"If I had wanted to block you,I would have"-mind games?

[yaybird]

Me and ex had a bad breakup
Didn't speak for 2 months
He blocked me on WhatsApp but nothing else -so I just deleted him because after everything he did to me I couldn't bare to see him.
Still loved him but I had too.

Around 3 months later I messaged him on Facebook-we got speaking
He said "I only blocked you on WhatsApp,don't you think if I had wanted to block you off everything I would of just blocked you on everything-I didn't "

What did he mean by that ?

From your own self understanding that should say

What kind of answers would you find acceptable?

The real answer is very likey that he is a selfish arsehole who doesn't like women that much.

I hope you have blocked him everywhere.

Oh dear! Text book example of a man who likes to keep his ex's pinning for him. They use films, songs, etc to ensure you never forget them. It boosts their ego and hopefully gets them a shag every few weeks.

OP, you are setting yourself for another heartbreak

@yaybird Maybe he was seeing someone else and they found out about you and demanded that he blocked you, without realising that you could communicate via FB?

I Don't think I'm ever gonna get the answers I want ,well not even answers just a sorry
I guess I'm looking for a sorry to validate I'm worthy

I understand you want answers, an explanation. When we've been treated badly in a relationship, it's natural to want to hold that person accountable and for them to acknowledge that they've hurt us.

Sadly, it doesn't sound like you're going to get what you need from him. It doesn't sound like he's the type for direct, honest conversation.

It sucks but sometimes following a breakup we have to just move on without any real closure. I think that's what you have to do. You're not going to get the answers you seek, you're just going to give yourself a headache trying to read between the lines to desperately grasp some sense of understanding.

You're well rid of him. Block him on everything and move on.

Why would your worth be dependant on validation from a man who treated you badly?

All I have is because you are gullible, learn move on and stop playing games yourself

You broke up so cut the strings

I think @yellowsmileyface's words are very wise, @yaybird.

To be absolutely honest, this man sounds very nasty, and the last thing he is going to give you is any closure or an apology. Block him, delete him and focus on having a wonderful life.

You've posted a few times about your 'relationship' with this guy, I don't understand why you haven't just blocked him, he treated you like shit and you're allowing him to. What will it take before you see the light because you haven't taken any advice previously given?

Unfortunately, men like him treat all women like this and it's because of something to do with him, not you and not anyone else he dates.

Do you know much about his dating history? That will speak volumes.

It's natural to want answers but at the end of the day, he probably won't change.

And this is the big thing to get your head around. You won’t get a sorry. Or not one which is meaningful. And the other thing to learn is that it really doesn’t matter what a dickhead thinks. How they think or why they did stuff is not important or relevant - it’s worthless. Head up, chin up, take control of your life and leave the dickheads behind.

Um it's only head fuckery because you have contacted him. He blocked you - why are you chasing after him?!?!

He left you unblocked on messenger because he knew that you’d get into contact and he couldn’t resist the possibility of sex in future. I hope that you’ve blocked him so that he can’t contact you in a few months to see if you would shag him again.

I suspect that WhatsApp is for his new victims and he wants to keep exes separate from that.

I think that he picked you for a reason and you are not the first person who has been the recipient of this behaviour. His behaviour is deliberate so if he ever apologised then it wouldn’t be honest so you shouldn’t accept any apology that comes from a person like this. You know what happened and that his behaviour was unacceptable. Continue having boundaries and watch out for red flags next time you date.

He has a long long line of people he's messed around
The stories he told me about how these women wanted more and he didn't want to commit
He showed me pictures of them and they are really attractive women (he ain't all that really )
In a way now I look back and it makes me cringe
I make myself cringe too for being desperate enough to message him on messenger
I'm acting like he's the only man on the planet -it's pathetic
I can see it
I think he is a narcissistic and I know people throw that around a lot but honestly I think he is.

But you keep on contacting him, that part is not his fault

He sounds exactly like a guy I dated until I figured out he's a narc. The boasting, the triangulation. There is no actual proof that he's even been with these women.

@WandaWonder no I know that's totally on me
I have these moments when I think back to the beginning and how different it was
When really I was just new and shiny

I think the best thing to do in cases like this is accept that the person is really not good and that it’s a waste of time trying to work out why they behaved as they did.

I had a very helpful parental suggestion when I was 17 along those lines and I’m really glad I listened. It has saved me a lot of wasted time and energy.

End it completely - no more contact.

He's the one who isn't worthy, not you.

Now you know how he reeled you in, you know what to look out for next time. Was it love bombing ?