Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Can we have some positive stuff about MILs here please? I'm fed up of all the moaning!

67 replies

Flibbertyjibbet · 28/03/2008 21:14

As a mother of two boys I am horrified to hear how some of you think that your own mother is more important than your pain in the neck MILS.
Can we have some positive MIL stuff here please? My mil is not perfect but she must love my dp like I love my own sons so doesn't that give us the biggest ever thing in common?

OP posts:
talkingmongoose · 29/03/2008 08:57

My ex mother in law helped her son to break into our home while I was away, throw all my possessions and those of her grandson out on the street, and put the house on the market...

Oh, not that sort of thread.

Um...my current mother in law is dead, so no trouble at all, really.

DontlookatmeImshy · 29/03/2008 08:58

My MIL is lovely too. I realise I am very lucky after reading some of the threads on here, but as a mum of 2 boys i also dread being the MIL mmyself especially as I do think though that some DIL's get upset over really silly things, and take their MILS's intentions the wrong way.

For example my mil will do the washing up etc without asking if i want her to. Some DIL's get all upset and take this as the MIL thinking/saying the DIL can't keep the house clean. Maybe like my MIL she's not thinking that at all, she's just thinking it will help the DIL out and give her more time with the kids.

Other MIL's may not do anything for fear of the DIL thinking they are interfering, meanwhile the DIL is bitching about them not helping.

Guess it helps if MIL and DIL are on the same wavelength.

JRocks · 29/03/2008 09:00

I have a lovely MIL too, and I'm sooo thankful for that (although FIL is a different story ) She looks after DS whenever we ask, makes us meals and doesn't moan about anything. At all. Ever. But I still heart my mum more

mampam · 29/03/2008 10:05

How lucky you all are to all have a NICE MIL and I'm very jealous too. I would love to get on with mine and I really tried to but unfortunately she hates me and has made it perfectly clear (FIL told me that they both don't like me!(Long story)).

So please don't lay into those of us who don't get on with our MIL's, feel blessed that you do get on with yours.

josiejellybean · 29/03/2008 11:07

my MIl is completely insane! shes so funny she makes me laugh so much. She has lived life to the max and has some fantastic stories to tell our LO. I hope she carries on being that way forever she gives somewhat exentirc advice at times but i love her dearly.

beaniesteve · 29/03/2008 11:16

My MIL to be is lovely. She's a really independent woman who likes the same music as me, got me horribly drunk when I visited and treats me as an equal.

I do find a lot of the stuff written about Mother in laws a bit weird. Someone once told me that when her mother in law held her baby in the hospital she (my friend) felt an incredible posessive rage towards her (the MIL) which I found really strange.

There are so many posts on here where people seem to expect their husbands to more or less disown their side of the family. I accept that some MILs, and even Mothers, are awful people but some of the issues raised on MN about mother in laws are just rediculous.

Pinkchampagne · 29/03/2008 11:30

My MIL (I still refer to her as my MIL even though I am separated from ex H) is a lovely lady. She has so much energy, even though she is in her 70s, and is a very hands on grandmother to my boys. She is always around to help out at the boys parties (unlike my own mum), always providing the bithday cake, and would go out of her way to baby sit if she was needed.

During our separation she was far more supportive than my own parents, and even though she doesn't have that much money, she insisted on giving me £200 towards a new freezer when I moved into my new house.
Last Christmas she made me a big food hamper as she understands how hard it can be being a single parent.
She is lovely, and other than the fact she is mad as a brush (Which isn't a bad thing!), I couldn't say anything bad about her.

gemmummy · 29/03/2008 11:37

my mil has moved 400 miles to look after my ds while i go back to work. she's uprooted her whole life til at least nov as i have to work away from home til then. pretty good i think.

KatieScarlett2833 · 29/03/2008 11:42

My MIL is the best, ever. I wish I could nominate her for an award.

She collects both kids from school one day a week, feeds and entertains them (and their friends, if required)and returns them, giving me an afternoon and evening off. She is always available to babysit and will happily rearrange her own active social life to accommodate her adored grandchildren. And never complains, ever.

She will happily drive my teenage DD around if I am not available, will spend half her many holidays looking for gifts for all of us, she's better than Santa.

Thanks to this thread, I have just sent her some flowers, letting her know how much we love and appreciate her. I suggest all of you with great MIL's do something nice for your MIL, too. The great ones need to be celebrated.

iom08 · 29/03/2008 11:49

My MIL is great. I love her lots and we would be lost without her.

wilbur · 29/03/2008 11:51

Love my MIL. She can be terrifically bossy and is def a matriarch, but my god, she has the energy of a woman half her age. She adores her dgcs, is incredibly generous with both time and money and makes sure she gets them things they want / need for Christmas and b'days, and when they really don't need want anything, she gets them theatre tickets or a trip somewhere nice. She and FIL have supported dh and me through the deaths of both my parents, and she has told me on a number of occasions, and even written it in a card, that we are doing a great job with the kids and that they are v proud of us all. It is lovely to have that kind of support and I realise we are very lucky.

