Why did he do this and what does it mean?

[Storry]

I was in a relationship that lasted for 7 years, although the last 3 were on and off. He ended it 18 months ago, and said that this time it really was the end.

I was completely gutted but blocked and tried to move on. There have been 2 or 3 instances over the last 18 months where he's tried ringing me, and once he followed me - presumably to see where I'd moved to. But no proper contact.

Last week he left me a voicemail of a recording of a song that was very significant to us. He didn't speak, just played the song. And that has been it. No contact since.

What was the purpose? What was the point? Of course, he's now right back in the forefront of my mind.

To mess with your head. Ignore and block.

Ps I know I probably sound like a lovestruck teenager but sadly my teens are a long way behind me. A very long way!

That's really creepy

Objective achieved.

If you want him back, call him.

If you don't delete and get busy.

You answered your own question. He wants to be at the forefront of your mind. He doesn't want you, but doesn't want you to move on....

Ugh, he’s just trying to play mind games. If you get in touch he’s almost certain to drop you again then try the same rigmarole in another 6 months. Block block block.

Have you posted about this before. It sounds familiar

I'm never going to call him again - simply don't trust him not to hurt me. But I still think about him all the time and now this.

No, not posted before.

Clearly still incapable of behaving like an adult - adults find ways to deal with difficult situations and have difficult conversations - involving other people, strong emotions, practical issues - they use their life experience, intellect, experience of relationships, understanding of other people to find ways forward - they can express themselves and say what's on their mind and in their heart and deal with others doing the same - they understand it's an imperfect and unpredictable world and that people sometimes don't operate on pure logic... he sounds very limited - how old is he? 14? And as for a song that was significant to us - real life is not a romcom.

He’s doing it to mess with your head. He wanted you to cave and try contact him again but you haven’t. He’s tried reaching out and you’ve stood your ground (well done!). Now he’s being pretty weird and sending a recording of a song. He thinks it’s romantic and that you’ll want to reply but it’s actually just creepy. I would block his number so he can’t leave any messages and I’d keep being strong and moving on!

That is very creepy 😂 seems to me like he wants you back so he can keep leaving you every now and then. Not commit. He’s bored probably and assumes you’ll come crawling back to him or begging him maybe. Obviously I don’t know context but it sounds kind of manipulative and weird

I think this is a genuine time when you need to tell him to leave you alone and block on every avenue that you can. Don’t let him play his silly games and don’t waste any more of your life on him.

I agree, he's messing with your head. Probably can't deal with the fact you're trying to move on and have blocked him and it's dented his ego. Make sure you have all avenues blocked so he can't send anything else. I'd be tempted to send him one message, in writing, telling him bluntly that the relationship is over and he's to stop contacting you, and that if he continues you'll consider it harassment and take necessary action.

Thanks so much for the opinions. You're all very wise - I knew that it'd be some sort of messing with me but I couldn't see the point of it if he wasn't going to follow up in some way.

I have him blocked everywhere but even a blocked number can leave voicemails - on iPhone at least. Which I find annoying.

I wouldn't tell him to leave you alone. He'll get off on what you say and any kind of contact. Just kept blocking or change your number.

Well obviously his single life isn't going quite as swimmingly as he'd hoped and he's feeling a bit nostalgic for the days when he could pick you up and drop you as he pleased, so he thought he'd leave a little trail of breadcrumbs to see if you'd follow them.

The thing is, whatever this is that he thinks he's feeling now, it will pass, he'll get bored and drop you again, and you'll just have regressed 18 months in your recovery from him all over again. Don't go flogging that very dead horse.

No, I won't ever go back to him. But I did, and maybe still do, feel so much for him. I don't think I'll ever trust again. It's all just too difficult and painful. He was the first relationship I had after my dh died, and I remember thinking how lucky I was to have found not one, but two good men in my life. Yeah, that worked out well ...!

Of course, he's now right back in the forefront of my mind

This was the point.

Yes, it must have been I guess. Just seems so - unnecessary.

Silence is its own response OP.

It’s creepy. How is he leaving your voice messages if blocked? Calling off other numbers?

Following you to see where you lived is awful.

leaving voice mails of songs? He sounds deranged. He doesn’t want you but he doesn’t want you to move on.

He's a spineless weasel who darent actually reach out to you and instead wants to set your head spinning wondering "what if". Don't give him the satisfaction, although I know it's hard. Don't dwell and keep going, you've got this!

You still get voicemail from blocked numbers with iPhones. The call doesn't actually ring so you wouldn't know you'd been called, but if it goes to voicemail a message can be left, and you get the text notifying you of it. It's annoying!

Thank you - and I won't give him the satisfaction (those days are long gone!)