Anyone else doesn’t remember their childhood?

[Aydahayda]

I remember enough to know my parents were bad news. Mostly emotional abuse.

but now knowing what happened and what led to such extensive dissociate amnesia has a real impact on me.

anyone else also experience this? Not having memories from before age 16???

I have huge gaps in my memory and then some things, good and bad, I remember very clearly. The brain is fascinating.

This is exactly my experience.

@betterangels

I totally agree 💯 per cent,
very insightful the brain 🧠 the mind is indeed fascinating thing the way it works etc...

I’m in my late 60s, and have virtually no childhood memories. What I do remember is like watching a film - I don’t emotionally know it’s about me, there are no feelings associated with the memory.

I’ve long since stopped stressing about it, because I have no desire to unpack what’s probably a nasty can of worms, and I’ve been fortunate with the rest of life, and am happy with who I am.

i have the odd concern about that now I’m getting older. I know some older people remember their childhoods more than their recent lives, and wonder if, if my short-term memory falters, I will suddenly recall my childhood, or if I’ll just be like a bloody zombie.

I have very few memories. It keeps my mind safe to forget. I barely speak to any of my old family. They seem to have lovely memories for social media. I know my truth and it cannot hurt me anymore, because I will not let it. They either don't remember or choose to cover up the truth.

Have you had treatment for OCD?

I don't have any really vivid memories of the past. I'm okay with that because there really isn't any significance or important to any of it at this point in time. What would be the point of remembering it all? It's over and done with.

I did have a neglectful and abusive childhood from my narcissistic mother. Why would I want to revisit all that when some of the memories could be completely false or painful?

I have found this to be the case from me writing journal entries for maybe the past 15 years on and off.

My memory of certain events did not match what I wrote, say, 15 years ago. I can look back at an entry from 14 or 15 years ago and not remember it at all except for me reading it.

I also practice meditation and mindfulness and have trained my mind to focus on right now. I wonder if that contributes to not having vivid past memories? I guess some things that made an impact on me I might have memories of if I look at photos that might trigger some memories, but even those can be flawed.

I'm constantly replaying abusive scenes from my childhood.

I wish I could forget it.

I keep reliving it again and again.

I wanted to deal with the stuff from my past because I started looking at it in my twenties, so it was fresh & raw & the family were making demands of me that I couldn't go along with: my feelings about them were too strong, even though I had missing memories.

I needed to find out what the hell had gone on. I didn't really have an alternative because it was getting in the way too much.

As I worked on my stuff, I gained an incentive to continue: healing made a permanent difference to me & to my everyday life. It reduced my anxieties; it made sense of things so it put firm ground under my feet; it basically gave me back my life.

I appreciate that someone who's built a good life & made it to their sixties without needing to do that healing may not want to start now, & that's a valid choice. I didn't have that option - I needed to do the work or I would not have survived.