is it fairly common for a dh/dp not to see his children all day because of work?

[cheesesarnie]

dh leaves for work just as children are waking and doesnt sometimes get back till well after bedtime.lastnight was 10pm.so he misses breakfast,lunch,dinner,bathtime and bedtime with dc.does this happen in lots of familys?

until Sept last year dh had spent 2 years going away on a Monday morning, and not getting back until teatime Friday.

Now he works 20 mins away, so he sees ds every day, and doesn't understand it when I get cross that he doesn't make time to play when he comes in from work.

Oooops, coming in now.

Another family where dp leaves usually by 7 and returns 8.30.Sometimes gets to see ds for 10 mins before leaving house but can go from sun night to sat morning without seeing him. I know he gets really down and worried about not having enough time with us,often works sunday too...
jesuswhatnext, your posts have cheered me up

It happens to me in mine ...

DH works 10 mins away - we moved to make this so, - but some weeks, when he has a big case on, we all only see him first thing in the morning. I hate it.

Normal for us too I'm afraid.

Normal for us too. Actually, what I find most difficult is that it's not regular or predictable so I have to assume he won't be around but be pleasantly surprised (rather than inconvenienced ) if he turns up. I'd much rather know where I stood. As it is, I can't plan things to do in the evenings (eg there's a yoga class I'd love to go to) as I have to assume he won't be around, but can't book childcare as he may be home.

Glad I'm not the only one doing the childcare alone

I think it very common unfortunately, in order to earn enough to keep ticking over i think most have no choice. My dh leaves house at 745am and generally gets back at about 6pm spends some time with them before they go to bed, but some weeks he also works sat morning too, when he gets back at 12.30pm i then have to go to work and on a sunday too!! so not much family time but at least they get some dad time whilst i'm at work!

My Dh very rarely sees the DCs at all during the week. Some weeks I don't see him either.

Dont you get lonely, i do especially if he does overtime and i'm on my own all night, i end up talking to myself and eating crap all night

Happens here too. Dh leaves the house between 6.30 and 7am, and the absolute earliest he is back is 7.30pm. It is a long day with the dds for me (dd1 is 3.6, dd2 is 1.2)

what has made it a bit harder for us is dd1 is ASD, and she finds it very hard to be separated from her dad. She doesn't understand that he is at work, and cannot work out when she will see him next. she can parrot back "daddy is at work", and I think she now knows this means she won't be seeing him, but cannot get a handle on when she will be seeinghim.

And to make it worse, because she expects not to see him (ie if she gets up and he's not about, then she assumes he will not be here that day) then if he does come home early to see her, she panics as it is out of her routine and comfort zone

It makes dh feel very unloved at times

It sounds as though most of you have more than one dc.We have 6 month ds so managing fine without much input from dp (he is great when here and supportive/admiring of the job am doing with ds) Am thinking possibly of further pregnancy in next few months ( am 37 so want to get on with it). Is this crazy? How do people find managing more than one with dp/dh away a lot?
bitcat I get lonely too and also do the eating crap thing..

Yes, it is quite normal.

Yeo quite normal, my dh leaves about 7.30 so sees the dds for about 30 mins every morning and then at the weekends. Usually home about 7.45pm after bedtime. About every other week he will be away overnight and the dds hate not seeing him that morning, but don't bat an eyelid that he is not there in the evening - that's their norm. Most difficult is when dh needs time to himself at the weekend because he has been working all week, which of course as a SAHM I haven't been

This thread has reminded me how lucky I am. DH is around from wake up time until DS1 goes to school (he drops him off on his way to work.) Then he gets home at about 6.-6.30 just in time to do bath and bed (the boys are in bed by 7.15)
He is around every weekend.

I'm lucky in that dh leaves at 9am so helps children get ready and is back by 7.15 so puts them to bed

with the occasional early starts / late nights

Wired - I have 3 dc and expecting a 4th. Quite a lot of the time DH is either not here or recovering from overworking. Yes, it makes things hard work but for me is not a reason to limit my family. Would definitely do it all again.

I'm 37 too - I understand the feeling of there not being much time to faff about it!

Wiredtothemoon, i really dont know how i cope some times,i guess you just get on with it..you have too. I have 4 children and it does help that i have 3 at school now but i think a good routine and being organised is probably the best advice i can give you! Just so you can get a little time to yourself even if its just few hours when children in bed! But it does have its rewards too doesnt it, otherwise why would we do it?

Dh is stuck in a meeting...

grrrr