stood up

[PearlShaker]

Hello,

I have never posted before on here so here goes : I have been chatting to someone online for 2 months via whatsapp. and one video call/voice messages etc. We were supposed to meet up a while a go and he said he had forgot. He said it was mostly because he had got a new phone and lost numbers, he said he assumed he had lost his chance. Anyway fast forward to last week and we had made arrangements to meet at my house ( to pick me up). He was texting during the day and called me after work saying he would be a bit late as he he had forgot his change of clothes and was going home, told me not to worry he wasnt cancelling. He never turned up after that call. I tried to call him, thinking something had happened and he didnt answer. He has been online on whatsapp and I have heard nothing at allll!!. Would you ask what happened and why I was stood up?. I have not messaged him since, but I am not sure what to do?. Any adice would be great

I'm damn sure I've heard of this before , they get a laugh of leading a woman on Oh he'll be back in touch to see how much he can lead you on until you say piss off . Block him , he is having a laugh at your expense .

Thank you for all your comments much appreciated. I blocked him, I just felt like I was stupidly waiting for an explanation but I've wasted enough time. Lesson learned

In the future never give someone your address , that's too trusting.

His wife wouldn’t let him go out! For future you shouldn’t give a second chance to a guy who stands you up once (no matter what bollox he invents). Also texting for months before meeting is a red flag. A week or so of texting before arranging an intro. meeting is a good yardstick. Finally never give your address to some internet stranger you’ve not met in the flesh yet!

This had red flags all over it! You need to do some work on tightening your boundaries and enforcing them to avoid shitty men. Try reading about dating shark cages. Write down your boundaries. Be smart!

You need to take control of your time and availability when OLD.

Chat for a week max before arranging a date. You're not really getting to know the person until you meet in the flesh. One phone or video call max. The purpose being to see they are who they say they are and can hold a conversation, not to get to know them.

Don't give out your address or accept lifts.

Any messing about such as 'forgetting' a date, block.

Keep your investment very low so you're not entertaining thoughts of getting the upper hand if they turn out to be a time waster.

Keep your standards very high.

Either he's playing some silly game or he has terrible anxiety. Either way this is going nowhere and you need to completely block him.

Why would you give a complete stranger your home address?

I know this all seems very niave of me, but the chatting carried on as he was going away on holiday and plus he was working on call so much had a son and said he only got a few days off a month. He showed me his rota. I guess I was stupid giving my address to pick me up, but I was reeled in by someone who Is probably committed. I will never no, the main thing is I've learnt my lessons for the future

This seems to be a hobby for some men, so cruel!
Thinking of a woman say there waiting and worrying, I guess it's control and a power play. But I hope I don't know anyone who'd do this. These guys are the reason I won't do OLD

Aww OP 💐 I'm sure in time you'll meet the one .

Update: he's messaged me saying he has anxiety and that he wanted to reach out the next day he's sincerely sorry blah

Bollocks does his mum have cancer.

He sounds like a pathological lier/narc - they get off on this shit and you will never understand it - and nor should you try to bc you are normal and a good person.

Block him or he’ll be back in touch trying to reel you in with another tall tale.

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Crossed post - told you so!!

Yes, either “anxiety” or his best friends aunties dogs brother’s cat was ran over and he had to go and read it it’s last rites as he’s also an ordained priest y’know??

Theworldie I hope you see this but that was funny

Has he asked to meet again?

Nope, he says he knows it's done and he wasn't trying to get a round me, but was offering the truth

If it was me, I'd call closure on it now - unless you want a penpal.

"Thanks for the apology and explanation. Sorry to hear your anxiety gets the better of you - I hope you can find a way to overcome that one day. Take care, bye."

No, he was totally trying to get round you otherwise he’d have just left it. He wants to see how much you’ll take.

Why did his “anxiety” stop him from sending a quick text to say he couldn’t make your date instead of leaving you sat there like a lemon?

You have the sum of him now OP - trust your gut which is obviously very good. You know what he is - don’t falter, just block the twat.

Datingdinosaur that's more or less what I've done

How do you "more or less" block someone 🤔

This would have been the perfect time to reply "sorry, who's this?"

Anxiety my arse.

He’s probably got a wife.

Sorry you’ve been messed around but it’s time to block him and move on and do not give your address out next time. Stay safe.

Was kinda what I put

Never EVER get someone you have only met online to come to your house. NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!