This wasn’t ok was it?

[Isanyonereallyanonymous]

Been chatting to a guy on Fab. Not with a view to date but possibly FWB. All seemed to be going well, lots in common, bit of banter, some flirtation.
But I was at a sporting event this morning and he had tracked me down and just turned up :o admittedly it probably wasn’t that hard to ID me (lesson learnt for future) but still, massively unhappy about it and he’s now blocked. But just need some validation I’m not the loony here please?

@IWasAimingForTheSky - I think you're trying to take offense at something that's not there. Go eat some chocolate and enjoy the rest of your day.

I'm nit taking offense. I'm asking a question that nobody is able to answer.

@IWasAimingForTheSky - I've seen you around a few threads today & you seem to have a bee up in your grill. I mentioned it because often, when people are looking for something casual, the boundaries can be a bit different to the looking for a serious relationship scene. It can be a bit more spontaneous. I know this because I've had several casual encounters myself, so I'm certainly not judging.

' a bee up in mu grill' 🤣 I'm fine, thanks for your concern.

I take your wider point. However, people are focusing on that part as if to sort of victim blame and say we'll what did you expect. I find that wrong. Is that okay?

Of course it's ok. You can feel however you want about it

Yes, that poor clumsy bloke looking for a side shag behind his girlfriend or wife’s back!

OP, he was massive excited that all his little cheating dreams were about to come true, he just couldn’t wait, so he pursued you hard.

Your gut reaction was right, don't doubt it. Maybe also a reminder to be a bit more careful with how much information you give out in the early stages too. Stay safe.

I just get wound up about women not being able to make the choices that is right for them. Sorry for being a nark

It’s worrying that a) “you need validation on here that you’re not the loony” and b) that you’re having to ask if you’re right to block him.

I think people are mentioning FWB because that always works out better (for the woman) when they’re not prepared to take any shit and not doubt themselves.

WTF did I just read?

Since when has wanting sex meant that a woman isn't allowed to have boundaries? That is rapist "logic".

He shouldn’t have done that, but you were extremely naive giving him so much detail.

All you can do is learn from this and don’t take any chances next time.

Word of warning- the vast majority of people on Fab aren’t single. Most will claim their wives/girlfriends know/are into it but I’d hazard a guess that that’s barely ever the case!

Never heard of FAB but research shows over half of the people on tinder are married or in relationships which partly explains why so many on there are just looking for casual hook ups. It’s pretty awful so not surprised to hear it may even be worse for this Fab.

OP it goes without saying this guy was out of order and is displaying stalkerish behaviour. It’s particularly frightening that he does this when he has another relationship going on. This tells me that if you had went ahead with him he’d likely have become very possessive And not kept to having a casual relationship.

I limit certain details for this very reason eg. If I’m travelling I’ll be vague about the country I’m going to or not disclose what airport I’m flying out from or the day I’m flying out. Same as if I’m when I’m going to a theatre show, I’ll let the man know afterwards.

Well done on blocking him.

You're right to block. Unless you said, "fancy coming along to this event?" or he said, "oh, is that the event in the park? Do you mind if I come along?" and you said yes, then he wasn't invited, and as it had been mentioned, if he'd already been planning to go, he should have said so.

Whether you're meeting someone just for sex or for something more serious isn't relevant - it's stalkery to turn up like that if you've not met before, and even if you had previously met, it would be weird. (I say that, having grown up in a small town, and I probably would expect to see people I know at various events without having planned it, but it's clear enough when it's an unplanned meeting.)

Oh yes lovely here is the victim blaming and sneering. Nothing wrong with looking for casual sex. It doesn't mean we welcome weird behaviour or being it on ourselves. We should still have an expectation of safety and normal social behaviour from men, whatever the scenario.

I went on a coffee date with a man once and happened to mention a club night I was going to that night with friends. We arrived a bit late and he was just leaving with a mate. He grabbed my elbow as I was about to walk past him (in shock that he was there, and a bit drunk, my instinct was to ignore him) and all I could do was shake him off and walk away. I couldn't believe it. He hadn't mentioned going when we were having coffee and if his mate had randomly suggested it you'd expect him to have text me to say he was going. Just turning up was creepy and boundary crossing.

Judgey! Ignore this person please OP. Good for you blocking this bloke btw

He over stepped the mark. It's quite normal to have conversations like 'what you up to this weekend?" "Oh I'm going to see Taylor Swift " Yes the other person could figure out where that is. It doesn't mean they should.

This person overstepped and op is right to block and move on. Maybe the other person was going for big romantic gesture /hoping to get laid or maybe they put their needs and wants above others or maybe they don't have appropriate social skills/boundaries. But really it doesn't matter it was inappropriate to do.

It's a good reminder op to be careful what we share.

Very creepy.
You were right to block him.