we were and the hotel wifi was not working so I would get back to her on Monday when I was home and had time to do some research. She said that was fine.

Yesterday DS messaged to say she was going to transfer the car into her name and when I asked how she could do that when I hadn't sold it to her, she said DM forged my signature on a bill of sale. She then started dictating that she would only be paying me in instalments, that she put a very low value on the sale documents to avoid taxes, etc. I told her that I was not okay with it, we had not agreed a price, and that they are not to forge my signature on anything (this is all in writing). They went through with it anyway and filed all the legal paperwork and she has taken possession of the car. When I spoke to DF he agreed that while what they did was illegal, this was "urgent" and I should have dealt with it while away with my husband.

I guess I'm just asking for how other people would handle this if they were in my position. Like I said above, this is a long standing pattern and follows a lot of poor behaviour at my wedding. I'm just exhausted with the whole situation.

OP posts:
MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 02/04/2024 09:38

I'd report it to the police as fraud.

Then I'd go no contact with them all.

DeltaAlphaDelta79 · 02/04/2024 09:38

If this is even genuine, I would report them to the Police for fraud/forgery and theft, family or not! You even have it in writing that they forged your signature.

BMW6 · 02/04/2024 09:39

Well obviously go to the Police as a crime has been committed !

Katrinawaves · 02/04/2024 09:39

It’s probably relevant to know what your home country is, if you are hoping for quasi legal advice or advice about how to handle these very complex family dynamics.

Harvestfestivalknickers · 02/04/2024 09:43

You've got to put a stop to this, I would contact the police/take legal advice. The car is yours. Your DM has no say in the matter. Put a stop to her illegal behaviour now.

RoseMoose · 02/04/2024 09:44

Edited - Sorry I read the post wrong. I thought the car was in UK and you were not. So my answer was irrelevant.

AnonforThis123 · 02/04/2024 09:48

This is in the US. They have forged my signature on a bill of sale saying that I've sold it to DS for a specific amount and then filed this with the RMV to register her as the owner of the car. No sale has been agreed and I have not received any payment.

Unfortunately yes, this is genuine.

OP posts:
DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 02/04/2024 09:49

DeltaAlphaDelta79 · 02/04/2024 09:38

If this is even genuine, I would report them to the Police for fraud/forgery and theft, family or not! You even have it in writing that they forged your signature.

Edited

Agreed.

OP, who witnessed your signature?

Report to police aSAP

Dearg · 02/04/2024 09:51

If it’s in the US, then definitely report it to the Police as a stolen car and the DMV.

Shocking behaviour from your family. Sorry you are going through this.

Lolapusht · 02/04/2024 09:51

Contact the RMV and make them aware. Do they have a process for dealing with stolen cars? How much were you hoping to get for the car because that’s how much they’ve stolen from you. Can you do the US equivalent of a small claims to recover the money?

Apart from the immediate car issue, how are you with going NC with them? They sound like total nightmares that you need to keep at a distance. Family do not steal cars from you or forge your signature. They have recused themselves from benefitting from having you as a family member.

quizzys · 02/04/2024 09:53

Report to the relevant authorities.

Since you are in the US, sign up to City-Data.com and post in the relevant section(s) for more advice.

City-Data.com Forum: Relocation, Moving, General and Local City Discussions

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 02/04/2024 09:55

It may be complicated by the fact that you left it on your DM’s property.

What is your main objective? To force your DSis to pay market value? To reclaim car and sell it? To seek just revenge on your family? To right an illegal wrong?

Snd / or to deal with this on an emotional level and come to terms that your family are emotionally abusive?

Do you want to continue any ongoing relationship with them?

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 02/04/2024 09:57

Are you intending to return to live in America? If not I would write the car and your family off as a lost cause quite honestly and not have anything to do with them again. If you need the money then obviously contact police but if not I would just go NC. Enjoy your new life without them in it.

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 02/04/2024 09:58

If you report them for forgery / theft, you will have to deal with the fact that both the car and your own legal paperwork are on your parents’ property. Where would the car go? Your mum won’t lovingly care for it in the garage once you have reported her!

brocollilover · 02/04/2024 10:07

all very strange and i suspect much more to it

AnonforThis123 · 02/04/2024 10:09

@BoudiccaOfSuburbia I think the emotional abuse is the issue. I've been treated like this my whole life. When I tell other people what my family members have said or done they are shocked, but my family acts like it's no big deal, and I am the one that is the problem by being upset.

I guess I just wish there could be consequences or even validation of my feelings for once, but that's unlikely to happen and I'm not sure if legal consequences are the road to go down.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 02/04/2024 10:11

I think legal action is the only thing they will take any notice of. I really feel for you but think you should get this sorted and then go very low contact.

StrawberryWater · 02/04/2024 10:14

Tell them they either pay the full amount for the car or you'll report it.

If they think you won't then remind them that forging those types of documents is a federal offence (because it is) and they won't look too kindly on their actions.

It's the only way these scammers will listen.

Then please go no contact with them, they're scum.

Lengokengo · 02/04/2024 10:18

I think you do the thing that will bring you the most peace / be the last traumatic (to you) option.

If you have a strong sense of justice/ fairness and can cope with all of the legal and emotional fall out, then go one way.

If you can afford to lose the car, call them or on their behaviour and walk away from them forever do that.

or any other variant.

Only you know what you can tolerate/ what will bring you the least burden.

Sending you solidarity from a fellow scapegoat/ ignored goat! I slightly regret not going very low contact earlier in life, but I also know that the nuclear option of police/ major calling out of behaviour would not have worked for me in the short/ medium or long term. . A gentle complete step back would have been best for me, but we are all different.

Lengokengo · 02/04/2024 10:19

Oh, and they are NEVER going to acknowledge any bad behaviour. It took me a loooooooong time to understand this.

LuckyOrMaybe · 02/04/2024 10:22

No helpful comments I'm afraid, but your description sounds immediately similar to what happened to my mother when she moved from the UK to Australia, leaving her car by agreement for her father to sell. She hadn't intended to do that but the sale she'd agreed fell through. Later she asked for the money and was met with denials. I understand she was given something towards her first house deposit with great show of how generous they were being, but ...

Distance can be good.

StarsByThePocketful · 02/04/2024 10:28

You must be a very generous sister to gift a car to your sibling just like that.

now seriously, do Not be such a doormat to them and report them. Stop this behaviour once and for all.

ive gone NC with my mother’s side of the family for very similar reasons and feel much better for it, I’m not a bloody charity.

FloofCloud · 02/04/2024 10:30

Definitely lodge with the police

tribpot · 02/04/2024 10:48

I think this is complicated by the fact you're not in the US and the crime was committed in the US? I would contact the police force where the crime happened to get advice.

Beyond that, surely you go no contact with these people. If you aren't already having therapy I would definitely recommend getting some. Given your parents' history it was certainly optimistic to leave your car in their possession - I'm not saying what has happened is your fault, but just that you are conditioned from years of abuse not to make decisions in your best interest. Time for that to change.

Thefutureisourownpath · 02/04/2024 10:51

If you can phone and record it and keep calm and ask about the car, who forged it and why and get a recording - that will help.

don’t tell that you are recording it at all

phone a few people and then report as stolen and fraud - done.