Lulumama · 29/03/2008 11:54

My MIL is super duper and always has been... she really is another mother to me, and i am so grateful to have her !

she does not interfere, she is thoughtful and kind .

i wonder if the relationship you have with your own mother makes a difference... i get on really well with my mum and MIL, i wonder if i didn;t get on with mum i would get on more or less with MIL>?

lullabyloo · 29/03/2008 12:00

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

um......nope....not a solitary sausage

Elk · 29/03/2008 12:01

When I went away on holiday after being ill my mil drove 1.5 hours to clean the house so I could come back to a nice house (as she knows I like that) and my fil came and finished tiling the bathroom.

When I had loads of migraines she drove 1.5 hours took the dd's out for the am and then took dd1 to pre-school and dd2 to my friends house before driving back home.

DragonFaerie · 29/03/2008 12:03

My MIL has been a rock recently and I have told her on more than one occasion how lucky I feel to have lovely in-laws; don't get me wrong she's not perfect by any means, but then who on earth is?!

She & FIL support me and my DH in every possible way and we have had an emotionally wrought few years.

Although we have our run-ins from time to time I consider myself very lucky. Like you said FJ, the love we have for that man in the middle of it all is a strong commomn bond. Maybe I feel especially lucky cos of getting a bit of a raw deal with my own parents but anyway who cares?

  • 3 cheers for MIL's!!!
Joash · 29/03/2008 12:04

I love my MIL

lullabyloo · 29/03/2008 12:04
chrissnow · 29/03/2008 12:15

My MIL is lovely. She and I often gang up on DH (jokingly - and he knows it) SHe knows I adore her son and thanks me for making him a better man (and I thank her for making him a great man in the first place) She and FIL have the LOs every Wed afternoon so I can catch up on sleep (I work nights) She buys lovely presents for us all. She is crap with technology or making decisions to a hilarious degree - we go and sort her out a lot and she is always so grateful. She gives me lovely compliments on my cooking/crafting/child rearing. She has always made me feel very much part of the family right from the start. She had her 60th last month and we all had such a good time spoiling her and making her a little party and she cried so much. It was a lovely day (not because I made her cry!!) She is just a genuine woman and says what she thinks (but with a lot more tact than my mom).

crapmomonMN · 29/03/2008 12:18

My MIL is great - she travels hundreds of miles to another country every few weeks to see her grandson. She spends time with him (and of course spoils him rotten) she works long and hard to be able to afford to do this. She would drop everything to help us out at a moments notice. She never interfers but is always on hand for advice if needed. DS loves seeing her and stays with her lots. She even took him on holiday for a week! She spends time with us even when DH is not here. She is fab but so is my own mum. But IMO anyone who loves my DS is great. The more the merrier!

I do feel for those of you who dont get on with PIL and Parents.

sandcastles · 29/03/2008 12:28

My MIL is lovely! Having lived thousands of miles apart until 2006 I was worried what I was going to get when we moved to Oz.

She is respectful of our space, doesn't turn up unnounced.

We went on holiday recently & came home to a stocked fridge & a meal that just needed heating up [she has done this a few times]

She is already cooking & freezing food for us for when #2 comes along in July.

She has been calling during the really hot weather [38+ somedays] offering to get dd from kindy, so I don't have to venture out.

She is on the same wavelength as me with regards to discapline of dd.

Original poster
Flibbertyjibbet · 29/03/2008 12:38

I am not 'laying into' those who don't get on with their mils ffs

Mine is not perfect, but she is grandmother to my boys and as such I have to treat her equally to my own mother where the children are concerned, and respect that she is my dps mother and can't just be pushed out because she doesn't have the same view points as me.

OP posts:
LuLuMacGloo · 29/03/2008 12:42

I think Fairylights has hit the nail on the head. MIL's wouldn't behave outrageously if their sons had more backbone and stood up for their wives.

I love my MIL - she is kind, patient, generous and my ds's adore her.

Jennylee · 29/03/2008 12:48

Mine is wonderful, never puts me down or snipes, and thinks I am good for her son and a good Mother, only has wise advice if I ask her for it and does not have crazy beliefs, does everything right when she looks after ds.

My mum is the opposite of all of the above however...

WideWebWitch · 29/03/2008 12:48

ex MIL is fantastic, she loves us all, even though I'm not married to her son any more, she looks after the children (one of whom isn't biologically related to her) so dh and I can go away to hotels, she let me live with her when I needed to for six months, she sews my clothes, she's lovely.

Fullmoonfiend · 29/03/2008 12:54

I love my MIL. She is recovering from cancer, is brave and beautiful. She has never interfered, or told me how to bring my kids up. She makes us feel very welcome when we go and stay and is a fab grandma.
The only downside is she buys me terrible clothes with sequins on....
Oh and her husband (who is not dh's father) is a boor and a bore. But he's ok.