DH doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere

[longpathtohappiness]

When DH isn't working he just sits or naps on the sofa. He doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere. Feeling so depressed at the moment

But how can he be attached to the sofa all weekend? Isn't there food to make, washing to do, tidying up to get done, car to service, shopping, walking a dog, changing the beds? your kids are in their 20s but there is likely some stuff to do.

I'm saying this because, obviously, you do all this (!) Why are you not having a conversation with him about being more active, either for daily tasks or for your own fun? What does he say when you try and prod him to action?

Well on the other thread a woman posted she doesn’t want to do anything, someone actually told her she’d reached emotional maturity, I kid you not.

op, I’m afraid you can’t force him, you will need to just go and do your own stuff.

I wouldn't be going out with him on Father's day. If he cant be arsed to make effort why should anyone else. I bet he didn't go out with you on mothers day?

oObyeOo I'm going because I means I won't have to cook! And yeah I know, im just so used to running my life around them it is a hard habit to break

Then go out for a meal on your own

My husband is exactly the same, he is 45 and we have older teenage children. He's got worse and worse over the last 10 years and now rarely does anything with us/me. He lays on the sofa most the weekend and evenings after work.
I'm sorry to hear of your situation OP and don't have an answer although I am seriously thinking of leaving mine as I feel like I can't go on like this for years and years as we get older- we have very little in common.
Good luck, I'm glad you're keeping busy and doing things for yourself.

A different situation, as I wasn’t married and only been seeing him for a few years, but I left a partner for this. I was so fed up, and my words fell on deaf ears. Life’s too short though to spend it with someone with whom you’ve become incompatible.

Loubelle70

I grew up with my parents divorced and me playing ping pong between the two of them. Each parent asked me to tell tales on the other parent.

Cut a long story short, I'm now estranged from my father, and even now the hurt still runs deep. I simply can't do that to my kids. I know they are in their 20s now but I just can't do it

But they’re grown ups! They’ll have already made up their mind about both of you. Splitting up isn’t going to change that

Would he go somewhere if you actually said come on we are going to go to x place ? I have the opposite issue , my husband won’t sit down , he’s always doing something - cleaning ,gardening , diy , cycling , model making ( tanks / trucks not from kits ) . He was 65 this year , still works ft ( wfh) .

also don’t understand how you can feel like a single parent when there should be little to be done for dcs or what age. Make your own fun OP- or your DH will also resent you

low testosterone? apparently it's a thing

But isn't going out just once over a weekend normal? Don't you have other stuff that needs doing round the house?

My DH has never been that interested in going anywhere, hence why I clicked on this thread, but it's partly because his hobbies are in the home: woodworking and cooking, whereas my main hobby is hiking - can't really do that at home!

I just do what I want though, and leave him to his pottering - I mostly go on hikes with my teen DD, but have also been with the ramblers and on my own. And I've been on group hiking holidays, leaving him behind. We're both fairly happy in ourselves/our marriage. I wouldn't ever not do something just because he didn't want to do it.

I can't work out why it makes you feel so lonely and depressed when you do seem to be out and about a fair bit and you are going out with your DH tomorrow and you've got adult children to spend time with as well?

Just wondering if you're more generally depressed?

I think it makes a really depressing atmosphere when someone sleeps on the sofa in the daytime. Fair enough if he was doing something usually and treated himself to a nap out of the way, but a constant snoozing lump on the sofa is just miserable.

Mynty I feel guilty at going out and leaving him. He has told me numerous times he is happy for me to do my own thing, so I know it is my problem not his.