Be careful what you wish for!

[LilacHare]

Me and my boyfriend met 6 years ago while on an internet site while we were both married! We just clicked and fell in love! I divorced my husband 2 years ago and although it has taken him a while he has now left his wife and moved in with me and my kids. The trouble is everything has now changed! He spends very little time with me, moans about everything and is so miserable! Perhaps I never saw the real him the odd occasions we would meet? It has only been 6 weeks but I am thinking I have made a big mistake or do I try and be more tolerant? Help!

So your relationship started by you both cheating on your spouses
did you spend anytime together prior to moving in?
the whole things sounds fairly disastrous

Has he got children who he misses?

You probably won't get much sympathy on here, but I respect you for recognising the reality of it all. The bottom line is that you can't have been in love with your husband enough to cheat on him. It doesn't mean the guy you cheated on him with is 'the one', but a catalyst in your marriage. Be honest with him, it's better than putting up with what you are not happy with.

To travel is better that to arrive.

Please don’t move men you barely know in with your children.

“The odd occasions we would meet” ??

That's the problem with turning a part time person/relationship/affair into full time.

You and this man have blown your family apart. And you’ve moved him into your family home ffs. Were you actually expecting a happy ending from this? Where is your ex now and how old are your children?

It’s not about being more tolerant.

It’s about you not being compatible in normal life circumstances.

You were both idiots. Especially you. Moving him in with your kids when you don’t spend more than the odd occasion with him. Your poor kids. You imploded theirs life for an arsehole that will probably fall in love with someone else at the click of a button.

You played a stupid game. You won’t the stupid prize. His ex, She is the winner. She got away from him.

The OP's ex-husband also.

You reap what you sow. The only people I have sympathy for are your ex, you children and his ex wife and children. Enjoy your misery.

I have seen a lot of affair partners leave marriages and get together and live happily ever after in real life - but then there are the other ones.

Married affair partners tend to be on their best behavior inside an affair. You only see the good fun cleaned-up parts and you don't get the full picture of the other person.

If it isn't working out, then cut it off. Don't stay together because you made such huge sacrifices to be together.

Do you actually want to get back with your ex? Or just break up with your boyfriend?

So you’ve moved a random bloke you met online and only met up with occasionally in with your kids and wondering why it’s already gone tits up.

From what I can see about nasty people who cheat on their wives is that many women have a longing to actually get together with the guy but that the men who cheat just like the thrill and power of having someone dangling.

You're no longer being dangled and are effectively the same as his wife who he felt the need to cheat on!

You are now the albatross around his neck.

It won't last.

He's swapped his wife for you and has now created a vacancy.

He will find it so difficult living with you, especially with your DC. I'm sorry, but I doubt it will last.

Why are you sorry? She put herself in this position. You reap what you sow 🤷🏻‍♀️

You've made your bed, now lie on it.

Blimey @LilacHare is this a joke? Honestly, what did you expect?

He treated his wife like shit and you're surprised that he's treating you like shit?

you moved a guy n your kids barely know , that you barely knew ? And you are surprised he is not who he says he is . Did you even did a background check on him ?

What on earth did you think would happen? 🤔

It's a relationship built on lies, deceit and falsehoods.

This.