Other women wouldn’t accept this right?

[BRATZZ]

Name changed for this.

I’m 26 and he’s 29. We have two young children together. Over the years I’ve realised that his social media usage is much different to mine. I’m frequently deactivating my accounts whereas he’s on social media daily. No biggie right? Millions of people are on social media everyday.

Except, I started to notice that he was always speaking with the same girls and on multiple apps too. He’d speak with them via Snapchat and also have conversations on Instagram. Most conversations were about innocent, mundane topics but when I snooped (yes, I know that was wrong but here we are), I saw that he was ALWAYS messaging different girls when they’d post something on Snapchat. It’d often be a somewhat revealing post where you can see their figure and he’d message things like ‘😍,’ ‘wow that’s your colour’ and cringe messages like that.

I told him I found this to be inappropriate and asked him to block and delete certain girls. After all, he’s never actually met them in real life. They’re apparently ‘social media’ friends. Anyway, he blocked them with no issues and admitted he crossed the line. Yesterday, I was on his new iPad and saw old pictures of our children. I asked him if I could look through his pictures and he said no problem.

Guys, as soon as I opened the camera roll I saw about 5 different pictures/videos of the same girl in gym wear and tight leggings. I asked him who the fuck was this and he came up with some bullshit lie ‘oh one of my friends sent it to me.’ Que me asking why the hell he was lying and why would a friend send him videos of a random girl. I could see that he’d actually screen recorded one of the videos from this girl’s Twitter account. How creepy is that?

Anyway, I lost it and I’ve decided that there’s no coming back from all of this. He’s constantly disrespecting me but he seems to think that it doesn’t matter because it’s not real life and it’s just ‘social media.’ Mind you, he messaged one of these girls telling her he missed her the same day I was cut open to deliver our son.

I know I shouldn’t have to ask but this isn’t normal is it? If you’ve read this, you wouldn’t put up with this constant disrespect right? It’s icky and practically perverted

He's being really creepy here why does he feel the need to interact he could just quietly look

Don't say 'why do I attract these men' you're a great catch you attract all kinds of men. Your question should be 'why do I stay with them' and also 'what I have learned from this, were there warning signs? What do I now know I need before I commit to someone ?'

@BRATZZ

mini eggs? Could have at least been a carton of Lindor chocolates!

honestly, you have to wonder what passes through their heads?? (Nothing much clearly!!)

miw don't you be forgiving him as he's bought you a present!!!

...as if!!!!

I honestly don’t believe I attract all kinds of men! I seem to attract the same type of people. I’m not interested in ‘getting out there’ and dating or anything as I rather just focus my energy on the children and growing as a person. However, these questions that I can ask myself in future are really good, thank you!

This made me laugh😂😂 at least splash out on Lindor chocolates, what the hell is £1.50 Mini Eggs going to do for me!😆

I think the fact that I can laugh so quickly shows that I’ve been fed up with this situation for a long time. I genuinely feel positive and feel like a weight has been lifted. Starting this thread has been so helpful

@BRATZZ make the most of feeling positive & relieved! Make plans & look forward... you can have the pity party later if you feel like it.

life is far too short to put up with that shit!!🌷

I really appreciate your kindness. It’s been a tough day today but I’ve powered through. Enjoy your weekend!

Agree. I had this with ex...he used to like her photos on SM..knowing full well she was interested in him and obviously him her...he was emotionally cheating pm her ...after i ditched him (cowardly he just treated me bad that i had no choice to end it...he could then go to her making out . Even if they hadnt known each other , id be pissed off and get rid

Well whether he'd ever meet up or not .... Seems like he feels the need for a little "harem" of women - to communicate with, get validation from, compliment, flirt (?) with ..... To the point of telling one he misses them on the day his partner and mother of his kids is giving birth.

If you had several male "friends" online whom you were complimenting and telling you missed them; how would he react?
I don't think he'd be ok with it somehow.

You are definitely not being over the top. It is disrespectful behaviour and you deserve better. Sending a hand hold

Oh you’re absolutely right! I should probably step away from the thread as I must seem like an obsessed lunatic but it’s really helping me😅

Sounds like he wants constant external validation from these women. Low self esteem and the need for smoke to be blown up his arse.

He says it’s not real life but it is! It is his life. He is a man that most women think is a pathetic sleaze. He is choosing to put his time, energy and effort into ladies who are uninterested in a cheating man. If they reply it’s because they too want smoke blowing up their bum.

If he put that time and effort into a real relationship with the women he chose to be with them maybe he could have something amazing. But he doesn’t. He has character flaws that make him a poor partner.

Read women who love too much and lose a cheater gain a life.

When you really think about it, what he is doing is pathetic and so needy and sleazy. You say he is doing it to make the women feel good. I’m not convinced he’s doing it to make the women feel good. He is doing hoping to get ‘hey you are hot’ or for a lady to offer sex. Hence he’s picking local women.

You sound determined to leave. But the poster who mentioned cat fishing is spot on. If a lady said ‘let’s meet’ I think he’d be there like a shot. But maybe the ladies recognise he’s low quality. So that’s why he’s still only casting his net.

He has character flaws that make him a poor partner.

No lies there at all

Yes, bullshit that you just don’t even need to answer.

‘Sorry, I don’t care about that. You’re totally missing the point. I just don’t want to be with a sad sleaze, that’s all. This behaviour doesn’t make me angry or jealous, it just turns me right off and makes me lose all respect for you as a person. Can’t believe a sad online letch is my kids dad!’