in love with my Indian best friend

[GrayStar23]

Over the past year I’ve grown closer and closer to this man I’ve known for over 10years. I speak to him all day every day we send each other memes constantly and have 3 convos on different apps going at once , he lives a few hours away so I’ve only seen him a handful of times the past few months. Last time I seen him we kissed. When he’s drunk he tells me he loves me and he wants sex but the next day when he is sober he tells me about the dating websites he’s on and is on a new date every couple of weeks but these have never developed.

he’s always made it clear he wants an Indian wife and family so why does he keep me hanging there?

FGS, OP. You are being so passive.

he treats you like this because you let him. He has told you what he wants, yet you still
wait for crumbs.

Cancel the holiday.

Dont bother trying to ‘talk’ to him. You will not get resolution. Just block him and delete his number.

Cancel the ‘session’ and end the relationship. You are being demeaned. It will hurt but before too long you will feel much healthier and happier and ready for a real relationship.

why are you even asking what you should do when it’s so obvious. Please have some self respect and walk away this is not love, it’s pathetic.

There’s no point us trying to stay friends is there either? I don’t think he knows how much I love him, should I tell him?

Feel free to humiliate yourself further OP if you want.

Why bother posting?

Yes 🤣

Errmmmmm.

😌

He’s knows you are there if he wants you and he toys with your emotions because he can. He’s not your friend. Do yourself a favour and cut him your life. Get new interests build new friendships and move forwards, you only get one life stop waiting yours pining for him.

He knows, OP. He knows how much you love him. He’s been mining it for his amusement for some time.

Move on.

For your own sake, please step back and either return this relationship to a friendship or cut contact completely. He’s messing you around.

Of course cross-cultural marriages can be very successful. In my friendship group, two white women have been married to men of SE Asian heritage for over 20 years. But there was none of this messing around, they started going out together, were introduced to family and friends as a couple, then eventually got married.

Find your self-respect, OP. You deserve to be treated better and you will be -by someone else. 💐

What do you actually wanna hear? Because it's sure that you dont want the truth nor good advice.

Stop feeding his ego. Tbh I’m Indian and we have quite a few white people in our family and no-one bats an eyelid, it’s never been an issue for us or any of the other families we know.

But then It doesn’t really matter what the reason is, he’s taking the piss and he’s a giant twat and you can do better than emotionally investing yourself in this manipulative jackass. He’s stringing you along because he enjoys the attention, blowing hot and cold to keep you interested. No-one who even cares for you as a friend behaves like this.

No, because it’s just a feel good for him, he doesn’t even like or respect you enough to stop messing you about.

sorry OP but have to say at this point you are just being delusional

Are you expecting to be invited to the brothers wedding? Or do you know that that will never happen because he hasn’t even mentioned you to his family? And if you did get invited would it be as his partner,or as a casual acquaintance?

I think if you answer those questions honestly you will know what you need to do with this friendship/ not relationship.

Don't even think about going away in July. Block him on all channels and delete his contact details. Try to value yourself more OP 💐

OP his culture isn't relevant even many white men do this - keep women hanging in a situationship.
He's made it clear that you're not his girlfriend so go and find yourself a proper boyfriend.

yes, obviously cancel, and stop all contact, this person is not your friend nor a good romantic prospect.

I hope you ended it.

I was also where you are, many years ago. He did actually want to marry me, but the family and cultural pressure was too much.

And I simply could not imagine myself fitting into his world.

Anyway, he married his approved wife, and still contacts me from time to time, telling me what a mistake it was, would I have an affair with him, should he leave his wife for me etc. I was desperately in love with him, but I've had to put strong boundaries in place because it was never going to work. He is blocked on most of my social media etc.

It's such a circus, the best thing you can do is block and run. I'm sorry.