Family members forged my name on documents to transfer ownership to sibling

[AnonforThis123]

As the title says, I found out yesterday that my DM and DS forged my name on legal documents to transfer ownership of my car to DS. I'm wondering how others would handle this on a personal level. For context, there has always been a scapegoat/golden child dynamic in my family and DM has a history of impersonating me and forging my signature, but this is the first time there is a paper trail. DS is fully on board with this dynamic and doesn't treat me with even the most basic amount of respect. We are both in our late 30s.

A few years ago I unexpectedly moved to the UK from my home country for a new job. I thought it would be easier to sell my car if it was fully paid off so I left it in my parents' garage and made the last few payments after moving. It was agreed that they would send me the title document (sent to their address) so that I could start the process of selling it and they would facilitate viewings.

This is when the trouble started. DM refused to give me the title, pretending that she didn't know where it was, or that she wasn't aware she had it. This was always followed by a comment about how DS might need a car one day. DF is very passive and refused to look for the paperwork.

In Feb I started hearing about how my DS's car was beyond repair. My family visited the UK two weeks ago for my wedding but did not bring the paperwork. While visiting DM said DS wanted to buy my car and that she had a family friend (with no car knowledge) "value" it for a price that would barely buy you a wreck (the car has 40,000 miles on it). I said if DS wants to buy the car we can discuss it as I want to sell it in general, but not at that price. This was in front of my husband and another family member.

After the wedding DH and I took 4 days to go away to a rural part of the UK. On Thursday evening DS messaged to ask about a few features in the car. On Friday she suggested an initial price, then a lower price, then said this was probably going to drop more after she had it "inspected". I told her the signal was very poor where we were and the hotel wifi was not working so I would get back to her on Monday when I was home and had time to do some research. She said that was fine.

Yesterday DS messaged to say she was going to transfer the car into her name and when I asked how she could do that when I hadn't sold it to her, she said DM forged my signature on a bill of sale. She then started dictating that she would only be paying me in instalments, that she put a very low value on the sale documents to avoid taxes, etc. I told her that I was not okay with it, we had not agreed a price, and that they are not to forge my signature on anything (this is all in writing). They went through with it anyway and filed all the legal paperwork and she has taken possession of the car. When I spoke to DF he agreed that while what they did was illegal, this was "urgent" and I should have dealt with it while away with my husband.

I guess I'm just asking for how other people would handle this if they were in my position. Like I said above, this is a long standing pattern and follows a lot of poor behaviour at my wedding. I'm just exhausted with the whole situation.

I would workout how much money I've lost, how much legal and court fees and flights and accommodation would be if I had to go and fly over to sort this. If it wasn't worth my whole, then I'd just right the car and them off. The consequences for their actions is they lose you and any access to future children you may have - which seems to hurt more than loss of contact with the adult child.

This is definitely a police matter. Go and get your car back.

@AnonforThis123 to be honest, if your mother had a history of forging your signature for things, then why the hell did you leave your car in her garage??? did you not have a trustworthy friend who could have looked after your car? could you not have driven your car to UK? did you not anticipate that this might happen? you really only have yourself to blame for her greed and shitty attitude! theft, blatant theft so get the law involved!

Whilst what they did is wrong they could cite that your car had free storage in their garage for x amount of time.

Where would you have left the vehicle if it hasn't been done their generosity in letting you keep it for free in their garage?

Inform your DS of the price you want. Tell her the time frame and ask for payment or you will report the forgery to the authorities.
Don't involve yourself with any monetery affairs again with DM and DS.

exactly

to say there will be a back story is an understatement

This

First question you need to ask yourself:

Do you really want a relationship with any of them?
What you are describing is basically ongoing abuse up to the point of doing illegal stuff if it’s beneficial to them.

Then, do you need the money if the sale of the car?
If you do, then I’d go down the legal route and report them.
If you don’t, I’d start with looking at what else has your mum (and dsis) access to. I wouldn’t make waves (yet?) but put anything that is valuable out of their reach. Whether it’s stuff of sentimental value or things of monetary value (I’m thinking eg if you own a house, savings etc etc. Anything where making someone believe they are You could be enough to strip from any assets.)

You need to start protecting yourself.

And tbh I’d advise you to go at least low contact as soon as you have something in place to protect those valuables and you know they can’t put their hands on it.
I’ve seen that sort of stuff at play with my dad and his dad/sister. It never stops. They don’t learn. And you’ll never get them to recognise your feelings/you as a person.

