This could be a long story, but I’m trying to keep it short. I’ve been seeing a man for a year who, if I spend any time away from him (with my school age dc or just by myself), he gets upset and creates an argument about whether I want to be with him. Same if we go a day without contact. Generally, he will do something like ghost me, or threaten to break up, or he will book a flight somewhere and just go away the next day. This has happened today. I wasn’t able to speak much or to meet up this weekend because my dc was sick. I did see him 4 out of 5 days last week though. He accused me of ‘ignoring’ him, and has worked himself up to ‘if you want to dump me then just do it’ and when I didn’t rise to the bait and said I was sick of the drama cycle, he booked a flight and just messaged me saying hes leaving early in the morning for a week. ‘Just wanted to let you know’. He has no dc and works remotely so he can do that stuff whenever. It makes me feel so so shit. Last time (3’weeks ago) he refused to come back from his trip until I sufficiently grovelled on the phone, saying he was planning on rebooking his flight home to a later date, which he never did. And I’m embarrassed to say I did grovel. I was so upset and panicked.
He has told me that he thinks he might be a ‘drama addict’ and that he may have bpd and he has serious trust issues. So I do know all this. I feel like such an idiot. But even now, suddenly getting a message saying he’s leaving without warning, and knowing I ‘caused’ it, I feel so mixed up and sad. Someone who loves me as much as he claims wouldn’t do this, right? It just feels cruel. It’s like he’s withdrawing in such an extreme way, a way I couldn’t and don’t ever do to him, if he’s displeased with me. It really hurts. I don’t think I can bear to beg him back over the phone ever again. Please help me to end and block. my head is spaghetti from this man.