This wasn’t ok was it?

[Isanyonereallyanonymous]

Been chatting to a guy on Fab. Not with a view to date but possibly FWB. All seemed to be going well, lots in common, bit of banter, some flirtation.
But I was at a sporting event this morning and he had tracked me down and just turned up :o admittedly it probably wasn’t that hard to ID me (lesson learnt for future) but still, massively unhappy about it and he’s now blocked. But just need some validation I’m not the loony here please?

That's really creepy. It's quite shocking that he thought this was a perfectly fine thing to do.

Nope he’s no doubt pushing boundaries in the hope he’d get laid tonight. Did he turn up waving a red flag?

Yes you did the right thing to block and tighten up your SM as there are crazy people out there.

How did he track you down? So creepy

Thankyou.
My FB is locked down and he doesn’t have my number but he does unfortunately have my van reg potentially as we were stood next to it chatting, not sure if I’m over thinking that he might have taken that or not.
Im guessing he went on a look for local events as I’d said it was local (he used to compete in the same sport), and he knows my first name and what club I’m associated to and he was able to put it all together. So he will now also have my surname too. Apparently he was following live updates via the timing chip 😳
Got home and blocked him straight away but I’m feeling distinctly unsettled. Not sure it helps I watched the Stacey Dooley stalking documentary recently.
He had messaged me before I was home (few hours later) saying it was lovely to meet me, thought there was something there but he’d understand if I didn’t want to see/talk to him again (though this was based on the fact he also admitted he is not as single as he’d led me to believe, to which I told him outright to jog on) I didn’t reply, just blocked outright, that was best thing to do right?!

So you basically gave him all the details on where you were going to be & how to find you, and you're pissed that he used that to come find you?. 🤔

Well no, and it’s not an invite to just turn up surely?!
If he’d said did I want to grab a coffee after or if I’d met him before then it would be different.
I don’t think it was unreasonable that he had my first name and the club came up as part of conversation a while ago. I think it’s a bit much for him to then take that info and then track me down and actually turn up in person uninvited?

Yes this is definitely an ‘off’ thing to do
it could be construed as attentive in the early days of a relationship when in reality it’s controlling

He’s most definitely overstepping boundaries but perhaps he’s socially clumsy rather than a potential stalker?

Yep, weird. Good on you for your boundaries op

Well Clearly so much was given away that he didn't exactly need to track you down. Anyway you said all you wanted was a friend with benefits. Maybe casual hook ups are not such a wise idea?

Don't he so ridiculous.

I told the guy I'm seeing I'm going to my bed. Okay for him to climb in mu window and join?

You are trying to pick an argument from thin air. Ignore, op

Boundaries? She just wanted a FWB. That's hardly a demonstration of boundaries.

Yeah, really accurate analogy there. I think you need to be ignored.

What's the difference? She only told him about it

I won't be, as I'm supporting OP
Thanks tho

🤣🤣 you're quire funny really.

Seriously. Stop.

You've done the right thing in blocking.

Even the best case here is that he's incredibly socially clumsy. Better to cut it off now.

If it helps, from my professional experience I doubt anyone could do much with your reg in terms of finding your address, unless they happened to work somewhere it was registered and could access your account without a footprint, which is even more unlikely.

His behaviour is creepy. You were right to block.

OP, you are right, just because he knew where you were does not mean he can just pop up and ta daa, here I am.

Its creepy.

He clearly lacks boundaries. Good on you for just blocking but for future reference do not give out so much detail to someone you do not know, I probably do not even need to mention it. The thing is with social media, or like in your instance, those who are set on finding you ,will find you. its really easy. He clearly lacks common sense and it is rude behavior on his part.

Also, if he was not aware of the reasons you blocked him, some men need this explained or they will just follow up on any social media platform, turn up again in the same place they found you, and stalk you for clarity, as some people are daft and entitled, it happened to me, so be aware.

@IWasAimingForTheSky - Don't be daft. I'm not trying to start an argument. I'm just giving a different point of view. Op was online looking for a semi casual hook up. She freely gave him the info & maybe he misread the signs. I would be asking him about what led him to turn up there. Not necessarily immediately write him off as a walking red flag. We all see things differently, and that's the beauty of coming here to ask. You get different views. I have a different opinion from you and that's ok.

Why are several posters on thi thread referencing the fwb aspect? Completely irrelevant

It is massively creepy. If you know someone lives in the Hull area, for eg - and I presume you have given some indication if thinking of FWB - and they are a keen 10k runner, it's not on to Google it - find out there is an Easter 10k run going on and then turn up to meet someone without their knowledge.

OP was presumably still weighing up whether to meet up in person, and that choice was effectively taken out of her hands. I'd be absolutely freaked to hear someone say, 'Hi Hatty' and turn round to find the bloke I'd be chatting to online had tracked me down. And then it turns out he's not 'entirely single'.

He's flying an awful lot of red flags here.

They don't 'need' anything explained.

@Isanyonereallyanonymous

YANBU to do what feels right for you.

There's nothing wrong with a FWB situation either. But are you really wanting FWB or FB? There's a big difference. You have time to think about it before trying again.

There are two separate issues here.

He's married (or has a LTP). Apart from the 'rights & wrongs' with that, for your own sake don't go there. So for that reason alone leave him blocked! Also he lied to you about it, back up blocking!!

Then we come to the 'turning up' uninvited before you've even met. It's not like he had to go out of his way to find you, so I think 'stalking' isn't a fair description, just socially unaware. (Desperate for a shag)

there's nothing he can do with your number plate unless he's police/DVLA etc so I wouldn't be bothered by that.

to me, nothing matters beyond him being in a relationship & how that's bad for YOU.

Thanks all. Interesting to hear different views, I don’t think I’ll ever agree it was an open invite for him to turn up but I can agree I obviously gave too much away.
Definitley lesson learnt.
I wasn’t interested regardless when it became apparent he’s not single and he knew that but the random turning up creeped me out.
As much as anything I am kicking myself, I thought it was just chit chat, talking about common hobbies and weekend plans.
Hopefully he’s just socially clumsy as suggested and I’m just over thinking!

edit - I’m also unsure what the fwb vs dating has to do with it. Fab is geared towards that sort of thing (well slightly more than other dating apps anyway) I don’t want a relationship currently but I do miss the physical aspect. I also think the physical aspect only works if either there is exceptional chemistry (fb) or if you’re relatively comfortable together too (fwb).
I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with that and I’ve been upfront with those I’ve spoken to/met via the app about what I’m looking for. Some have been happy to pursue further, others it’s not for them. That’s fine of course :)