I would find a website that will value your car online - age, mileage etc.
Then give them 5 working days to transfer this full value before you report them for fraud and theft. On receipt of the full value, you would be happy to complete a legal bill of sale.
I would put all of this in writing through a US lawyer. They will also be able to advise whether or not you would be breaking the law by not reporting them straight away as from a PP, this is a federal crime so mind you don't make the situation worse for yourself.

Best of luck OP and I'm sorry for you that your family are so utterly unpleasant [to put it mildly]

This !

Completely irrelevant if they didn’t ask for payment at the time.

OP, I honestly think you need to report that, maybe warn them first that if they don’t pay in full within a week or something, you’ll go to the police, if they think it’s no big deal, they won’t have anything to worry about, right?! But I suspect they know full well it is a very big deal.

Honestly? I'd report them to the Police for fraud, screenshot and share all of Dsis's admissions of forgery to the authorities and cut the feckers out of my life as much as possible.

They sound vile, OP. They have zero respect for you.

That said, you should have sold the car quickly, knowing what they're like. You clearly cannot trust them to take care of your interests in any way.

Agree that therapy is a good idea.

I'd work on the assumption that DS has been driving your car the whole time, and the subsequent mileage and wear and tear has contributed to the lower value...

The only reason they're doing anything now is because you've finally gotten around to trying to sell it.

Unless you take legal action, absolutely nothing will change. I’d contact the police on the basis of fraud.

tbh I don’t think the DM and dsis will change the way they behave.
Reporting them to the police might feel satisfying but it will unleash a huge backlash.
I think the OP needs to think first about what sort of outcome she’d like to acheive. Does she want to go LC or NC? What about the impact on still being in contact with the wider family? Is there any other sibling involved?

Contacting the police could be the nuclear action. And even though it is the most logical thing to do, it might not be to the benefit of the OP.

Oh I know this feeling!! I completely understand. The best thing you can do is cut them off as much as possible. You say you want validation but you've had it from other people just not your family. They are never going to give you that as it would entail admitting they are wrong. You are in a toxic relationship and the sooner you move away from it the better. Your father sounds no better. Stating you should have dealt with this while on your short honeymoon is just crazy and not a good reason to forge your signature

This.

Decide on a reasonable price for the car ( use others as a reference and keep the details)

Contact DS and DM tell them this is the price you are expecting in your bank account within the next 7 days or you will be reporting the fraud to the police.

I would also tell them that if they ever defraud you again you will go straight to the police without warning or opportunity to resolve the issue.

Then distance yourself for your own sanity!

My mother has been withholding the title, preventing me from selling the car, always followed by a comment that my sister may need a new car someday. The title is in my name and I paid the full amount for the car (no financial contributions from family). I have been busy with a new job and planning a wedding so arguing with them over this hasn't been a top priority.

While my mother has done some suspect things in the past she has never done anything illegal so while in hindsight I shouldn't have trusted them to help with this, I also didn't expect them to commit fraud. I was still living in a different state from them before I moved to the UK and their behaviour is more tolerable at a distance. I naively thought things were improving as I got older.

This this this THIS! 👆🏻

OP, what I would do is seek therapy. You clearly have a very dysfunctional family dynamic with both your mother and sister's behaviour being completely not okay but you have also clearly been trained to accept this and/or accept blame.

What is now happening is most likely a combination of you having a bit of distance (physically, but also in terms of not interacting with them daily so you see more people and families with normal and healthy relationships which can throw your own into stark relief) AND them taking it a step too far so that even programmed as you are to accept their shiftiness, you see this is too much.

Therapy might help you to make sense of it because you will NEVER get any resolution or closure from them. I agree with PP that going no contact is the answer, but I suspect you are not yet in a place to feel you can do that. Another reason to consider therapy.

As for the legal route - that will cause a lot of drama. I agree it's the right thing to do, but suspect it's not going to be worth the effort. in which case, you may need to accept that this car is a write off and you will never see the money.

I would report it to the police, and then tell your family you have done so and you will press ahead unless they transfer the full sale price to you. Then don't bother speaking to them again.

Tell your family they transfer title back to you now at zero cost to you -(documents might need to say say you've paid what they claim to have paid you but no cash changes hands as probably best for CGT purposes ) or you will go to the police.

Dear Sis
I am shocked to hear that you and DM have resorted to fraud in order to obtain the car. As you are family I am reluctant to report this immediately so I will give you a chance to rectify things. I have decided that the minimum I am prepared to accept for the car is $xxx, please arrange for this sum to be transferred to my bank (give details) within the next 7 days. Provided this is done I will take no further action. However, if I do not receive full payment by "date" I will be reporting this matter to "name police authority and car registration authority".