I'll start off by saying I'm really not bothered that this man has ended things between us, I'm just baffled by the situation and want to know if I was love bombed and he’s crazy or if I was unreasonable.
I'm 27 and have been single for 5 years. I started talking to a man (32) on Facebook dating last week who had been single for a year and prior to that was in a 10 year relationship. Apparently he was unhappy for quite some time as she was controlling and abusive, so I'm not sure if he had some trauma/insecurities from that relationship. Anyway, we chatted for a couple of days and then decided to meet up last Sunday.
We live 2 hours apart so met up halfway, went for a walk and some drinks. Seemed like it went well although he was very touchy feely (trying to touch my vagina whilst we kissed) which was a reg flag considering it was the first date. I just put it down to the fact that he liked me and found me attractive. He told me that he wanted a relationship but then kept making sexual comments which put me off.
I think he sensed that I didn’t like it as I was quite reserved so he stopped. We agreed to meet up again (tonight) but last night he was very needy, asking me if I thought we’d be in a relationship soon and said it felt like we were already in one. It just seemed like he was trying to rush things and put pressure on me to be his girlfriend after only meeting once!! I like to take things slow and just go with the flow but it felt like a military operation and like he was trying to plan everything out.
Anyway, I answered his question honestly and said I’d hope it would turn into a relationship in the future, but that it was still very early days and I just wanted to have fun and spend more time with him. I don’t think he liked my answer as he replied saying the vibe was off and he didn’t want to see me again, fine! I wished him all the best and we left it at that. Fast forward to this evening, he messaged asking how I was and said he was gutted things had ended between us and that he just wanted me to want him.
He acknowledged that he was insecure, said he didn’t want to lose me and asked if we could start over, which I stupidly agreed to. He asked me to come over tomorrow and that he’d cook for me and we could watch a film together. This all happened at 4pm today then 30 minutes later I checked my WhatsApp and boom he’d blocked me! WTF. I text him asking why he blocked me and he replied saying I wasn’t for him, that the chat was dead and I’d made no effort (apparently driving 2 hours to see someone and spend time with them isn’t making an effort ??) Baring in mind he hadn’t offered to come and see me or made any other suggestions.
He was trying to pity me saying that he didn’t want to upset me, I just wasn’t for him and he knew what he wanted, it just wasn’t with me 😂. I’m not bothered in the slightest as I feel like I’ve dodged a bullet, I’m just baffled by the whole experience and want to know if this is normal behaviour? I actually feel like my head is going to fall off tonight 🤣
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Please tell me I'm not nuts...
StarbucksCoffee15 · 28/03/2024 21:59
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BirthdayRainbow · 28/03/2024 22:05
I would be focussing on why I was willing to give someone a second chance who was inappropriately touching my vagina five minutes after we met without any encouragement from me.
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