If the OW was your friend

[Mountainrange]

So, as the title suggests, does it matter if the other woman was your friend?
From personal experience, I think it does.
It was a double betrayal, and to make matters worse, I didn't find out till years after the event.
She continued to be my close friend after the affair with my husband.
He's now ex of course!
She's ex too.
The pair of them, right in front of me but I couldn't see it.
Caused me so much pain.
I can't even begin to explain.

I had friends who were part of a big friendship group that included siblings. Unknown to the group one of the siblings was having an affair with someone else in the group. When it became public it was like throwing a bomb into the group. The siblings fell out, the innocent party assumed that others must have known and kept it secret, the other friends were hurt by the position they were put in. It became horribly messy. The new couple were unashamed about how they got together and as the golden child of the siblings, the parents refused to accept any criticism of the golden child's behaviour.

The group was never the same again and the siblings had a very difficult relationship for a long time. When the couple married there was a lot of sniggering during the vows at the pledge to be faithful, but the B&G remained oblivious.

Many years ago, just after I had given birth, I discovered that my DH and my friend were having an affair. I will never forget the hurt, and my heart goes out to all of you that have experienced it. I had no money, no work, I had 4 small children including my new born baby, so I had to stay - I felt I had no choice. I also had the sort of family that wouldn't have helped me. He was apologetic, said he wouldn't do it again etc. But for me, it was over inside my head. I also found evidence that the affair continued after he had promised it had ended. I think it likely he had other affairs too that I didn't know about. Just to add, he was abusive in other ways too. I didn't even like him after this, let alone love him. But the sense of betrayal ....jeez.

I waited until my children were older, then I threw him out. This was many years ago and I'm thoroughly over it, but I have never forgotten those years.

I can't believe all these messages. So many of us going through a similar painful experience.
What happened to me goes through my mind constantly and has brought up all kinds of questions.
The double betrayal is so hurtful.

This is a situation which calls for revenge of some kind. Tar their reputation, fuck things up for them somehow. Nothing illegal or that would get you into trouble, but….fuck, they deserve it. Both of them.