Random guy just gave me his number

[Barbarella73]

I’ve just had a guy walk up to me on the street and ask me if he can give me his number. Thinking there must be some kind of scam afoot I asked him why, and he said ‘Because I think you’re really cute and maybe you might get in touch if you had my number’. He seemed sweet but too young. I took his number as I wanted to get home (I’m on my lunch break), and tbh I was flattered. This must be a thing guys do for a bet, right? I’m 51!!!!

Anterior motives OP IMO sorry

What's an anterior motive when it's at home?

OP, it could be genuine or not but either way, this probably isn't the first time he's done this, in fact he probably does it a lot and for that reason alone I'd find it grim.
Not keen on men who sleep around.

I'm of a generation that missed out on the whole handing numbers over on a slip of paper thing. To be honest, we're shit at dating so maybe there was something in it,
but I'm always a bit wary when a random man approaches on the street or such like.
I always assume he's just after whatever sex he can get.

I was once approached by a random much older quite handsome man on the street (He was in his 40s, I was in my 20s) and was very politely asked for coffee, he said he'd seen me about most weekends and wanted to introduce himself and thought we could get to know each over a chat. It really freaked me out and I said no, I was busy with uni and wasn't looking to date (then went home and had a laugh with my boyfriend about it). Turns out he was a very well respected member of the community and all around lovely man who lots of people know. I'm still ribbed over a decade later about turning the town's most eligible bachelor down but I don't regret it at all. He made me feel uncomfortable and I'm not that keen on pushy, "forward" people.

For every "romantic, love at first sight fairytale" story there's at least 3 scam
or sexual violation stories from random man encounters. It's right to have your wits about you.

Be flattered and bemused, at least there's no harm in that. I doubt it was a bet, but his intentions most likely weren't great.

Saw that OP, I meant generally!

An anterior motive sounds quite literally up front!!

What he just had his number written on a card or piece of paper and handed it over?

I didn't say it was sinister. Just that that's the game they play.

It's the in person alternative to swiping and designed to increase odds of success.

Ultimately men have to generate their own leads in dating so will use all different methods. Most men will never be asked out so if they don't want to be celibate, haven't make their own moves. I understand that.

I had someone approach me in Tesco once not so long ago. He spoke to me at the till then we swapped numbers in the car park. We did meet up a couple of times. He was younger than me but keen. I found him very brash so I didn’t pursue it. I’ve never come across a pick-up artist although they exist according to threads on here.

I was once approached by a random much older quite handsome man on the street (He was in his 40s, I was in my 20s) and was very politely asked for coffee, he said he'd seen me about most weekends and wanted to introduce himself and thought we could get to know each over a chat. It really freaked me out and I said no, I was busy with uni and wasn't looking to date (then went home and had a laugh with my boyfriend about it). Turns out he was a very well respected member of the community and all around lovely man who lots of people know. I'm still ribbed over a decade later about turning the town's most eligible bachelor down but I don't regret it at all. He made me feel uncomfortable and I'm not that keen on pushy, "forward" people

@All2Well genuinely curious, are you in a relationship? If so, how did you meet? I don't understand the phrase "pushy, "forward" people", given that all he did was ask you for a coffee. If you or your partner weren't what you'd call "pushy", then how did you actually connect? How did you connect with your boyfriend at the time, in your story?

Im a woman and gave my number to a stranger..im 51 and this was last year 🤣.. he rung and we had a date. Not for me but im quite brazen... comes with age..if you don't ask situation

My boyfriend at the time was a friend from university, we'd known each other for 6 months before dating. We'd both started to fall for each other as friends, then started dating.

All other relationships have been people I've metthrough school/uni/work/family/friends of family/friends of friends/family of friends/hobbies/religion etc. It's not that bizarre/odd...it's how my parents (colleagues) and grandparents (friends of siblings) met and lots of people of their generation and generations before. I actually don't know anyone in my own life who ended up married as the result of a random stranger from the street encounter. Even the online daters I know that are married, emailed, text or chatted on the phone for a time before going on dates.

I think it's pushy for a total stranger to approach another stranger in the street and assume they want to go on a date. You have to be pretty forward or full of yourself to assume that's a strategy that's going to work. Especially when there is a 20 year age gap, one is a student and the other a middled
aged man, screams red flags for me. Although he was polite and handsome, he did also come across as a pushy chancer and the whole encounter made me feel uncomfortable. I don't tend to ignore my gut. My dislike of "pushy" and "forward" people isn't just related to dating.

I'd give chuggers and sales people on the street a wide berth. If I'm not going to chat to a randomer about Sky Mobile or RAC,
I'm hardly going to say "yes, let's go to Pret A Manger now" to a random bloke off the street who has decided he liked the look of me.

I don't think it's an issue if they give you their number and don't ask for yours. It's up to you then whether you want to bin it or give them a call. If you are going to give them a call, that's the time to check out whether it is a scam of some kind of whether it sound genuine. You can always withhold your own number until you are sure.

He will have asked a dozen women that day. It’s a numbers game, if you ask enough you will eventually get a hit. Nothing wrong with that I suppose, and it shows great confidence that can be attractive, but I very much doubt he picked you because he thinks you are especially beautiful.

It's a sad world we live in these days, isn't it? Where we have to be suspicious and extremely cautious of a guy asking us on a date!

Was it really necessary to post that comment?

Exactly this!

I had a similar experience. I said no thank you and kept going - turned out guy was a recruiter for religious sect! They don't just target the young, but also those older who may have deep pockets.

l have posted previously up thread.

To add, l grew up in a Paris in a pre-internet world. Sometimes people would talk to you in bars, cafes, in galleries and on the streets. You’d meet again on occasion, even more occasionally, if you got on well, you might meet without your clothes!!!

Personality and chemistry is important, but physical attraction usually prefaces that in the first instance.

lf you met up in a public place and they started to tout religion or only talk to hour tits, you were not in danger and could just get up and walk away.

Amongst the men working almost permanently out on the pull, there were those approaching a woman for the first time. Nobody was harmed in either case. You have to get to know someone somewhere. On line dating, either after an initial chat, offers no more security in my view.

*ulterior.... it was the cursed autocorrect everyone!

I once had a guy get down on one knee and ask me to marry him. I said no obviously as obviously it was a bit of fun but still made me smile.

I used to work in pubs many years ago, men often gave me their number, asked me out, chatted me up. It wasn't creepy and no ulterior motives.

I'd love it if a guy randomly gave me his phone number, I know there are scammers but there are also 90% of the time decent honest men.