Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The new girlfriend getting involved

26 replies

sunshinedaffs · 24/03/2024 19:53

I left my narcissistic emotionally abusive husband about 8 months ago. We have 2 children together so still in contact. At the start I felt great, empowered and positive about life.

At Christmas I had a wobble, he had the kids, I was alone I felt like I'd made a mistake. I actually begged him to take me back, he took great pleasure in telling me he didn't want me and that he'd moved on and met someone amazing. I'm so relieved he turned me down and I didn't go back there, that would have been a huge mistake and I'd of spent more miserable years with him until I had the courage to leave again.

However since that moment he's ramped up his emotional abuse and now the new girlfriend is involved. Warning me off her man, she's rescued him from the emotional wreck I left him, she won't allow me to set him back on his recovery from the abuse I subjected him too.

He only sees the kids every other weekend, picks them up 11am Saturday and drops them off 11am Sunday. He pays a token amount of maintenance, £500 a month less than what he should pay. Whenever I asked for stuff, he can't afford it despite being a high earner.

I'm starting to fight back, I've threatened using the Maintenance service if he doesn't pay. She then gets involved saying he gives them everything they need so stop being greedy.

I know it's all textbook narcissistic deadbeat dad stuff. I can imagine the stuff he tells her. I can rationalise it and talk myself down but it's exhausting. I'm so tired of it.

If you've been here, how do you cope?

OP posts:
Notsoflirtythirty · 29/03/2024 17:48

One, why is she having direct contact with you? Knock that one on the head. What you need to discuss with him about your children is up to you.

I had to have any contact through emails. So I had a paper trail of his behaviour and how he spoke to me. Also had a ring camera installed because he was being rude and inappropriate on my door step.

You just have to grey rock him, he's going to spout a load of waffle and shit to perpetuate his story. So no matter how much he and her rattle you do not play into it. Or he will use it to "prove" how awful you are

Also absolutely go through CMS they will take the right amount that you're entitled too. It's not greedy it's what they calculate, what your children should receive.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread