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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Looking for support

4 replies

twinkle2525 · 15/03/2024 17:45

Don't know why im really here.
Mum of 3. Two teen girls and 5 year old boy.

Been seeing new man for 2 years.
Great at the start. Perfect.
The last 6 months he really changed.
I couldn't do nothing right. Not even wash dishes properly.
I'm very confident happy person but I've lost everything I am.

He turned to be so cruel. To how I raise the kids too soft, I spoil them. To he can't sleep in my bed because my beds crap, my house has loads wrong with it.
Honestly he picked at everything.
I've finished him a week ago. I've cried all day long under a blanket. I feel like a total nobody. I hate myself. Not good enough. Crap house. Crap mum. Crap everything. I've gone that dark I've realised the kids will be ok without me cus I'm so sad & low.
This man went to every extent to where I wasn't even allowed my fan on at night to get me to sleep.
This is not the half of it.

He really wooed me at the start.
Bought me a lovely car.
I've dropped that off at his house & posted the key.
I was pregnant at Xmas and he told me he hoped the baby was ugly etc cus I didn't see him as much cus I was so poorly so I had an abortion I couldn't take it all. I hate myself for that.
I don't know how to get out this feeling. I hate myself so much for allowing myself to be like this. I've not eaten for a week.

OP posts:
ImaniMumsnet · 15/03/2024 18:12

Hi OP,
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Mental Health page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ Flowers

Mental Health Webguide | Mumsnet

A guide to information and services related to mental health support. Find reliable organisations and support services here.

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/mental-health-webguide

Cuckoochanel80 · 15/03/2024 18:46

You've done the hard part, he was abusive and you need to stay away. (Block/No Contact). This part is tough but you will feel better.

It wasn't your fault and you deserve a lot better. Take your strength from the fact that you won't allow anyone to treat you this badly and that you have taken the control of your own life back.

You can be happy again, focus on yourself and your kids and you will gradually find yourself again after this.

karma1979 · 15/03/2024 20:02

You have dodged a big harmful
Bullet! Please go NC for your and your kids sake. He was not kind to you. You shouldn't be made to feel like that by anyone - not least someone who says they love you. That is not the "love" you want or need. Be strong. You deserve better. x

ChimneySweepLiverpool · 15/03/2024 20:43

This sounds horrible. I'm sorry for everything you've been through. You're in the worst of it now, you just need to put one foot in front of the other and slowly get better. Eat, sleep, wash, repeat. Do those basic tasks for yourself and it'll slowly ease xx

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