Why do people make put down comments?

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I just don't get how people have the actual audacity to openly do it, and also why they want to do it? What do they achieve from it?

I've ditched a friend years ago for making constant put down comments about me, saying I was ugly and various other things.

Now I seem to have acquired another 'friend' through a group of friends and she is going the same way. Every comment she makes to me has a sting in the tail or is a put down.

Whatever I'm wearing is 'interesting' or she tells me I can't get away with it. At a meet up yesterday someone told me I looked like a famous person and 'friend' burst out laughing and said 'No she doesn't! Famous person is pretty'

She had also told me I'm too plain to do the job I do and she is surprised that someone as ordinary as me has got the job.

Why do people do this?

She says those thing because she is a twat, and twats do and say twatty stuff.

I had a co-worker like this. He was incredibly threatened by me, for some reason, and never missed an opportunity to put me down. I had to meet with him after coming back to work after a bereavement and he went straight for the jugular again. I just looked at my watch and commented ‘that didn’t take long’ and carried on. He didn’t do it again after that.

I often think about this because this happens to me all the time for some reason by all different kinds of people (friends, colleagues, strangers) and I have 2 theories

1. They genuinely think something along the lines of what they said (sadly for us) and they lack the emotional intelligence or self awareness to realise it's rude and don't think before they speak. They've probably never been called out on it because people just think 'that's what they're like!' and let them carry on without the behaviour being corrected. Even trying to correct their behaviour doesn't always work because they're lacking in emotional intelligence so they will take it as criticism/an argument and get defensive. If it's any constellation they probably do this with most, if not all, people in their life so it's not always 100% personal.
2. They're jealous and finding little opportunities in conversation where they can throw in a jab to knock you down. This is very manipulative and they either know exactly what they're doing, or they don't because the jealousy is almost subconscious and they've developed a knack for getting these types of comments in a conversation without it being deemed as outright meanness, and it's hard to correct this behaviour because they will most likely turn the tables if you say anything and make you out to be sensitive/looking for an argument. Again, no one calls them out on their behaviour because of this OR because these people can be intimidating.

Honestly I don't know what the answer is to combating it effectively in either case but if anyone finds out please do let me know 😂

put her down every time she tries that and she'll start avoiding you

Could be anything from they don't like you really, insecurity, jelaousy, not happy either their own life and want other people to be miserable, makes them feel better and more superior.

Could be any of those

Blimey, I've never experienced this from a friend. They're not a friend when they treat you like that. It's time to call her out & get rid.

They do this either because they are inadequate or jealous of you.

Drop them like a lead balloon, people like this are a drain and point scoring is pathetic.

Exactly what I was thinking. It’s easier said than done but call her out in front of other people. Humiliate her. Maybe add -

“You often say nasty stuff about my appearance. Why is that?”

If she says it was just a joke say -

“But how is it funny? Please explain as I don’t get it.”

Then stare at her in silence.

She’s unlikely to do it again and it will alert others to her treatment of you.