Are birthdays no longer important?

[SAH07]

I've celebrated a birthday recently, not a significant one, but noticed this year that some of my good friends haven't acknowledged it.

One of my oldest friends hasn't even sent a message. Previously we'd always exchange gifts, for nearly 30 years, even if late and send a happy birthday message on the actual day. They did know it was coming up because a mutual friend had asked me what I was doing that day on a group chat.

I do understand that as we age some people don't like to celebrate. I just think it's nice to receive a quick Happy Birthday message.

For me it shows someone that you appreciate them/care for them and are thinking of them. It seems even more important to me now as we don't know how many more birthdays we'll be lucky enough to celebrate or even the capacity to celebrate.

Am I just old fashioned and this is a new thing or are my friends just rubbish?

Some people, like yourself, are into them. The rest of us can only feign interest for so long.

I only have one friend I proactively wish happy birthday too and send a card. Have done for a long time. Anyone else I have done so only if they are having a party or some kind of get together.

Doesn't really occur to me otherwise.

My mum sends/receives presents for birthdays with about 10 friends which seems wildly excessive to me! I'm 44, she's 75 in case generations come into it at all.

You're not allowed to celebrate birthdays on MN, it's one of the Ten Commandments.

Thou shalt not participate in birthday joy.

Up there with owning a loo brush.

Yeah only CHILDREN care about birthdays! 😏

I hate my own birthday, and ignore it. I think making a fuss about birthdays for adults is a bit silly.
BUT, I do know that most other people think differently, so I send gifts, cards and messages to lots of friends. I do what makes them happy - which, presumably, is the whole point.

Oh is that a thing? I honestly don't own one as I hate them 🤣🤣

Yep this. Other than SM posts wishing me happy birthday which I get bored with liking after about an hour, I really don’t want or need my birthday acknowledged.

I don’t think I’ve sent a card in the last 25 years tbh

Some people aren't all that into them. I am, but if someone wanted to celebrate theirs with me, I'd expect them to invite me to something. Perhaps your friends don't realise it matters to you.

I do understand that. But to celebrate birthdays together for 30 years and then stop acknowledging them without a conversation seems a bit strange.

I’m going against the grain!
I love sending a card or SM message.
DP and I always go away for our respective birthdays and enjoy being able to pinpoint the occasion with photos.
When I was a kid, birthdays went by hardly remarked upon so I really like to remember family and friends on their very own special day.
Each to his own!

Dh and I celebrate each others birthdays...we usually go away. I send cards to my adult dcs but not friends....I send them a message.

Maybe your friend's got a lot on at the minute?

She might not actually care about birthdays but because she knows you do, has previously made the effort. This year, perhaps she's got too much on to give it the thought.

I don't really do birthdays with friends either. A happy birthday text is all they get tbh.

A text message is all I would want to receive anyway, not big gestures

The only reason I remember my closest family birthday if because Facebook tells me. I forgot mine a couple of years and I did 44 two years in a row because I told everyone I was doing 44 when I was doing 43. As you can see there are not a big deal for me.
Forgot to say, I remember the kids ones and celebrate them, they loved them and it is good fun for them.

@mydrivingisterrible you’re gonna have to elaborate on that one!
how do you clean your loo?

I’m guessing you don’t live in a hard water area?

I don't have one either. We bleach if needed but not sure why I'd need a brush for hard water? (We have very hard water here)

As for the birthdays, the reason we're here of course. I like to send and to receive cards, mainly for family and close friends. Other friends I like to acknowledge via message or SM just to show I care.

Forgive me, MN, for I have sinned 😱

I went out for lunch with my friend today, to celebrate her birthday, with card, present + cake and coffee

and we were joyful and laughed.

to celebrate birthdays together for 30 years and then stop acknowledging them without a conversation seems a bit strange.

maybe they woke up one day and went agggghhhhhhhh (blood-curdling scream 😱) because they couldn't cope with being old.

If its any consolation, Ive been good friends with a girl for Twenty Years and she seems to relish her birthdays / celebration; I always buy her a card and small gift, and she gets prezzies of money from her family and we go out and celebrate BUT!!!!!!!!! ....she has never asked whens MINE ( my birthday)...strange??????

@daisychain01 40 Hail Marys for you!

My friends and I don't bother with cards or gifts but will always either message or call.

I can't remember dates so I've got them in my calendar to remind me so I make sure to message and or call.

I don't think thats too much to ask if you consider them a good friend.

My best friends and I always send cards. And a couple of us exchange gifts (some of us do, some of us don't). And I will always acknowledge other friends birthdays with a message. It really doesn't take much effort to send a nice message to a friend 🤷‍♀️

I enjoy my birthday being celebrated and i enjoy celebrating my dh's birthday, ds' and wider family and a few friends. I don't know anyone irl who doesn't enjoy /celebrate their own birthday and those of others. It's only in mn posters pop up calling it silly etc. I have never met one real person with views like that.

I always send a text be it group or individual. I used to send cards but stopped.