DH doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere

[longpathtohappiness]

When DH isn't working he just sits or naps on the sofa. He doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. Feeling so depressed at the moment

How old is he? Whats his job? How long have u been together etc

He is 55, been together 32 years!

is this something new? If so get him to get a blood test to check thyroid , iron and vitamin B12 levels.
Other than this or if he won’t do anything to help himself, consider your options!

Have you talked to him about it? Is he happy this way?

Does he snore?

My DH got somewhat like this and he had sleep apnoea - CPAP has been a lifesaver

Do you work?
Has his work load increased
Is he more worn out than usual?
Do you want a new man?
Do you have anywhere in mind you want to go/do?
How often do you go out/etc

Have you told him this? Asked why he doesn't want to? If he doesnt want to...go out yourself, join groups etc.he might feel left out and join you out...if not...deeper issues. My ex stopped going out with me... but would go out odd time with mate. He was taking me for granted , expected me to always be there....until i wasnt...after 25 year

Just bumping this. Told him how I feel. How lonely I am, how I feel like a housemate rather than a wife. No improvement

We can't get all our needs met by men, thats what your girlfriends are for.

You do something and go somewhere then.
What sort of activities do you enjoy?

Hi OP
my husband was like this until I started going off and doing my own thing and he soon stepped up when he realised I wouldn’t be sitting there doing nothing with him lol 😂

Always amazes me how quickly some people are prepared to give up on others. 🙄

Go out with other people, simple answer! Do you have friends? I actually kind of get it? A lot of the time, when I have arranged to meet up with friends, the time comes around and I force myself because I know I'll enjoy it when I go. Maybe it's just inertia with him? Or maybe he's depressed?

I know, right? Like the next man or the next one after that will be absolutely perfect with no negative traits at all!!

Op you need to live your life how you want to. Whether or not that is with him only you can decide but you can make an interesting life for yourself leaving him at home or maybe you find that too lonely and need to separate and find someone else?

Mummysgogetter yep have started doing my own thing, not going to join him by doing nothing. Not good for my mental health.

I've joined a lot of clubs etc on my own.

OP has been with her husband 32 year! That's not quickly fcol. Ugh. Also , men seem to give up quicker than women, theres no reason the narrative cannot be changed. Im fed up with men wasting womens lives...if its not working...live your life, with or without.

Good for you @longpathtohappiness.
I have the same situation, DH just wants to sit and watch films all evening with his head phones on as I hate the booms and bangs that films insist on having.
What are you doing?
I tend to go for walks and cycle rides and if I’m honest, I prefer doing these alone as I can just immerse myself in the beautiful surroundings and instantly feel at peace. I also go to the theatre/concerts on my own, again I prefer to do this alone as I can just please myself.
So much out there, you need to make yourself a list of places you want to go and things you want to do and get on and do them. It’s his choice if he wants to go with you.

TherebytheGraceofGodgoI

Walking netball, aqua fit, swimming

Weekends have been difficult so I've added in slimming club and might add in yoga too!

Also adding in Women's institute

TherebytheGraceofGodgoI

So hard, feel like a single parent at the moment

Believe me OP, as you get older youll also feel like a single grandparent too if your kids have kids. I did. It never ends. Youll be constantly caring (caring that your OH is involved, caring the kids arent feeling unwanted etc... emotional labour...its never ending with these sort of men)..
I had to leave. After 25 year

Loubelle70 I really don't know what to do, currently sitting here with my 20 something kids feeling empty.

Enjoy your kids company now, in the moment, don’t let your feelings about your DH spoil your enjoyment of their company.
Your husband is perfectly entitled to sit and do nothing if that’s what he wants. That’s his choice and it may be wrong to try to change it.
It could be that you two are no longer compatible and it’s up to you how you deal with it. You could have 30/40 years ahead of you and just think how you want to spend those years. Together plodding on in the same situation or on your own, doing what you want, or maybe you leading a separate social life whilst living together.
How long has this been going on? Do you think in another month you will feel the same?
Would having a serious talk make a difference? Maybe a compromise can be reached between the two of you where an effort is made to have the odd time out. (Food/drink gets my DH going)

We are going out for father's day tomorrow. But the rest of the weekend he will be attached to the sofa

A single parent to kids in their 20s? How much parenting do they need at that age?