"If I had wanted to block you,I would have"-mind games?

[yaybird]

Me and ex had a bad breakup
Didn't speak for 2 months
He blocked me on WhatsApp but nothing else -so I just deleted him because after everything he did to me I couldn't bare to see him.
Still loved him but I had too.

Around 3 months later I messaged him on Facebook-we got speaking
He said "I only blocked you on WhatsApp,don't you think if I had wanted to block you off everything I would of just blocked you on everything-I didn't "

What did he mean by that ?

Just bin him, babe. Move on, properly.

Because he didn't want you to disappear completely. He wants you hanging on a thread..

Waiting for that booty call..

Realistically you were probably annoying him on WhatsApp so he blocked you there, and it didn’t occur to him to block you anywhere else because you didn’t contact him via any other method (I’m not saying he was justified in being annoyed btw, just saying from his perspective).

Then when you did message him in FB, it was 3 months later and his annoyance had subsided, and he thought he might get another shag out of you if he played along.

If you’d also been messaging him on FB or phoning him up 3 months ago, he’d have blocked you there as well. But blocking you just in WhatsApp solved the “problem” from his perspective.

You need to read the post again. It was sarcasm. You have misread.

yaybird

I wanted to know what the point of blocking me on WhatsApp to leave me on everything else

He told you why.

Why he treated me how he did

Because he wanted to. I don’t think you're going to get the 'he still loves you' answers you want here, or have people ruminating along with you over a man. You called him he didnt call you. So he's not that interested, which you must know. You'll be an option for him at best.

Maybe he'll give you answers/closure but be prepared we arent owed closure unfortunately, and also you may not get the answers you want. Nobody here knows him so you're best off asking him.

Oh FFS.

Claiming that you literally said something when what you actually said is the opposite of that thing, is literally wrong.

I even pointed out that I had spotted it was sarcasm in my response.

Honestly, I despair sometimes.

For future reference the answers that are phrased as questions and go along the lines of 'If I xxy.. would I .. xxz'?
I.e. 'would I be here if I fancied her?'.. I don't know, would you? I don't know what you would or wouldn't do, that's why I am asking. Etc. Totally hypothetical but you get the gist. These type of question-answers are almost always evasive, deflecting, head-fucky things with no real meaning behind them. If they behave questionably and answer like this you may have just weeded out a head-fucker.

I understand the needing answers. An acknowledgement of bad treatment. When fucked around a lot the impulse can be to analyse yourself, think that there is merit in it, but the truth is that if you were dealing with someone half decent they'd let you go rather than treat you badly. Or attempt to seriously work on things. If you find yourself needing many answers from a person who's hurt you a lot then it's pointless. You're not likely to get any real or truthful ones.

Sometimes the answer is that people treat other people shittily because they are shitty/immature/ridiculous people. If there was a lot of mistreatment and a lot of pain sometimes the idea that they're now out of your life is the only closure you get. Head up lovely, it's for the best. X

Fwiw you two derailing the thread bickering about the sarcasm - I wasn’t sure it was sarcasm to start with, it wasn’t obvious. Stop sniping and try and help the op.

OP, move on, whatever his motives for leaving a door open, by either of you, this relationship doesn’t sound like a keeper. You won’t get the answers you’re looking for from him. And the questions you should be asking are “why do I keep going back for more? What’s happened in my life that this guy seems like a good idea? What else could I be focussing my energy on to make my life more enjoyable and help me find someone worthy?”

Maybe because it was an emotional time for you both?
If you used to communicate on WhA - blocking and deleting you off there removed a reminder and created a bit of distance.
People need that in breakups. Doesn’t need to be mind games.
You did the same by deleting him there.

I get the wanting closure and asking questions.

Because he wanted to see how long it took you to try to contact him - ego kibbles for him with an extra bonus ego kibble for answering like that instead of "because it was our main form of communication and I didn't want to get into a conversation about why we broke up".

Hmmm. The main answer to the question of why he treated you like shit is ‘because he is a shit’.

You won’t get a logical answer that explains why he did what he did and makes you feel better about things.

It’s hard, but you seldom learn anything helpful in such cases of painful break-ups. Except, perhaps, that you had a narrow escape!

He then waited a few days and sent me a message on messenger of a picture of a film we both like -saying I was lucky he got me into good films
Just constant head fuckery

So stop letting him.

I've known guys like this. They throw you the odd bone so that they can, well, throw you the odd... bone I guess.

You'll know when he's feeling especially horny because he'll creep closer and closer.

Just try to not get your hopes up.

You’ve blocked him there now, right?

The women who don't get treated badly either got lucky first time, or, they have come across them and binned them off until they eventually found a good one.
The poor treatment continues as long as you let it. Does the why matter? If he'd had a bad childhood, what then? Make allowances for his behaviour? Do not accept poor treatment, whatever the reason.

Block him and move on. He's obviously not mature enough for a relationship, and he sounds more than a little twatty.

There’s a wonderful saying I’ve seen used on Mumsnet - drop the rope. He can only keep tugging at you like this if you keep holding on to the rope. Drop the rope; walk away.

When my mum, sister and I were all
single and dating in the late 1990s, one thing we quickly learned was never try to explain a man’s behaviour. You’ll get no useful answers to “why is he doing this?”. Why just leads to allowing excuses for poor behaviour. The key questions are “what is he doing?” and “how do you feel about it?” And you can answer those questions without any input from him.

Take your power back and put him on the past where he belongs.

Op , I don't mean this is a bad way but you're not going to get answers here. It's him you need to ask. Here we can only guess. Sometimes ppl play games to protect themselves sometimes it's to manipulate. ultimately he blocked you and didn't contact you himself, you're only speaking because you reached out so if you want answers ask him directly and to the point. Hope whatever is best for you happens. X

Condescending twat

He meant that he’s a waste of space. An unkind, nasty, shit for brains waste of space.

Means that he is an arsehole and you should act as if he block you for everything and move on for your own good.

He blocked you on WhatsApp because that he how he communicates with most people, other women and didn't what the inconvenience of you popping up asked Ng him questions.

But left you on messenger to keep channel open as an ego boost when you inevitably went crawling back. And now he's playing games again, oh look at how superior I am to you I like better films etc etc

Block him everywhere he is a waste of time.

Omg what an absolute knob!
I think all the pp's have got the measure of him, they're is nothing to be gained from engaging with him further apart from more upset.
It's horrid when you feel answers would help.
I think I'm time once you're feelings die down and you've processed what's gone on with the benefit of some distance, I suspect (without knowing what he's done) that the answers will come from your own self. And I suspect it will boil down to the quality of his character.

We don't know him like you but what you described he said in your op and this film message is very revealing, he likes to keep his women you unbalanced for whatever motive, though likely that puts him in the driving seat and he likes that.