Random guy just gave me his number

[Barbarella73]

I’ve just had a guy walk up to me on the street and ask me if he can give me his number. Thinking there must be some kind of scam afoot I asked him why, and he said ‘Because I think you’re really cute and maybe you might get in touch if you had my number’. He seemed sweet but too young. I took his number as I wanted to get home (I’m on my lunch break), and tbh I was flattered. This must be a thing guys do for a bet, right? I’m 51!!!!

Some really cynical replies on here.

I would put the number into WhatsApp and see if the picture matches then at least you know if it's his real number or not!

The number is there but no pic!!!

Thanks to all who replied - seems to be divided into cynics and romantics with not much in the middle.

I often get approached by women when out and about; they ask about my hair (long and silver) or my clothes (feminine with pops of colour).
Maybe they are PUAs too!!!

Well ultimately, it's up to you but I wouldn't give any consideration to a random man who gave me his number in the street like that.

I often get approached by women when out and about; they ask about my hair (long and silver) or my clothes (feminine with pops of colour). Maybe they are PUAs too!!!

I think you probably understand their motivations are different.

Yes, there are some women on here saying message him and you've referred to them as romantics. Maybe they've just got really poor boundaries?

He knows nothing about you and, more importantly, you know nothing about him other than he is prepared to give his number to a complete stranger with a few brief words of flattery.

I'm sure you're aware of the shark cage analogy?

My friend used to tell me that, when they were at university, they would approach women they didn't know on a night out and say, "Fancy a shag." He reckoned they had a 10% success rate. This is no different.

Give your number to 100 random women in the street and maybe one of them will have poor enough boundaries to call. Do you really want to be that one?

The thing of movies.

Yes. And how many of the romcom tropes have been exposed as toxic behaviours?

Enjoy it as a brief unexpected moment that brightened the day if that's how you choose to see it but it wouldn't be for me.

But on a first date with someone, however you meet (there is a world beyond the internet) you rarely know anything about the other person.

Why does having a coffee with someone relate to poor boundaries? In spite your “fancy a shag” analogy, nobody is suggesting she hops straight into bed with him.

A guy asking you out on the street isn't a PUA move! It's just an old fashioned pick up. I wouldn't call him but it's not sinister.

Pick up artists call it day game. Will approach a lot of women on the street and see who takes the bait.

You've presumably had at least one conversation with them though?

Of course you don't know much about them, and that is what dating is for but you know if you can do that (a conversation) at least. If a random man approaches you on the street and gives you their number and walks off after nothing than a "youre cute" you literally know nothing about them!

I'd want to know that there was some basic compatibility there if nothing else.

Can a guy not give a girl a phone number these days? Unlikely to be some sort of scam really.

It used to be a way to meet people! Before OLD etc it was one of the ways

I'm very cynical and wouldnt be calling back, watch netflix (lover stalker killer, the puppetmaster) for some of the weird shit people get caught up in! hoiks bosom not for me, thank you!

I'd have no interest in a man who approaches women on the street.

Not sure if PP's point in not knowing him Vs an online match. Surely you'd text before meeting.

There's no need to be so scared of the world though. Maybe he is a PUA or a scammer. Maybe so is a man you'd meet online or at parkrun. If you wanted to take the chance that's fine just maintain appropriate boundaries and expectations. I doubt a sober mid 30s man on his own is approaching a woman for a bet.

Bait of what? Going out on a date with a guy?
im no defender of PUAs by any means but surely this is an approach to elicit interest from a woman in a date/conversation rather than a sinister manipulative pick up approach? There really isn't anything wrong with men asking women out (or vice versa!) they have been doing it since the dawn of time....and if they do take a scattergun approach it's no different to swiping right on every single woman on tinder. It's just increasing odds of a positive response. Nobody can say what the motivation is of men who do this, but to assume it's sinister is bizarre.

This happened to me a few times when I was in my twenties, long before online dating etc I never thought for one minute I was being scammed. I was in a relationship so never called anyone and probably wouldn’t have done so anyway. There are some very cynical replies here.

Same - back in the mists of time when I was young and beautiful and the internet and PUAs hadn't been invented and the number was a landline.

I think it's dodgy. I am very romantic and love my romcoms but I find picking up a woman off the street to call you is very Pretty Woman behaviour. I also don't trust a guy who just hands out his number to random 'cute women'. It means he is shallow with no discern for personality and chemistry. It shows male arrogance and lack of respect to women as an individual. Even if he isn't a scammer, he just wants sex. Is he a sex addict or promiacuous or a creep? A pick up artist? Pracitising his game on a safe target or doing it as a joke? I don't like any of the possibilities.

And sorry but with grey hair you probably look even older than 51 to guys. We women and older men can judge age better but i don't trust a 30 something man to know so it could be a granny fetish.

When would this be a meet cute? If he is over 48 and you had a chat where you made a connection over some common interest or view before giving you his number.

@Berlinlover that is not the same. You were in your 20s. Op is 51 with grey hair so deffo does not look younger. Your story was before dating apps, op's story in 2024.

Your comments deludind older women isn't helpful. It's not cynicism its being realistic. As women we need to stop gassing each other up and massaging each others egos with bullshit. It's delusional and unhelpful.

Anterior motives OP IMO sorry. He is probably doing the same to loads of women and targeting older women because he probably assumed they're desperate and this number thing will flatter them so much it's easy pickings.
As for his motive, maybe he's holding you will be his sugar mummy or just have sex with him whenever he wants because your keen to keep him interested... who knows

If he walked up to you and offered or asked for phone number = PUA.
If you had a conversation first, then said he had to go but enjoyed your chat, can he give you their number = higher chance of being genuine.

Sorry OP.

I'm not sure on this one because surely he noticed you wasn't his age? Usually I wouldn't jump to the conclusion because in my late 20s I've been stopped for my number.... he's too young for you either way OP.

I am 55, (and like everyone else my age I think I look younger) but if this happened to me I would assume he was just practising. I have strong boundaries and high self esteem.

LOL, OP

This thing happens all the time to one of our children who is now 30+ yof age.

There are many men these days that may hand out a hundred numbers and say the same thing and they often mange to get hits. Some of these types already have a partner/wife etc

It is kind of a scam in a way, but if anyone is up for being played, their choice.

This is wise advice

I said in my second message I wasn’t going to contact him - I’m not sure some of the PPs read that 😵‍💫