Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help please. What do I do in my situation

38 replies

Oddoneoutx · 11/03/2024 18:21

im quite laid back, I’m not nosy, don’t interfere In anyone else’s life, I keep myself to myself. I’m very much what will be will be type.

mu partner on the other hand reminds me how intelligent he is. How he knows what people are going to say before they say it.
he will be driving and in the space of 10 minutes will comment on the poor quality of every other driver. Or why someone has chose particular fencing when he would have done different.
he notices absolutely everything. Questions everything. We had a house sold in our street and he wonders what they’re doing, why they wasn’t working on it on a Sunday when they should be “pushing on with it” (he’s never met new owners)
another example. He went to the loo and I placed the remote on the puffee. He asked why I put it there and not next to where he was sat. I just shrugged and he asked again and said he is trying to understand my logic in doing so.
he criticises me a lot and when I answer he says I have an answer for everything and I should just say no problem as he knows what I will say before I say it.
he is so different with his friends and colleagues. (He’s a manager)

why do I get the shit deal.

OP posts:
Cantabulous · 11/03/2024 18:23

He sounds ridiculous. Stop being laid back and start telling him to keep his ludicrous ideas to himself.

Violettaa · 11/03/2024 18:23

He’s an arsehole! He treats you like shit because he thinks he doesn’t need to impress you. That’s crap on many levels.

Dacadactyl · 11/03/2024 18:24

I couldn't put up with him tbh and I'd be hot footing it out of there.

TheShellBeach · 11/03/2024 18:26

Your partner?
Do you live together?
He sounds very annoying.

TheGreatGherkin · 11/03/2024 18:27

What a twat.

ticktickticktickBOOM · 11/03/2024 18:28

There's a name for people like this

arseholes

MinervatheGreat · 11/03/2024 18:29

Just tell him to “do one.” Stupid man.
He’ll be glad of you when he’s old and decrepit & needs his dribble wiped away. He’ll get even worse as he ages if you don’t start calling him out on his behaviour.
I don’t know how you hold onto your sanity.

Eyesopenwideawake · 11/03/2024 18:29

why do I get the shit deal

You can always end it.

Geebray · 11/03/2024 18:30

Give him a statement he's not expecting - to leave.

Kittenchops · 11/03/2024 18:31

Get your walking shoes on....
I have a friend like this, she drives me mad, it's so tedious and draining.
Dont see much of her any more.

RedRockRolls · 11/03/2024 18:33

aah, he sounds lovely, your future kids will love having him as a father. You're so lucky.

Catlord · 11/03/2024 18:34

Sorry but this is the second thread I've read today that makes me wonder why some people remain with their current partners. Not saying he is a monster but he sounds insufferable. The other is a bloke who refuses to apologise at all. Why be this man's partner? There are much nicer men out there or there is your own company, which would be a lot less grating. I'm genuinely interested.

PleaseNoDontBeSickAgain · 11/03/2024 18:34

He sounds a bit like my DH. Together we've decided he has ADHD, but he's not interested in a formal diagnosis. His brain just never stops to rest.

I've had to draw some very firm lines in the sand over the years. For someone so smart he's quite a slow learner, and gets offended at the suggestion he's a bit much sometimes. But I'm not perfect either (undiagnosed ASD, on a waiting list for diagnosis) and need a lot of quiet, which is not something he's ever really known. But we work together to balance each other.

Has your DP always been like this? How long have you been together? He's unlikely to change, so give strong consideration to whether you can deal with this forever, and consider how it affects your relationship and whether he's open to talking about it.

EternalSunshine01 · 11/03/2024 18:36

What a know-all.

Treacletoots · 11/03/2024 18:39

You get this behaviour because you chose to be his partner. The simple solution would be to dump him, and quickly.

He's the kind of person who makes himself feel more important by belittling others. He won't change, and you can't change him.

You can however change your situation by removing yourself permanently from it.

Trust me. He sounds just like my ex husband. I tolerated 6 fucking years of the soul destroying drain on my life force before I finally threw him out. Don't be me.

Deathbyfluffy · 11/03/2024 18:41

PleaseNoDontBeSickAgain · 11/03/2024 18:34

He sounds a bit like my DH. Together we've decided he has ADHD, but he's not interested in a formal diagnosis. His brain just never stops to rest.

I've had to draw some very firm lines in the sand over the years. For someone so smart he's quite a slow learner, and gets offended at the suggestion he's a bit much sometimes. But I'm not perfect either (undiagnosed ASD, on a waiting list for diagnosis) and need a lot of quiet, which is not something he's ever really known. But we work together to balance each other.

Has your DP always been like this? How long have you been together? He's unlikely to change, so give strong consideration to whether you can deal with this forever, and consider how it affects your relationship and whether he's open to talking about it.

He (unfortunately) sounds like what I was like before I got my ADHD under control with meds and therapy!

Thankfully it’s something I’ve got a handle on now, as I’m not sure DW would still be here otherwise 😅

Lovetosleep1 · 11/03/2024 18:43

I'd be asking him what I'm about to say 30 times a day and see if he gets the message that it's annoying.

TwilightSkies · 11/03/2024 18:43

You don’t have to put up with it. It sounds draining and tedious. Is there joy in the relationship?

Bananalanacake · 11/03/2024 18:46

Don't let him move in with you, I'd laugh in his face whenever he criticised me and walk off.

tittybumbum · 11/03/2024 18:51

Ugh. Stupid man

citrinetrilogy · 11/03/2024 18:59

He's a big-headed, insufferable smartarse.

Why are you staying with him?

kinkyredboots · 11/03/2024 19:02

I would last about 2mins with this self inflated arse...who btw clearly has zero respect for you OP.

Fannyfiggs · 11/03/2024 19:11

What. A. Fucking. Mood. Hoover.

You need to either put some tough boundaries in place or call time on the relationship if you're not happy. Life is far too short.

TheShellBeach · 11/03/2024 19:15

He sounds like Colin Robinson.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 11/03/2024 19:22

He sounds like the most annoying man in the world. I don't know how you managed not to tell him to shove the remote where the sun doesn't shine.

Swipe left for the next trending thread