Told him multiple times + vile comment

[Chocolate2020]

For 6 years I have been telling my husband what upsets me and last night was breaking point .

I've been faithful for 16 years .
Still I get accused.

After another argument, I told him I'll talk in morning as he clearly had alcohol ( denied obviously)
He went out.

I messege him good night , don't wake me up and he normally doesn't.

I was woken up ( I didn't react or show I was awake )
He came in and yanked the sheets said it stinks in here ( I thought is my breath that bad ).

He said it it stinks of P**sy impliling I had been masterbating
I hadn't I was knackered from work and had my child up late.

That was my final breaking point .
I'm disgusted by him.

He sounds awful, is there anything good about him?

Ewwww

Definitely bin him.

Is he the father of your child?

What an arsehole.

Being single would be a blessing for you.

What are you going to do, @Chocolate2020 ? What are you looking for from the thread? Moral support? Practical advice? Solidarity?

You'll be happier without him, that's for sure.

Sounds like you should get well rid! What an arsehole.

Just someone to talk to , I've litterly hyperventilated in tears asking for change , every argument is the same . I'm so numb to it he tells me I'm a narcissist because I'm cold but I have to be to be sane .
He is the father to my children

It's all alchol related , just a drop seems to make his personality change and he gaslights me by saying he hasn't...so if that's true he is just a rotten person .

Him without alcohol he is great but now I'm thinking is it all pretend

I'm glad that's your final straw. Please seek support from your local domestic abuse service and get him out safely.

He seems to be obsessed with you sexually and the alcohol intensifies it. What a horrible thing to do to you to pull the sheets off like that? Scary especially when sleeping and equally disgusting. Can you talk to him about the impact of alcohol on you and how he behaves or are you too far gone and want out? Abusive he def is 😔

Also I hope you are feeling a bit better today 🌻

I couldn't read and run without suggesting you look up pathological jealousy. It's a psychiatric condition which is particularly common in drinkers who accuse their partner of infidelity based on no evidence. It can be dangerous for you, and it's hard to treat. I hope he doesn't have that but just wanted to make you aware of it.
I hope you are ok

From what you describe he thought you were asleep? So he wouldn't have thought you even heard what he said? It's just my other half could say all manner of things when I'm asleep and I would be none the wiser. I'm just not sure this one particular thing would take up too much of my attention if he only said it because he thought you were asleep. If he knew I was awake and was listening that's obviously slightly different.

he might be an alcoholic do you think? My father was (and said similar things), my brother and I were always present and it’s slightly traumatised us. If it escalates it could affect the children

Please protect yourself and your children from this behaviour. This won’t improve .

It's unlikely he will change. The only way this situation will change is when you leave and protect yourself and your kids from this nasty man. His alcoholism isn't for you to fix. Leave and have a chance at happiness.

So you'd be ok with knowing your partner was saying derogatory comments about you while thinking you were asleep? You'd be alright with your partner having that disgusting attitude about you as long as he didn't say it to you?

I'm divorcing my husband for something he said. Admittedly much worse than what your dickhead said to you but even so.

I would be recording him any time he speaks to you when drunk. I record H every time he comes round if it looks like he's going to kick off.

Sorry, WHAT?

Tell him that no it doesnt smell like pusy it now smells like dickhead... get the fck out

I went as a carer away with a sick relative. Dh reluctantly had the dc. On my return he emptied my case in front of my mate looking at my worn pants for clues I had cheated.. Filed for divorce soon after due to an even worse event.. Drink driving when he nearly killed us all. Ltb before he gets worse op.

OP your husband sounds awful. How often does he drink and subject you to this vile, disrespectful behaviour? You say he's OK when he's not drinking but it must be nerve wracking wondering when he's next going to come back drunk and start on the verbal abuse. Please put yourself and your children first and start making plans to separate from him as unless he gives up alcohol it's not going to get any better.

Come on! Why are you excusing this vile behaviour? It’s not excusable! EVER!

@NotQuiteNorma

Ewwww
Dump the disgusting weirdo

Pack his bags, put them by the door and when he wakes up tell him to leave.
That is absolutely disgusting behaviour you or your children should not have to listen to.
Alcoholic hiding it by any chance.
Please make him leave

Thank you all for your advice , and obviously he made it all about him and how he's got to think about what he wants ... does he stay or go . . I'm standing there dumbfounded as its like a broken record , I've been here before over the years it's always him him him , bet he snuck another drink .

To the untrained eye you wouldnt tell he has had a drink but to me I pick up on slight changes in his voice (I can tell over the phone) .
Since I started my new job its been like this every 3/4 days .

I used to look back and think of haply memories from when my kids were young and ever since covid I only remember bad.